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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send my son to school ill?

42 replies

VodkaJelly · 17/03/2014 08:26

Background, DS2 is 15 and for the last 2 years has had 100% attendance. However, since this term started in September he has been absent for 5 days.

He has had a couple of bad colds with hacking coughs that have kept him up all night so had a day off each time to recover. He has had the sickness bug which kept him off for 2 days and a day off ill with stomach cramps and a bad stomach.

I have had a letter from the school saying that they will not authorise any more sick days for him and I have to go to a meeting with the school to put a "plan" in place and any more "unathorised" absenses will then invoke the truancy officer.

My son loves school and doesnt skive, I also work full time so I do not let them skive off as them being sick is a great inconvenience to me. His absences have been genuine and he has been ill each time.

But, he has got the sickness bug again. He was throwing up last night and was still ill this morning. I have sent him in with a letter explaining that he is ill and why i am sending him in.

I know that he could infect other people and it is not nice, and I also feel bad for my son as he is ill and doesnt really want to go in. But I cant risk the truancy officer and having to take time off work to attend their pointless meetings. I phisically cannot stop him getting ill.

OP posts:
Ishouldbeweaving · 17/03/2014 11:15

Our primary school had the rule about keeping them off for 48 hours after D&V. After a vomiting episode I rang the secondary school to check whether they had the same rule and mine doesn't. As soon as they're fit to go back then they can go back.

Not the same as the OP's case as her son was still unwell but just to say that the 48 hour "rule" isn't a rule everywhere.

NurseyWursey · 17/03/2014 11:31

Yes YABU but I think you know that. You already know he could infect someone else, so you might be putting another parent in your position

Poor lad as well, nothing worse than having to go to work or school with a vomiting bug!

IamInvisible · 17/03/2014 11:37

YABVVVU.

DS2(17) caught a stomach bug last week, from another student who had been being sick all through the night before. This made DS2 miss the first part of his practical Biology AS level. He will have to do it today, and the second part on Wednesday, when it really should have a week in between for the experiment to be effective. There is a good chance he will not get the grade he deserves and will have to completely rely totally on the second experiment later on in the year for his grade.

It's really not fair to the staff, the other pupils, and their families, or your son to send him in when he is ill.

Nennypops · 17/03/2014 13:28

On the basis of the school's letter, YANBU. They told you they couldn't authorise any more time off for sickness, therefore in effect they have told you that you must send ds in even if he is sick.

It's all very well saying it's a computerised letter yadda yadda, they have a choice as to how they phrase their letters and could perfectly well say something to the effect that they will want you to get a doctor's letter rather than all this stuff about meetings. And if they have any immunocompromised children in school, it's up to them to take them into account.

NigellasDealer · 17/03/2014 13:30

sorry but you really should not have sent him with a sickness bug.#
if they start bleating about EWO tell em to bring it on.
ho hum let's hope the headteacher catches it then.
YABU

bonkersLFDT20 · 17/03/2014 13:34

Ha ha....someone should tell the million pound making pharmaceutical companies that sickness has to be authorised!

ghostofawasp · 17/03/2014 13:38

I understand why you've sent him in - I hope they've sent him home.

We got leaflets from the DC's schools recently outlining what merits keeping a child off, and what doesn't. I found the whole tone of the leaflet utterly patronising and I don't appreciate being told that I must send my child to school when ill against my better judgement because the government have deemed that 24 hours after vomiting is sufficient recovery time.

I was very pleased to see that my youngest DS's school sent out an accompanying letter saying that the leaflet contravened their personal school rules and that they wanted children to be clear for 48 hours before sending them back.

I just really resent this whole "sledgehammer to crack a nut" approach that is being aimed at parents increasingly at the moment. Hope your DS is ok.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 17/03/2014 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningonwillpower · 17/03/2014 13:54

Vodka - I don't think your school understands the regulations.

You don't need authorisation for sickness. How can you? Illness is not predictable?

You need authorisation for pre-planned absence such as holidays. But you do need to repot immediately any absence due to sickness - check your school's policy on this,

If your child has a number of unauthorised absences for holiday - the Educational Welfare Officer will be notified.

Sickness is a different category. Sickness is sickness. If your child has a number of sickness days below a certain percentage - probably about 85% - the EWO will be notified. Even then it doesn't mean that action will be taken - it just means that the EWO will be aware.

user1484429451 · 14/01/2017 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/01/2017 22:15

Zombie alert!!!!!!

Op, why have you bumped all these old threads? Just start your own.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 14/01/2017 22:17

user1484429451 please don't resurrect zombie threads. Start s new one - it's not as if there aren't several current ones on this topic.

LostSight · 14/01/2017 22:36

The irony of this whole thing is that it's based on a false assumption,

It was discovered that children with poor attendance did worse at school.

However, the original figures will have been skewed by the fact that a number of the poorly attending children in the original cohort, were from dysfunctional families. Because they had dysfunctional families, they were more likely to have behavioural issues and poor support at home. Their poor performance would remain, whether they attended regularly or not.

However, some politician saw 'children with poor attendance do worse at school' and rather than researching for the true cause, jumped to the conclusion 'if children with poor attendance do worse, we must ensure there is no poor attendance'. Then everyone gets hit with the draconian 'one size fits all' rules.

It's presumably also cheaper to make the school authorities beat good parents over the head with threats and punishment than it is to sort out the complex reasons that cause some children to struggle.

The results can be seen here on Mumsnet. Sick children being forced to go to school. Parents with jobs where they are not allowed leave during school holidays are unable to vacation with their children.

Grrrrrr...

Politicians should be forced to take exams to prove they understand statistics and confounding factors before they are allowed to take up office.

LostSight · 14/01/2017 22:37

Drat. Zombie thread with no warning. Sorry.

AtSea1979 · 14/01/2017 22:41

Nanny it's not heartless, sick DC as a bloody inconvenience. Mine seem to practically take it in turns. I've lost a job over it.

AtSea1979 · 14/01/2017 22:42

Damn it, no zombie alert.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/01/2017 22:43

Zombie!!!!!!!

userblahblahblah bumped loads of similar threads.

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