To ask what would be more important to you:

[BigRedBall]

Giving your children nice home cooked food, fruit and vegetables they can eat from the bowl whenever they want, nice clothes and shoes and nice uniform (meaning at least 2-3 dresses/trousers and tights, socks etc for the week) all year around. Occasional holidays and days out.

OR

Taking them on holiday every school break, taking them out of school for days out so they have happy memories of going on holidays as children.

I mean what would you spend your money on if you had it? Only one or the other.

If that all you're basing this on? My ds is always saying he's hungry! And would eat at someone else's house even if he's just had a big meal.

I think you may be jumping the gun.

So the children have no proper food and no proper clothes? I don't think you can deduce this from one conversation - sorry. My DC don't have fruit for break ever (DD) or rarely (DS) -their choice, we always have fruit they can take. There are also occasions when I can't persuade them to eat breakfast. And DS will eat everything you put in front of him regardless of whether he had a huge meal not long ago.

Can you have a general conversation with your friend rather than assuming the worst?

I've known them for well over a year now so am not basing this on assumptions. For example, I've only ever had nuggets and fries or a sandwich and crisps to eat at her house. Her children were wearing spongey croc type clogs during the winter. The ones they'd been bought for their September holiday.

She tells me she saves up all her money for holidays. She has a car and a £30 a month phone contract. It's obvious to me how she's saving up for the holidays.

I don't want to make this into a benefit bashing thread, but she's also mentioned to me she'd like another baby soon so she won't have to work. I'm torn between feeling quite annoyed with her and feeling sorry for her at the same time.

Option 1 clearly.