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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that there's rarely an excuse for beeping at people in the car?

52 replies

pyjamaramadrama · 17/03/2014 15:39

Coming back from school run turning right at a t junction, cars were flying down the main road both ways so no opportunities for me to go. Car behind me wants to go left, the road is too narrow to let him past and he'd have unlikely been any quicker anyway. I'm talking the space of 20 seconds.

Big burly bloke behind starts beeping, waving his arms sticking his fingers up, saying shouting which I couldn't hear.

I still couldn't go because of the traffic so was stuck there with him honking and yelling.

I really don't know what his problem was, I went at the first opportunity, and even if he thought I was too hesitant, is there really any need to act like that? I find it intimidating and a bit frightening.

I honestly never beep at people, I've had people pull out in front of me, I've had people literally walk out in front of me, cut me up on islands. I really can't be bothered to beep and shout I just figure they've made a mistake.

OP posts:

Tanith · 18/03/2014 19:37

A friend of mine used to drive a huge Artic. lorry. One day, he was held up by a little old lady, toddling along in her car, oblivious to anyone else around her. So he leaned on his air horn, just to let her know he was there.

He spent the next half hour dragging her out of the ditch at the side of the road: she'd got such a fright, she drove straight into it

spongebob13 · 18/03/2014 19:43

beeped twice today. first was someone asleep at traffic lights and didn't see it turn green. was more of a bip than beeeeep.

but definitely was a beeeeep at the asshole who cut me at round about swerving into my lane going around the round about and he was going straight.

spongebob13 · 18/03/2014 19:46

he shouldn't have beeped and been aggressive but there is nothing worse than being behind someone at a roundabout or t junction or cross roads who wants the road clear for miles either side before they even attempt to drive out. I usually do loads of eye rolling and hands up going "cmoooooon ffs!" in the car to myself. but wouldn't beep.

WhatWouldMNDo · 18/03/2014 19:51

Sadly my DFather is one of those pointlessly and annoyingly beeping at you all with abandon so I unreservedly apologise on his behalf, he's acting like a twat. He appears to think it makes him look authoritative and hard on the road, judging everyone from the comfort of his 'suburban mum wagon' and loudly informing people when they've done something wrong like cut in front of him or stop a little too suddenly or not pull out into flowing traffic at the earliest and most deadly time or, most often, just dared to be on the road at the same time as him.

Have no idea why he, or anyone else, think it actually achieves anything - no-one has ever thanked him for his 10 second musical lesson in driving.

If I ever have to travel with him I genuinely get a facial twitch when I see his hand hover over the horn. If you ever get beeped by a man in a silver people carrier with a 30-something passenger who looks like she wants to die while, most importantly, taking the driver with her and is narkedly voicing comments such as "the speed limit is the maximum limit not the minimum" then I've apologised in advance so don't give me dirty looks too, just him

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 18/03/2014 19:53

I had great pleasure in beeeeeeping at a police camera van who thought he was going to drive straight across the roundabout that I was going right round. We came nose to nose on the roundabout so we both had to stop. I waved furiously and sounded the horn and he just shrugged at me. If the police don't give a shit I give up.

Original poster

pyjamaramadrama · 18/03/2014 19:58

The road wasn't at all clear though spongebob, there was traffic flying both ways, and even if I am slower than some people, i.e not pulling out on people causing them to brake hard. Is the person in the car behind me's time so much more important than mine that they wish me to risk causing an accident. Maybe if everyone just slowed the fuck down and had a little patience there wouldn't be as many accidents. I'm not a particularly slow or hesitant driver, I just don't think it's my god given right to try to shove everyone else along.

As for beeping at people cutting into your lane etc, what's the point really? Sure they made a cock up, have you never made a mistake when driving? I say just try to have your witts about you because beeping does nothing but confuse other drivers and cause road rage. You never know who you're beeping at be it a frightened little old lady or a knife wielding psycho looking for a fight.

OP posts:

alemci · 18/03/2014 20:08

I sometimes beep if I am going round a blind bend on a country lane which is rare and I go slow

PansBigChainring · 18/03/2014 20:27

Beeping in most circs is just an emotional indulgence. Tactically utterly pointless, and even more dangerous when cycles or m/bikes are beeped at.

Original poster

pyjamaramadrama · 18/03/2014 20:34

I think it's very much like being in the supermarket with your trolley, it's busy, your toddlers whinging at you, people block the aisle having a chat, someone spends way too much time standing staring at the baked beans, when all you want to do is pick up a pack of baked beans, people walk the wrong way round with their trolleys. Somehow we all manage to be polite, smile and say excuse me.

For some reason when people irritate us on the roads we can't be courteous, I bet if people actually had to face the person they wouldn't be so quick to shout abuse.

OP posts:

80sMum · 18/03/2014 20:47

It's not necessary to use the car horn except to warn of imminent danger.
Many people beep their horn out of impatience, anger or frustration or just plain bad manners, none of which are acceptable.

