to ask you all for advice on how to prepare for a VIP social meeting?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I'm WIBBLE. (not just metaphoriacl)

I'm due to go to an event with some QuiteREspectableMovers&Shakers in a couple of weeks.

I'm WAY out of my comfort zone. [glup]

I've heard they're a bit drinky, so that might help.

How to present myself? Hair, naice clothes, scarf (obvis) and knuckles waxed.

Any tactics for breaking the ice? I'll try to avoid falling up the stairs or spilling something.

Oh and I have hostess gift angst? I normally take a swede if I can't think of anything else, but I'm getting tired of veg.

Please help?

Yes to innocuous starter questions - 'So do you like swede?' Etc.

And yes to lippy, a good tip is to put it around your eyes as well as your mouth. Dramatic, but not in a TOWIE way.

Good luck, you will be fine.

Not a in-joke /clique thread, Holla.

Just me requesting slightly comedic strategies to deal with an uncomfortablish situation that's occurring soon.

And MN replying, helping me in spades. [sideeyes]

Definitely find out what their favourite biscuits are andctake a pack. Or several.

Steal a memento.

Take a turnip to win friends and influence people.

I think you need an awfully sharp papaya to follow the turnip.

You need to mug up on current affairs (both senses - or at least some local scandal), and perhaps some nearby good works, community projects etc. which is very VIP can mean something on a national basis. Also get the Sunday Times and read the book reviews, plus watch the Culture programme on The Vikings (still on iPlayer) so you can pretend you've been to the brand new exhibition at the British Museum.

Sorry! Momentarily confused: of course I meant a viciously sharp slice of mango.

talcsandturnpiss

I Love you.

talcandturnpiss???!!!!

BornFree - that's the second time this month I have been decorated with the Turnpiss medal.

I feel most honoured.