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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit annoyed about this

16 replies

DDDDDORA · 17/03/2014 12:28

DD hasn't been invited to a party (which all the other girls in her class have) because the child's mother doesn't like the look of me.
This is a conversation that I overheard between the child's mother and another mum, at a party DD was attending at the weekend.
I don't expect DD to get invited to every party but to invite all the other girls and leave her out using that as a reason isn't right is it?

OP posts:
BumpyGrindy · 17/03/2014 12:30

NO and what kind of person says that within earshot of you!? She sounds awful and you're better off without her...so is your DD!

Take DD somewhere extra nice on that day...how old is DD? In your shoes I would say "Oh you couldn't have gone because I've booked us to go to X instead..." then if any other kid says anything, she's got an answer.

nicename · 17/03/2014 12:34

Good lord, how awful! How old are the children?

What a dreadful example to set - assuming you weren't wrestling a tramp to the ground for his last can of Tenants SuperLager naked or anything like than.

CoffeeTea103 · 17/03/2014 12:34

That's really cruel. Yes I second taking your dd somewhere nice on the day. It's going to be awful for her in school afterwards hearing about this party they all went to. Does she have friends, cousins outside school maybe you can gather them around and do something fun for the day?

Dahlen · 17/03/2014 12:38

Bullying is horrible anyway, but I am always saddened when I see parents actively encouraging it. That's awful for you and your DD.

In my DC's school at the age when parties were comonplace (they drop off as children get older) there was an unofficial policy that all the parents sensibly adopted in which you either invite less than half the class or you invite the whole lot, but it is not on to mark out one or two children by singling them out in such a way.

DDDDDORA · 17/03/2014 12:43

She didn't realise I was sitting behind her, the mum she was talking to wasn't very impressed and told her so.
She is only 4, I have told her that we are going swimming on that day, she loves swimming so she hopefully won't remember about the party.

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DDDDDORA · 17/03/2014 12:53

Nice haha I don't hardly see the other parents as I drop DD1 off 1st and pick up DD2 second so miss most of the parents so not really sure why she doesn't like the look of me.
Coffee I have an older DD and DH is off of work so it's going to be a family day.
Dahlen I didn't really see it as bullying but I will keep an eye on the situation just in case it does become the case.

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NinjaBunny · 17/03/2014 12:56

Well, at least you know who to avoid..!

Unless you're a doppleganger for Miss Trunchbull she's probably just bitchy and odd.

And desperate for a bith of attention and power.

Remember: Some people find nothing more satisfying than knowing you care what they think of you.

Pratice your Hmm face for the playground.

Brew Cake Flowers

nicename · 17/03/2014 13:02

She is either: a weirdo, Hyacinth Buckett or that awful Apprentice woman.

NinjaBunny · 17/03/2014 13:03

Oooo yes!

Is she Katie Hopkins?

Is so then I'd take her not liking the look of you as a MASSIVE compliment!!

Wink
nicename · 17/03/2014 14:26

I shall have some t-shirts printed up "I'm the woman Katie Hopkins warns against".

SallyMcgally · 17/03/2014 15:22

What a total bitch. YANBU. Glad the other mother let her know that that was out of line.

SallyMcgally · 17/03/2014 15:25

And no - it's never acceptable to ask every single person except one. I've seen people argue that once you're an adult you can invite whoever you like, but it's still unacceptable then to invite everyone in a recognised group except one. Some workplace handbooks cite, as an example of bullying, excluding one or two people from a cohort from a social event.

DDDDDORA · 17/03/2014 18:48

Ha ha nice, maybe Katie Hopkins has been giving her tips.
The mum that she was chatting to stopped me at pick up and told me that she wasn't allowing her DD to attend the party as she felt that the woman was a bully and didn't want her DD around someone like that and had told the mother that.
I honestly didn't think of it as bullying, I just thought the woman was odd!

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Joolsy · 17/03/2014 20:27

She could well be jealous of you or your DD. What a sad woman. Unfortunately it not only affects you but your DD as well. It's happened to my DD and she handled it much better than me! I felt really sad for her but she just sort of shrugged her shoulders (but she was 8 at the time).

DDDDDORA · 17/03/2014 21:59

Joolsy I think I'm luckier than you as DD doesn't really understand that she is the only girl not invited (probably because I told her that there wasn't enough space for everyone) but at 8 your DD would have known at least she wasn't too bothered by it.
I'm annoyed that some women that I have never spoken to is judging me on my appearance, maybe she is jealous who knows.

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nicename · 18/03/2014 09:35

She may 'not like the look of you' but you have every right to dislike her as she is a judgemental, silly moo!

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