to think the mental impact of unhappily married parents on children is severely underestimated?

[Qix]

How come when studies look at the impact of divorce on children they compare the outcomes of children of divorced parents with the population as a whole? Surely they should compare the outcomes of children of divorce with the outcomes of children of unhappily married parents?

Or maybe I'm missing something and there is such a study and I've missed it? Always possible

My parents are divorced and for me parental unhappiness is a massive burden far beyond the simple logistics of who lives where.

Drank I did fear a flaming on the basis of a thread about a thread.

Best day of my young life was when mum LTB

mum2bubble- my parents' split was like that, and to this day I only see my Dad once a year. But it's quality not quantity. Even when parents are together, there might be one parent they have more of a relationship with, no?

I also live abroad, and see my Mum just a couple of times a year. But we talk loads, and are very very close. My Aunt, who lives on the next street to her son, sees him and speaks to him far less than we do.

Staying together in a loveless family home is just worthless. Why shouldn't any adult have the chance for happiness? Just because I gave birth doesn't mean I sacrificed my right to be me, with my own wants, needs and desires. I still come first. (Unless there's a house burning down or the last Rolo scenario obviously, when it's dd )

When my parents divorced my home was happier but we were very poor. Not sure which me and my brother preferred tbh.

I know I would have been far happier if my parents had split up and I could have gone to live with my dad. It was an extremely unhappy household and my mother was violent and emotionally abusive. My dad always said he would leave, but in the end couldn't be arsed.

I don't think this is a TAAT - it's looking at the flipside of the argument, and it needs doing.

pointy thanks!

Qix

Yeees. I suppose you could ask people if they thought their parent's marriage was happy. There'd be the risk though that unhappy people would be more likely to remember their childhood as unhappy, plus you'd have to account for cultural differences; Americans tend to self-describe as happier than most other people for example.

Doesn't mean it's not worth doing or can't be done, but it probably can't be done on the same scale.