Forced sterilisation. Who is bu?

[pyjamaramadrama]

My boyfriend and I got into a heated debate over this at the weekend.

We were speaking about someone I know 'of', she's had 8 children, there are 5 different fathers and some dispute over the paternity of the children. The children have all been neglected, emotionally and physically abused and are now all in care and have unfortunately been separated as they all had different needs and physical and behavioural problems due to what they have been through. She is now pregnant again and the baby will be taken straight into care.

My boyfriend thinks that she should be sterilised because she will just go on having more babies who will be taken straight into care. I think that he is wrong.

My argument against is that where would you draw the line? This woman's situation is extreme, but would it open the door for other 'undesirables' to be sterilised? I also said that she may still turn her life around, unlikely, but she could.

His opinion is that even if she did turn her life around, she's ruined all those young lives and doesn't deserve a second chance, he compared it to killing somebody, I made the point that even murderers get a second chance.

I asked him if he also thought that runaway dads should be sterilised, he said that they should. See how the gates have opened?

I'm pretty sure that most on MN wouldn't agree with forced sterilisation, but I'd be really interested to hear some intelligent arguments about why this could never work. Or perhaps some people think he has a point.

i understand some of it but not all my ex is a right swine about my daughter hasn't seen her for ten years+ he has gone on to have a marriage and a few more kids his wife works because he is avoiding paying for my daughter im really tempted to bu and say he should have his knackers chopped off years ago

im not sure i could force anyone else though

And there are others who have their children taken who were just in a bad place at the time, and wouldn't necessarily go on to have another baby taken from them, that do turn their lives around, and change, or that were too young to look after their child at the time, or too messed up.

The other side is as well, that forced sterilisation on those who lose their kids, abandon them, what about those with medical conditions? Such as epilepsy or diabetes that at the time were in no fit state to look after them but after medication and their condition being stable they could easily look after a child.

I do believe these women should be given counselling, my son was taken from me and initially the first thing you want is to fill the absolutely massive gap that is left behind when you lose every sense of who you were, what was your very being. However, I recognised that I needed to get better, make my son proud of his birth mum and then be in a situation 5 or so years down the line that if I were to have a child there wouldn't be concerns. I have learnt through therapy that the reasons I made the decisions and mistakes I made was because of the parenting I received and the abuse at the hands of my elder sister. The important thing is I am learning and improving my life.