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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my boss is being an a-hole?

24 replies

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 09:19

I've name changed just incase any colleagues recognise me.

I suffer with CFS and it's been quite bad, I struggle to get up in the mornings but I do my best but I'm often late but no more than 15/20 mins.

My boss is aware of my health problems and to date has been fantastic, understanding and accommodating, however, I handed in my notice a couple of weeks ago because the stress of the job isn't helping and is adding to my health issues.

Since then it's like he's out to get me. Every day this week I've had sarky comments, full on dressdowns infront of the entire office and today I was 3 minutes late (which isn't uncommon for others across the entire company inc himself!!!) and I got yet another bollocking. Our office starts at an unusual time and it's understood and accepted that this was to allow for people to settle down with drinks etc before actually starting work, so when I get in I crack straight on while others are often still in this "settling" in phase. I always make the time up either at lunch or after work but these humiliations are making me think screw you!

I just needed to chat really and get it off my chest otherwise I'll probably just cry but I feel like since I'm leaving his whole attitude towards me has changed yet I'm still giving 100% to cover off everything that needs to be done before I go despite how ill the job is making me.

OP posts:

FoxyHarlow123 · 14/03/2014 09:21

It's utterly unreasonable to regularly be 15 minutes late for work. You've handed your notice in though, so your boss will soon be a distant memory.

formerbabe · 14/03/2014 09:39

That's not fair foxy...it is not a case of the op being lazy or can't be bothered if she has CFS.

FoxesRevenge · 14/03/2014 09:41

What's CFS?

formerbabe · 14/03/2014 09:43

Chronic fatigue syndrome (correct me if I'm wrong op).

FoxyHarlow123 · 14/03/2014 09:47

Look, if you can get there for 8.30, you can get there for 8.15. But I don't know the full facts - do you have flexible arrangements, do you stay on later to make up your time etc etc? All academic 'cos you're leaving.

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 10:06

That's it formerbabe, chronic fatigue syndrome.

Since getting ill my life has got so disorganised. I know I have a massive problem but I can't see a way out. Most nights I'm too tired to cook dinner, I sleep most weekends so nothing gets done. My house is chaos.

I just feel like a complete failure. I try so hard to get to work on time. When I'm there I pull my weight and make up the time. Always.

I don't think people have a clue how much I'm struggling at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 10:10

I know this will probably sound ridiculous but I was so proud of myself for only being a few minutes late this morning. That's how much of a struggle it's been lately.

OP posts:

pussycatdoll · 14/03/2014 10:12

Could you just get signed off with stress & not work out your notice

formerbabe · 14/03/2014 10:17

Yes I was going to ask, why are you not signed off sick?

15 minutes late if you have CFS doesn't seem shocking to me...you poor thing, it sounds dreadful.

Foxy, I see the cup of human kindness is over flowing today...

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2014 10:19

He is being a wanker. Just think..you will be out of there soon. Hang on in there x

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 10:20

I have thought about that but there's so much work that needs to be completed and I'm the only one with the skills to do it, everything needs to be fully documented for my replacement. And there's a voluntary role I'm interested in applying for and unfortunately, any stress related absences could jeopardise that future application.

I'm hopeful that one day this year I will wake up and be normal once again?!

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 14/03/2014 10:21

How much more notice do you have left to work?

Hope it's not too long.

msmoss · 14/03/2014 10:22

Some people are just arseholes, unfortunately quite a few seem to work their way into management positions. It sounds like he might be taking out the inconvenience your leaving is causing him on you which is totally unacceptable.

Not long to go now though and you'll be free of him and he'll still be an arsehole.

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 10:23

Thank you fango and former for your lovely words x

OP posts:

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 10:26

And thanks youthecat and msmoss!!

He had been wonderful up to me resigning, so it does appear as if he is taking it out on me. If I could walk out today, I really would but I have two more weeks to go.

OP posts:

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2014 10:27

Can you talk to him. Say you wish you didnt have to leave but are ill and trying your best.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2014 10:27

Or even email him.

flowery · 14/03/2014 10:30

You don't need to get signed off with stress, you get signed off as not fit to work because of your CFS.

FoxesRevenge · 14/03/2014 13:34

There's a boss at my office who gets arsey when people hand in their notice. He takes the fact that they're leaving as a personal insult and treats them like dirt until they leave.

soulrebel63 · 14/03/2014 13:42

If you're always 15-20 minutes late then why don't you set your alarm 15-20 minutes earlier?

AShadowStirsWithin · 14/03/2014 13:47

Bahahaha soul, CFS doesn't really work like that. OP a cure for your diagnosed medical condition! Just get up earlier!

CrohnicallyChanging · 14/03/2014 14:32

Your CFS sounds bad enough to be legally classed as a disability, under the equalities act. Therefore your boss must provide reasonable accommodations. Allowing you to start up to 15 minutes late and make the time up at lunch sounds reasonable to me!

Perhaps speak to your boss, remind him that you have handed in your notice as a direct result of stress and your health, and point out that if it's not acceptable for you to start late as a result of your medical condition and you push yourself too far in getting into work on time, that you might relapse and not be fit for work at all?

Don't give up hope though, we had a student at my workplace a few years ago, who had previously been bed and wheelchair bound through CFS and had made an almost full recovery to the point where you couldn't tell she'd been ill at all.

PoirotsMoustache · 14/03/2014 14:42

FoxyHarlow and soulrebel, I think you need to read up on CFS!

OP, I'm sorry your boss is being a jerk. Please take the advice of others and have word with him. Also look at being signed off, as your CFS is preventing you from being completely fit for work.

Also, as others have said, you've not long to go now so don't take it too much to heart, try to let it just roll off your back.

Best of luck

Original poster

ReadyToBreak · 14/03/2014 14:45

Bahahahahaha. Yeh, like my mother telling me that I just need to snap out of it and get on with it. Obviously I just need to push myself through and not tell myself to not be so exhausted - another mother "gem".....

All my clocks/phones/alarms are set to random times ahead ie at least 10/17/21/33 mins fast.

I am trying.

I'm only just over 30, I never imagined I'd feel like an 80 year old. There seems to be so much support out there for for young children but not much for working adults.

I'm too scared to be signed off work (dr has suggested this) as I fear it may affect my job prospects.

OP posts:

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