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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weddings are getting a mind of their own.

44 replies

Summerblaze · 11/03/2014 17:54

I know i am getting on a bit and got married a zillion years but what on earth is the point of a pre wedding shoot. My friend is getting married in september and is going about an hour and a half away to have some pictures taken.

I used to love weddings but now it just seems to be all about the stuff and how it looks to everyone else.

Yeah yeah its their day, blah, blah, blah but AIBU to think its just all a bit of all show and no substance.

OP posts:

Kundry · 11/03/2014 23:47

We had one for our engagement photos. We wouldn't have chosen one but it came with the package and we were glad we did - it helped to spend more time with the photographer, we did it at the venue so helped us see what did and didn't work but most importantly we discovered that it looked like DH was eating my face in the pictures of us kissing

Thank God we discovered this before the wedding pics. No-one has ever seen any of the engagement photos and we practiced our 'elegant' kissing for the wedding pics

Original poster

Summerblaze · 11/03/2014 23:59

Not at all wilsonfrickett. My wedding was a big day with the full church wedding, bridesmaids, 3 course meal set up. What I am trying to say badly is that it was a nice day for our guests when it arrived and a day to remember for me and dh but it didn't cost the earth to attend (it cost us plenty), it wasn't shoved down everyones throats constantly for a year and the venue wasn't full of gimmicks for the sole purpose of outdoing the last persons wedding.

OP posts:

sunshinemmum · 12/03/2014 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieStella · 12/03/2014 00:07

"weddings are getting a mind if their own" - oh yes please! Then they can plan themselves neatly and all people have to do is turn up. But would we miss bridezilla threads?

Lottiedoubtie · 12/03/2014 00:12

YANBU I do think it spoils the surprise a bit for the groom too. Still each to their own I guess.

What surprise?

BackforGood · 12/03/2014 00:22

What testing said in about the 3rd reply.

Tunip - the thing with those 'Problem pages' in magazines though is that a considerable number of the letters must be made up, surely ? I know when I was at school it was not uncommon for a group of people to be composing their own made up 'problems' to send in to Cathy and Claire grin]

WilsonFrickett · 12/03/2014 07:19

But free photos (or as part of the photography package) wouldn't add to anyone's costs and while you may feel they're gimmicky, they aren't even part of the day.

If your real beef is with constant facebook updates then I'm all over that!

sunshinemmum · 12/03/2014 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TunipTheUnconquerable · 12/03/2014 08:50

BackForGood - v likely to have been made up. The shocker is that the editors felt that was a reasonable piece of advice to give.

AramintaDeWinter · 12/03/2014 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 12/03/2014 10:22

My db got married to a Chinese lady. They had the wedding pictures taken in China in a studio, then had a very small registry wedding with just my parents in Europe a month later, then a big party for the family several months later. The wedding phtos are absolutely out of this world. My brother looks stunning in mandarin costumes etc.

(They are still happily married 15 years later)

KitKat1985 · 12/03/2014 11:00

Our photographer included an engagement shoot set of photos for free in the cost of doing our wedding photography. We wouldn't have paid extra to have it done, but don't feel the need to turn down a freebie either! Also both me and DH were a bit nervous of being in front of a camera all day on our wedding day, and the engagement shoot is a good way to get used to the photographer and get used to having your photo done lots.

Yes some people do go over the top on spending for weddings, but if it's people's own money and it makes them happy, then what's the problem?

Nocomet · 12/03/2014 11:13

My cousin did this as lottie it was mainly a get to know the photographer session, although they got a lovely shot for the invitations too.

Yes, their wedding photos must have cost a fortune as there were loads and the got the disc with the copyright, but they are beautiful.

My DD2 was a bridesmaid and loads of the family who rarely meet were there.

Because they had the disc my aunt (who is an artistic person) has done my parents a beautiful photobook with the best shots of the DDs, them and my dad's cousin who he loves dearly but lives abroad.

I'm guessing she had loads of fun doing similar books for all sorts of peoples Christmas presents.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 12/03/2014 11:22

I think wedding are getting really over the top too. It isn't just a wedding now, it is a week's holiday for a hen/stag do, then all the things that go on before the actual wedding.

The wedding itself costs so much they can't invite everyone they want and upset people and it seems to me that it is just stress upon stress.

For me it was the fact I was marrying the man I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with, it wasn't a huge Hollywood style event to show off to everyone else.

We didn't even have wedding photos, just pictures that friends took!

Obviously everyone is entitled to do what they want but I wouldn't have wanted to spend all that money on 1 day.

GrendelsMum · 12/03/2014 11:37

I think some people must look at their wedding albums regularly, surely, to want to pay so much money for them? I've always thought DH and I are a bit freaky for having stuffed ours in a damp cupboard, and only seeing our wedding photos when we visit DMiL and DFiL, who have them beautifully displayed on a sideboard. (I always think 'oooh, I scrubbed up quite well on my wedding day' when I visit)

angelos02 · 12/03/2014 11:40

My wedding photos are still on the CD that the photographer gave us. Haven't got round to printing them. Just got a photo that a friend took that we loved and have framed. Bit of a waste of money looking back.

Grokette · 12/03/2014 11:46

The skinny bridesmaids thing just reminds me of the Ab Fab where Saffron is getting married to the posh bloke, and Edina grabs Titicaca and shoves her out the door and pulls in a blonde skinny model in Dior or something. Hilarious and scarily true to life.

YANBU by the way. Too much posing, too many people buying DSLR cameras. The sale of those things should be restricted.

Apatite1 · 12/03/2014 13:08

I haven't gotten around to printing my wedding photos either. Pre wedding shoot was part of our package too, helped my husband relax as he really didn't feel comfortable posing for more than about 2 shots beforehand. It was a complete godsend for us to have someone we knew and liked at the wedding (she did a great job, our wedding ended up in a bridal magazine).

kernowal · 12/03/2014 20:12

GrendelsMum Thank goodness for that, I'm not the only one.

WilsonFrickett £70 was a reasonable price for wedding photos 20 years ago! I'd be horrified at spending £2000 today though on photos when there's so much other stuff that sort of money could go towards. Each to their own.

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