Edendance · 19/03/2014 08:40

My name is Edendance, I love in London and I'm a beeper...

Edendance · 19/03/2014 08:40

*live

ferrar · 19/03/2014 08:43

I ignore such people. They are not doing it personal to you. They do it to everyone.

ferrar · 19/03/2014 08:44

Why are you a beeper Edendance?

TwittyMcTwitterson · 19/03/2014 08:48

I can be a beeper at times.

Lady night I pulled up to a petrol station. It's busyish. I am behind the car at the pump, so I'm next. This guy takes a leisurely stroll to his car (which is fine) then he gets his phone out next to his car and starts texting. I wait and think dont be a bitch, don't be a bitch then he gets in his car and again takes his time. I didn't beep but I thought '30 more seconds and I'll do a little one'

I think it's rude to do that. I'd never dream of holding someone's day up like that. Or texting in a petrol station...

londonrach · 19/03/2014 08:52

Sound like your bully was making up for a lack of something. He couldn't have got any further. Can't remember the last time beeper but I do occasionally. Really wanted to yesterday as a car was dragging some plastic behind it and kept hoping the lights would be on red so I could have warned them. They turned onto the motorway and nothing could do.

londonrach · 19/03/2014 08:56

Plastic was attached to the whole of the undercarriage and flying everywhere but person in car wouldn't have seen it as too low. Looked like a sofa wrapper or such like. Was worrying about it for half the day. Hope it was okay. Typical no red lights when you need them!!!

spongebob13 · 19/03/2014 09:42

pyjama I didn't mean to imply that YOU were hesitant at this cross roads. this guy was obviously as ass. as for the guy that cut me off? it was more that he was about to cut the front of my car off and hit me hence why I beeped to wake the fucker up and pay attention. I cudnt go anywhere the roundabout was to my right so I beeped to get his attention.

Tulip26 · 19/03/2014 09:54

I learned to drive in the city. I love using my horn. I'm really bad, I have to stop myself using it sometimes.

Drunks in the road are a favourite to honk at, if they're carrying chips they go everywhere...

PansBigChainring · 19/03/2014 10:28

Yes, using your horn is dangerous and makes you a bad and incompetent driver.

TwittyMcTwitterson · 19/03/2014 10:35

Just remembered, I did beep yesterday tho. Some beeeech pulled into my lane at a roundabout. Had to slam my brakes on so I didn't lose the nose of my car. My beep was 50:50 'warning!!!! Watch my car' and 'you absolute twat, learn how to drive'. She still got all her passengers to look at me and give me fingers etc like I was to blame.

throckenholt · 19/03/2014 10:38

I beep at people when they do something dangerous that is close to affecting me - eg coming round a bend on my side of the road, or pulling (or stepping) out directly in front of me.

Marylou62 · 19/03/2014 11:48

About 10 years ago I was caring for a child who was dying...I was very sad...I got a call from his Mum saying that it was near the end and would I like to come over...I was crying a bit and made a mistake at a mini roundabout where I cut someone up...he didn't have to screech to a holt and we didn't even come that close...I fully except that my driving that day was a bit off...I MADE A MISTAKE... He followed me, flashing his lights , beeping his horn, gesticulating wildly and I drove in to a garage to 'pretend' to get fuel...he followed me in, yelling and actually got out of his car and was very close, threatening me..Luckily the owner knows me and told him to***off. Then took me into office where I composed myself. If you are reading this and remember the incident, I am sorry I cut you up... and just so you know...I had a lovely cuddle and the little one died later that day.

Edendance · 19/03/2014 13:48

I beep at people who step out in front of where I'm driving without looking, I beep at traffic lights if they've gone green if the person at the front hasn't noticed, I beep if someone overtakes when they shouldn't... Basically if I think someone is doing something dangerous or hasn't seen me then I beep.

To not do so means that it's more likely that those people could cause an accident as they may not have noticed and could do it again. I hope that by beeping it draws their attention to what could have been dangerous and will be more careful in future. I hate being beeped at but would want to be if I had done something dangerous, especially if I hadn't realised. Driving is a team game.

Can't stand road rage though, or being flashed and getting agro for driving the speed limit. That doesn't help anyone, just shows you up to be an idiot. I drive behind someone the other day who would slow right down to a crawl when they could see traffic lights up ahead on red- it was a pain in the arse!

MadAriadne · 19/03/2014 14:19

I beep 'politely' if someone's dicking about on a phone when the lights turn green, or about to cross a road without checking for traffic. Yesterday I was parked in a bay, sending emails, when the person behind blasted his horn for about 10 seconds. I ignored. He got out and asked me to move forward 'to let him out'. Wasn't my fault the spaces were tight, though I was happy to edge up slightly after he'd asked properly. Rude tosser.

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