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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people should discipline their own kids...

43 replies

TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 14:59

Ok... First things first. Kids will be kids, accidents happen, etc etc.

At the not very local naice park and PFB (but is now 2.5 so I'm really over PFB syndrome now, I promise) was playing on a suspension bridge type play thing and they came on (must have been ten and eight) and bounced it loads. DD basically shit herself and started crying. Not too fussed about that as I'm sure they had no idea.

So, later she is on the slide about to go and it turns out there is another one about 6 in the family. They all push past her on the slide, when all the other kids are politely waiting their turn so they pushed infront of a few kids, again not too bothered about that. Perhaps DD will learn to not be a pushover from it, or something. It's a tad unfair but not a biggie.

Then, they all went down the slide while DD was at the bottom and went into her. I asked the father if he could actually watch them but in a wry polite way that was something like 'can u just watch your kids please cuz they keep going into my daughter' he looked as if he was ignoring me n then shrugged n went 'yeah' and about 2 mins later went 'chill out girls' half arsed.

Yes I should have moved my daughter quicker and whatever.

But am I being unreasonable to expect that you teach your kids to share, not hurt other kids, not push them, take turns etc?

I wasn't so much bothered by the kids, just their dads attitude to it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/03/2014 15:04

See I'm completely different.

I would have called to the children and said "Excuse me my DD is only little, so can you take more care please?"

Many kids tend to listen to strangers pulling them up than their parents anyway.

WorraLiberty · 16/03/2014 15:04

*rather than

justiceofthePeas · 16/03/2014 15:06

I too would have spoken to the kids. If their dad complained then I would shame him.

Chottie · 16/03/2014 15:08

I would have spoken to the children too while their DF was out of earshot At my local park there are swings and slides and rides for little ones and climbing frames and high slides for older children.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 15:08

I get nervous in case they think I'm disciplining their kids for them. I don't feel it's my place.

Saying that, if someone said your comment to my DD or said don't do x I wouldn't mind.

If my DD did what they did, I'd be really apologetic.

OP posts:
Nomama · 16/03/2014 15:11

Double post, OP, or did I just reply to this thread somewhere else entirely ? Confused

sleepyhead · 16/03/2014 15:11

See, I'd never speak to a parent about their child's behaviour unless it was really serious. I think it's much more aggressive to point out bad/thoughtless behaviour to a parent rather than just say "hey, come on be careful of the little one", or "no pushing please, everyone take their turn" etc.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 15:11

Ermmmm I don't think I double posted. I'll look... Shock

OP posts:
Nomama · 16/03/2014 15:14

You did! Weird.

I bet you couldn't do that again if you tried Smile

5Foot5 · 16/03/2014 15:20

I am just wondering what sort of play equipment it was that was suitable for 2.5 year old and 6, 8 and 10 year olds. I admit I may be out of practice at this given my PFB is now 18 (that's years nor months Grin) but I do recall that when we used to take her to our local park there was some play equipment that was definitely for the very little ones and then other things available as they got older and more able to cope.

When she was very young I would not have put her on the stuff meant for the older children since it wouldn't be fair on either her or them. I can imagine children of 10 and 8 would love to bounce about on a suspension bridge and it would be a bit of a drag for them if they had to creep about being careful because a toddler has been allowed on to something that wasn't really designed for such young ones

GreenLandsOfHome · 16/03/2014 15:24

I'd always speak to the kids tbh. Unless it's really, really bad behaviour, I think speaking to the parent is a bit ott.

If I saw a parent talking to one of my dc along the lines of 'Guys, please be careful, there are little ones in the park' that would be fine and i'd reinforce that.

If a parent came over to me and asked me to 'watch my kids' that would instantly get my back up tbh.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/03/2014 15:28

Yanbu if the big kids were on the little kids stuff.

Yabu if you were on the big kids stuff.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 16:04

It was age appropriate for both in a way as reasonable sized slide. Definitely designed for around 2-6 ish i'd say as all other kids were a similar age my DD. It's pretty big and has two areas that are about the same age wise and two that are 10 ish plus. And then a really tall slide that's definitely older kids.

It's welland park in market harborough if anyone knows it.

See I thought I was being overbearing and getting involved in others peoples business talking to the kids. Shock Glad I have you guys to direct me.

I only spoke to him re the slide as could have been dangerous and if he was watching instead of texting he would have seen and I would have said if my kids

OP posts:
HolidayCriminal · 16/03/2014 16:35

"Please be careful of little ones, guys!" is the type of thing I'd say. No biggie.

NurseyWursey · 16/03/2014 16:35

This is why parks should have separate bits for toddlers and kids.

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. But I remember my frustration as a kid when we couldn't play properly because a young un was there.

adoptmama · 16/03/2014 16:38

i dont think you were at all unreasonable - i would certainly have spoken to the kids the first time they did something and if had got to a 3rd thing i would have been far more forthright to both the children and the useless father

Delphiniumsblue · 16/03/2014 16:41

Another time just speak to the children in a friendly way.

AveryJessup · 16/03/2014 16:51

If the kids are old enough as these kids were then it's fine to speak to them and say something like 'watch out for my DD please, she's smaller than you so be careful of her' or whatever. With younger kids e.g. 4 and under it's hard because they don't necessarily understand and may get upset by a stranger speaking to them. In those cases I try to remove DS (also 2.5) and get him to play away from kids tat are pushing etc and are too young to listen to me.

Last week DS went over to play with 2 kids he didn't know at the park. They were about a year older than him, about 3.5, and they started hitting him on the head with a branch and laughing Hmm so I said to them 'can you be careful please? Don't do that. You'll hurt him'. They just looked nonplussed and walked away. Parents were nowhere to be seen so I took DS with me to play elsewhere. You can 't always control other kids' behavior but you can admonish them so your DC knows you're watching out for them and won't tolerate mean behavior.

DoJo · 16/03/2014 16:54

Another one that would just call out to the kids. Something like 'Wait a second, she's just getting off the bottom' usually does the trick, with an increasingly firm tone if they don't pay any attention.

I wouldn't speak to the parents - kids often sort these things out themselves if you aren't around, so perhaps the other parent favoured a slightly more hands off approach. I would probably be paying a bit more attention, but have found that unless other kids are actively crying over something deliberate or malicious it's not always worth getting involved.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/03/2014 16:58

Lots of equipment is suitable for that age range - my kids are 8, 6 and nearly 3 - the youngest has always been a physically confident child (actually they all are) and a climber - I'd hate it if there were separate playgrounds divided by age - surly loads of people have siblings who'd have to be split (meaning not watching the older ones) or play on the "wrong" equipment, if there were strict "under 4" and "over 4" ares... I generally wish less stuff was segregated by age, it is frustrating...

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/03/2014 17:01

Sorry, that was a tangent prompted by the "who was on the wrong equipment?" questions. I replied on your duplicate thread earlier - I almost always speak directly to the children, as most others have said.

LaQueenOfHearts · 16/03/2014 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 17:33

Avery, that sounds nasty!

Thinking about it, this was the youngest area. The other one was perfectly safe but DD couldn't actually get up on her own due to the way you have to climb up but after that it's fine. Then the others are older again.

LaQueen, them turning on me also scares me Shock I also don't really feel like I've changed much since their age so nervous about it. If that makes sense.

OP posts:
Valdeeves · 16/03/2014 17:56

Same as Worra - I'd just speak to the kids nicely

Caff2 · 16/03/2014 19:38

My other half was in Welland Park today, too, but it wasn't him, I have no daughters :)