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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still feed baby jars (albeit organic)

52 replies

Odaat · 15/03/2014 14:53

My dd is nearly 1 -for her lunch or tea i often give her a jar of organic baby food.
I have true baby led weaning and it was a messy nightmare! Mashed up food is soooo much easier to spoon feed her. She only has two teeth too.
I feel incredibly guilty though! She does have toast and lotsa fruity snacks that she feeds herself. Plus i often blend my tea and give her that for her last meal of the day.
I am trying to get rid of jars altogether, but the thought of gettin rid of mashin up her meals and feeding her terrifies me as i know it will get real messy and she will throw half of it and be starving two mins later. If I feed her i am ensuring she is getting enough.
AIBU to still be spoon feeding her now? As I say it is not all the time and she does feed herself snack and bread etc

OP posts:
Doingakatereddy · 15/03/2014 15:37

Getting back to the point Hmm

My 11mo DD is the same - lots of finger food, but struggles with meals not been blended / mashed. I give her jars as life's too bloody short, she has jar / pouch every other day.

Totally normal & in line with plenty of other mums I know.

JuniperHeartwand · 15/03/2014 15:37

How will she learn to feed herself if you don't let her though? Like everything in life it takes practise. You can't just hand her cutlery for the first time aged 3 and expect her to know how to use it.

NannyK7H · 15/03/2014 15:41

I have a charge the same age. He normally has a load of food put on his highchair tray and then I have a bowl and spoon feed him in between his own mouthfuls. So I might do spag bol, I would put pasta and green beans or whatever on highchair for him to finger feed, and then fork mash up mince and pasta to spoon feed (just enough so it would fit on spoon!) - I've only stopped whizzing in the last month as he went from 2 teeth to 6 teeth almost overnight!
Don't worry about your DC going hungry, she will eat if she's hungry, she will throw/smear (!) if she's not.
We've has breakfast completely thrown on the floor but morning snack has been scoffed.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2014 15:42

She's not even a year old yet OP

I'd keep doing what you are doing and don't worry too much about it

A mix of jars and blended home cooked food, is fine at this stage imo.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/03/2014 15:42

I read somewhere there is as much nutritional value in 2 teaspoons of actual food, as a whole jar of Jarred food, even organic. quality not quantity.
Great that you're stopping the jars.

NannyK7H · 15/03/2014 15:46

Ps my charge has Ella's Kitchen too ;)

babybythesea · 15/03/2014 15:46

I spoon feed DD2 one meal a day too. Also to ensure she gets one decent meal inside her per day. She's 11 months. I can also feed her a far bigger variety of food by doing that, so she gets to try a wider range of food. The child has no teeth yet so there's a limit to what she can actually manage to eat. Plus there's food she loves - poached white fish for example, and scrambled egg - that crumbles or mushes if she does it herself. So I feed her. The second meal of the day is finger food. I do also give her jars, but not savoury. I give her the fruit ones, that have things like mango in. I'm not buying mango for her, but it's another taste for her to try. I don't do the savoury jars as I don't like them and I don't give her stuff I wouldn't eat myself.
I did exactly the same for DD1 and at 5, she's more than able to feed herself with no help so to suggest that spoonfeeding at one means still doing it four years later is frankly daft. As for playing with food, some kids might not, but both mine have/do. It's part of learning. DD2 eats tidily enough until she's full, then throws it over the side of the high chair. DD1 grew out of it long ago so again, no need to assume that what they do now is how it will always be.
Jars can be very handy if they are part of a variety of other food types. Mix it up, let them enjoy it and it will all be fine.

babybythesea · 15/03/2014 15:54

I think there's a few posters being a bit daft. Mashing a meal a day for a one year old really doesn't stop your child learning to feed themselves. Especially if it's part of a mixed approach, which the OP's is. It's a gradual hand over in the same way that learning to dress themselves is, rather than insisting they learn it all straight from the word go, is all.

Original poster
Odaat · 15/03/2014 16:01

Thanks to the other posters that hve recognised the deliberate grandiose and outrageous comments left. I see it a lot on here and it is just really silly. Thanks so much to all who commented with helpful advice. Motherhood is hard without others making it more so. I can ask questions without expecting a barrage of bullshit that is thrown at me from one part of my WHOLE post. Read all the post then comment for the love of god! Its almost comical!

