To think the pressure is too much

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Coming here for traffic mainly, not sure if I'm the only parent who thinks this and wondering if there is anything I can do to help/change things.

My DS is in reception, youngest in his class. He never read or wrote before school, apart from his name. He did amazingly well first few months and was excited to read and picked it up very quickly starting off with books of about four pages and phonics.

He has to hand in a book every day - that's the aim anyway, that's what the teachers want us to be achieving.

We are finding this hard and AIBU in thinking this is rediculous. The books he is on now are about 12 pages, a lot more words, trickier, double sounds, etc.

Now, this would be ok if we didn't also have the pressure to complete words lists seperately and hand in a other homework (maths, drawinings, etc) He is reluctant to even draw a picture for school at the moment.

The time we have makes it almost impossible now that he is reluctant. We get in from school about 3:45 and he goes to bed at 6:30 in that time I want him to have some time to play or watch a bit of telly, then we have tea, then bath then it's bed. I've tried to do homework and reading after school but he is just too tired and reluctant it turns into a chore. So I decided to wake up earlier and do it in the car before school. Which was better at first, but now the books are longer he is becoming a lot more reluctant and it is a very stressful task to complete, I feel like I am constantly nagging to meet these expectations of the school, I wanted it to be fun but it is turning into quite the opposite for the both of us.

This morning, it was so bad that we only managed to get past page 2. I felt very stressed so I imagine DS did too - not a good way to start the day. I thought I would speak with his teacher but as DS went in she was in a hurry and shut the door. His main teacher has been off sick a lot and ATM is off for the forseable future.

I think the pressure and expectations are unreasonable. However, that's not something I can really change. I do not want DS to fall behind or see school work in a negative way at such a young age. I work full time so unfortunately our evenings are quite rushed - Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do to bring back the fun and make it less of a chore for the both of us. Just mentioning story time causes touble at the moment.

Xenadog and Essiebee, thank you for your responses I feel confident in talking with his teacher now.

I agree with Summer, I am sure it is possible and if I didn't give him that wind down time for half an hour that would be extra time to force him to read after school, and yes I do mean force. He doesn't want to do it, no matter what I say. I'm a first time mum and I don't have DPs help so any ideas on how to bring back the fun and make it more enjoyable would be appreciated

summerblaze if your children have moderate learning difficulties of course it will be harder for you and them. But NT children should be able to cope with three pages of a book a night IF you make it fun for them. 4 is not too young to learn that some things have to be done, bribery always worked for mine. I really don't see that a few pages of a book a night (and I mean three pages of biff and chip so approx 20 words) is not pressurising in itself, yes of course it is stressful but that is because your child doesn't want to do it and my point is, if you make it fun for them they WILL want to do it. OP I would go in and talk to the teacher and see if she has any ideas - that is if you want to make it work.

You could ask for him to go back a stage in his reading books so they are much much easier for him - then it wont seem so intimidating.

Yes, I have mentioned I will take him back a reading stage.

I do want to make it work!
:-)

I think it's a shame when reading becomes a chore. It should be about getting a child enthused about the joy of books. My dd is now 6, and I've never made her read when she doesn't want to. I've always read loads to her, and got her to fill in with occasional words (eg. I'd read "The balloon went..." and she would finish "Pop!" Basically anything with an exclamation mark, she liked to read). She learnt without conscious effort by following the lines as I read, and now she's a very strong reader.

I have two G&T children who were free readers by the end of Y1 and who love reading. My third son HATED reading and refused to do it - every evening became a total battle with him having a total meltdown. I got increasingly stressed about his reading and everything from gentle encouragement to bribery through to shouting .

In class he was doing really well, loving his phonics and the teacher had no concerns.....her advice was to completely, totally and utterly forget about getting him to read books to me after school/before school/in the car etc. because it would be counter productive and was stressing both of us out - and the whole point was to make things fun and encourage him to see reading as something to enjoy, not stress over. I downloaded Reading Eggs onto my Ipad and he worked through some of those levels which he didn't see as reading - and gradually he worked out that reading was fun. He's now in Y1 and flying along and I am sure it's because I just became really relaxed (outwardly at least!) about whether he read to me or not.

We have to do a book a night - and even now when he's keen, some days we manage it, some days we don't and I've stopped worrying about it - but that's probably because he's my third (of four) children, so I haven't got time to stress as much about it as I did with my PFB!

Also as part of reading him a story, you can pick one word that he recognises and get him to say it every time it comes up - even if it's "the". He can guess from context, it will build his confidence, and he gets to enjoy a more complex story than he could read himself.

Have I read your post correctly Red you say a book every day you mean he is supposed to read a different book every day? This sounds absolutely ridiculous!! It is not just about reading the actually words it is about understanding the story, the characters, the meaning and letting the child's imagination work with the book and not forgetting enjoying it..this cannot be done in one day only to have to start all over again the next day! No wonder it is becoming a chore for the poor little thing and poor you too for feeling like you have to do this!

If you feel it is not right for you and having a negative effect on the whole process then if I were you I would slow down the books. Speak to the teacher about your feelings and the effect it is having. They need to give you a very good reason why they are putting these demands on you and your DC. Reading should be enjoyable not a big chore. Good luck.

PS I would have thought a book a week ( on average) is plenty at this age, even every two weeks.

If my DD wanted to read then she read, if not, we played games with the book. I never wanted books and reading to be a chore so I've always tried to think creatively re this.

If she wasn't in the mood to read much we alternated paragraphs with me reading to her and her to me.

I'd read to her and ask her to find all the occurrences of a popular word on each page.

We'd discuss the characters, how they are different and how we might feel.

We'd talk about whether the picture was the best for the story or if DD would have done it differently.

She often liked to copy the story out and practice her writing.

She'd do a spelling test for me, picking a word in the page and asking me to spell it. By 'teaching' me she felt I was doing all the work!

If she wasn't interested in her reading book, she'd read something else she was interested in. She's always liked cooking so usually it'd be to do with that. Anything to get her interested.

Yes you've read it right a new book every day! Today I asked to speak to his teacher and she said she would let me know tomorrow night when is a suitable time.

You're all right. He's bought a new book home
Today, asked him if he'd like to read it and he said no, fine. Instead we have made a cave for the Gruffalo out of a carboard box and read the instructions for his homework together, just some does it float does it sink stuff. He's much happier tonight and he's playing with his Gruffalo cave :-)

I do get him to pick words out that I know he can do when I read him his bed time story, so I'll continue.

We had reading eggs which worked really well! I may try it again.

Thanks again

Glad you are feeling happier; it occurred to me that he may be unsettled because his regular teacher isn't there, and that hits Reception class hard, and lasts a long time, however nice the replacement is. Amazed at the science homework, hope you just have fun with it in the bath.