Am I a shit mum?

[bordellosboheme]

I lost my temper this morning and kicked wood panels on the side of the bath 4 times (luckily didn't break) and then threw a bottle of washing up liquid dramatically into the bath....

Lots of things induced this rage, including dp making annoying throwaway comments, like lets put the lettuce there to rot away in the fridge, underplaying the importance of looking after my elderly dog who has just had an operation. Dp is facing possible redundancy, leaving me a potential breadwinner in the near future.

Then, ds climbed on top of the composting scraps in the kitchen, making rotting food spill everywhere and hurting himself. I shouted to dp to help, but dp carried on looking at his emails on the laptop. Whilst putting out the offending bin ds again slid on the remaining juices, before I had a chance to clean them up, and lay there screaming on the floor. Dp did nothing. I ran back, picked ds up and put him on the sofa. Then ran into the bathroom and then I lost it!

Are we a dysfunctional family? Am i dysfunctional?

I am worried about emotionally scaring ds 1 who is 2 like my dad di to me with his rages. I never felt quite 'right' and I blame my dads bad behaviour for this.

OP everyone has shit days. No you don't sound like a shit mum. I've never lost my temper like that but if you are someone who does "lose it" from time to time at least you went in the bathroom so nobody could see and you didn't break anything. In my opinion that makes you a good mum/partner. Some people would direct their rage/frustration at their kids or dp. You didn't.

Your DH sounds a bit shit though, why would he not go and see what was up with his child or help you out? He needs to support you more.

The chop was in the pan cooking. I threw it straight from the pan and it hit the wall. Husband exited house for ten minutes and the chop went back in the pan. When he returned we had a nice quiet dinner and he ate the said chop. never complained again about my cooking

OP I hope you are feeling better... We all lose it at times

We do all lose it at times OP. My DCs are grown up now but still laugh about the Christmas Eve that DH wound me up to the point that I threw a bowl of cake mix at him then had a paddy because he ducked and it missed him!

There are two ways to deal with this; be aware of your temper and try to head it off when it rises but the key thing is the pressure you are under. Your DP needs to step up from the sound of things

Your DP needs to step up: I agree. Losing the plot does set a bad example and I imagine the sounds of kicking the bath would travel but at least you went to the bathroom. My dad was full of rage and I'm on a mission not to shout at the moment.
Btw my unreconstructed DP also mentions me doing 'women's jobs' like baking cakes etc. I tell him when he is the main bread winner and does all the 'men's jobs' like mowing the lawn, which I do, then I'll do women's jobs.
I think your DP needs to pull his weight a bit mire and you'll find your need to rage magically disappears.

I'd say not a 'shit' mum or a great mum. Just a mum.

I lose my temper - sometimes massively. I try not to and on the whole I don't.

Sometimes I am distracted, grumpy, sad, angry. That impacts my children.

We are imperfect all of us.

The main thing is to apologise when you have lost it, be honest with dc if your rage was actually nothing to do with them but with your stress, talk, allow them to talk, show them people lose their tempers but things can be resolved afterwards.