OP posts:
JuniperHeartwand · 15/03/2014 16:01

Babies don't need teeth to eat real food! Their teeth are just under the gums, their gums are hard enough to chew anything (not bite off a piece of apple sure, but chew anything). We did 100% BLW, our baby didn't get her first tooth until 11mo.

Original poster
Odaat · 15/03/2014 16:03

Ps the advice on finger food alonside me sooon feedig food is really helpful and I shall try to do mre (i do do this a little) thanks

OP posts:
monicalewinski · 15/03/2014 16:05

Just think there's no need for jars now because you should be past the point of puree long since.

Just mashing up/breaking down whatever 'normal' food you're having should be enough, give her some in a bowl with her own spoon and feed her too, in between her own attempts.

Easy!

bigoldbird · 15/03/2014 16:06

Guess what, I fed mine food from jars, they are now 24 and 21 and are not only alive but both at University, one studying for a Masters (stealth boast). Do what suits you and your little one. If you aren't actually hurting them you are doing fine.

HadABadDay2014 · 15/03/2014 16:08

Sounds like you are doing ok.

Food is messy to start with while they are learning how to feed themselves. When cooking I suggest purée 3/4 of the food and set it aside and serve 1/4 unpureed so she can have a go and then feed her the purée after.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2014 16:11

You just do what you need to do in order to get your child to eat.

When I only had one DS, I had all the time in the world to sit there while he played with his food, mashed it up and threw it around.

When his siblings came along and I had school runs to do and places to get to, did I have time for that?

Did I fuck! Grin

You can mix it up. You don't have to do 100% anything...just what suits you and the baby at the time.

meanddog · 15/03/2014 16:41

It's entirely up to you but things have got to get messy at some point!
Less mushed up food can be less messy also, sounds like she can handle more solid stuff anyway.

My niece is three and still won't eat main meals unless they are mushed up, stirred together and cooled down for her

Original poster
Odaat · 15/03/2014 16:44

Haha they are still alive!? Wow! Who'd a thought it. Yes, I was jar fed too and have a Masters so mayb there is some sort of correlation...? hehe

OP posts:
Chunderella · 15/03/2014 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babybythesea · 15/03/2014 16:53

juniper - No babies don't need teeth for lots of food. But there are things that you can't manage without, like apple. And some foods, like poached fish, you can't do without a spoon. And my 11 month old loves her fish. She lacks the co-ordination though to get the food on to a spoon and into her mouth, so I do it. Just like she can't get a t shirt over her head so I do it for her. You chose to BLW. Great - works for you. I chose to do a mixture, which worked for my 5yo and works for my nearly 1yo. You had a slightly OTT reaction to the idea of spoonfeeding, I feel. I think that your implication that a child will never learn to feed themselves if you are still doing it at (horror) a whole 12 months old, is a bit, well, daft, as I said. And wrong. Do what works for you, but it doesn't mean what someone else does is outrageous. Unless they're preloading the spoon with cyanide.

Gen35 · 15/03/2014 17:01

Dd got almost exclusively pouches and jars until 1 as I was terrified of her choking, she is a brilliant eater at 3, I would try lentil dishes, things that are naturally soft like fish pie, shepherds pie, cottage pie etc :) Sympathies, I hated baby led weaning, messy, takes a huge amount of time and they eat much less - horses for courses. It's not a long phase, they soon make a lot less mess and learn to chew well!

MiaowTheCat · 15/03/2014 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 15/03/2014 17:02

If you're happy doing what you're doing then carry in. I'm always well amused when people clutch at their cardie over jars but powdered cows milk is fine... baby food is made to high standards or it wouldn't be sold.

It's not forever.. she's still little yet. I have to mash up and spoon feed my 7 yr old and I'm sure you won't still be by then Wink

LadyintheRadiator · 15/03/2014 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Odaat · 15/03/2014 17:07

By the way tonight I give her peas to eat herself (she did eat some and threw the rest about ) with fish, potato and a little butter to soften it. I mushed the potato slightly wish a fork - she ate fish by hand :) glad to know I am not doing somethin awful , but deffo gonna start doin more solid stuff now! Thanks for the encouragement

OP posts:
Original poster
Odaat · 15/03/2014 17:12

Yep she cannot spoon feed herself a whole meal yet, but her motor skills are fab! She is infact quite advanced on the whole :) and very greedy! So maybe I should chillax a tad :)

OP posts: