Am I a bad mum for feeling like this.....

[OnMyJones]

I love my 4 month old daughter and I wouldn't change her for the world but sometimes I feel like I wasn't cut out for having a child. I find it hard dealing with the fact that I'm never going to have a lie in again, never going to be careless again and pop out here or there and that sort of thing. Some days I feel like I'm not responsible enough to be making all these choices and decisions for my daughter, it all is a bit overwhelming. I love her and as I said I would not change having her I just sometimes think that I'm never going to have my old life again and I sort of miss it, is that really awful to say?
I have a supportive partner, family are useless but I manage well really as she is fairly straightforward to look after.

Another bad mum signing in as I've felt like this at times (mine are 6 and 10). I'd love to have my weekends back sometimes - currently dominated by homework and sports fixtures.

But I've gained so much from having children, done things I wouldn't have otherwise done and laughed and played. I've changed my view on what is important and stopped taking myself too seriously (which was one of my clear failings before DC).

What I am coming to realise now, is the time when your DC want you around and need you to be available for them is actually very short. I still struggle to get my head around the fact that DS1 will be 11 this year. In 4-5 years, he will be so much more independent of me and I am half looking forward to that and half dreading it.

It's amazing to hear all the replies, I go to a couple of mum and baby groups and the mums all seem to cope with emotions and hormones well, the big gripe they always have is sleep deprivation. I am quite honest with how I feel or try to be as I haven't really got anyone else to talk To about it but they don't seem to understand so I don't go into too much for fear of looking like I'm nuts or can't cope. I wish I could find a group where I fit in better.
Thanks for your replies though as the thought of doing lovely things with DC really makes me happy I just got so tired I would just like her to sort herself out, go to sleep Somwwhere without my help and on me, let me get dressed in peace, that sort of thing. I would never obviously leave her to get on with it but it feels like massive adjustment being on call 24/7. My OH home today so I took extra long bath and felt bad for that, motherhood has made me crazy! :)

I'm sure they're thinking the same :)

Have you tried your local churches? I met some really friendly mums there

We are all like that whether we are prepared to admit it or not. It took me six months to love my child.

It gets better. Look after yourself.

4 months is really hard. Wait another month. For me, that's when the fog cleared a little. You're doing a great job.

If you are crazy the so am I. (It is a possibility) I have a 6 month old and I sometimes really miss just being responsible for myself.
Yet I find it hard to relax when she is cared for by DP or my mum, I feel guilty for wanting me time, I blame the hormones and just keep chanting "this too shall pass".
Luckily my local nct groups are full of people quite willing to admit to many feelings which would sound crazy to others - keep looking for groups where you feel comfortable, it really helps?

This is what being a parent makes you feel like
It's very normal I felt the same
I've never been an earthy mother type
Both my dds late teens are happy well rounded young adults and I am enjoying them now at this age more than ever.
Parents enjoy their kids a different stages so it will change as they grow