wibu to stop and give out to this woman

[spongebob13]

coming home last night from late night shopping on a dark windy country road and only for a car coming against me, with their headlights I spotted last second a woman walking in the dark in black. I swerved to avoid her and braked and the other car passed. I came to a stop. my heart was thumping and was shaking and i was so mad. I reversed and rolled down window. she stopped and looked in at me as if i was looking for directions not a bother on her. I said exactly "jesus Christ I nearly hit you. you are all in black! are you mad?" she said "what?" I said "I couldn't see you and it would be my fault if I hit you! " she said "fuck off" and walked on. I was in shock. haven't stopped thinking about it since. I swear if I knew who she was I'd report her but for what law she is breaking I don't know! selfish bint!

[Logg1e]

You're right, the OP had to be driving responsibly on this occasion. Because of the eggs.

[RiverTam]

that's the thing - for all that the OP should drive more carefully, it's her responsibility etc etc - that's going to make sod all difference to, for example, the young man jennifer refers to. He's dead. And he's dead for want of making himself more visible (or indeed visible at all).

[PrimalLass]

And if it is so dark that you can't see a person until you are nearly on them you either are driving too fast (likely) or have a problem with your lights (possible).

That is nonsense. If you drive on country roads with blind bends you could be going at 10mph round the corner with top-notch lights and not be able to see some fool walking in the road.

[ChocolateWombat]

It seems to me, that it simply isn't safe to walk on these kind of roads at night. Probably not safe in the day either, due to the bends and lack of pavement...it is why you don't normally come across people walking down them ever.
I think we are talking about lanes which join villages....can go on for many miles. These are not residential roads, without pavements but fast vehicular roads unsuited to pedestrians. They are the kind of roads where really nasty car crashes happen and a pedestrian just doesn't stand a chance.

If the road was like the one Im thinking of, that person should never have been walking there, never mind in the dark and wearing black, although their chances of being hit would have been high in the daytime too.

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

Absolutely PrimalLass, why do people not know this?

[LtEveDallas]

10 years ago I drove an Army landrover off the side of a country road in Hereford and into a ditch swerving to avoid a pedestrian who appeared from nowhere and was nigh on invisible. I smashed my face off the steering wheel, bruised my nose and broke my cheekbone. I have pain there on and off to this day.

I couldn't reverse the rover out of the ditch and sat there for 4 hours before someone came out to find me (no mobiles, no radio - just lucky I was following the directed route).

By the time they got to me I was in a right state and seriously pissed off with said pedestrian, who didn't even fucking stop to see if they could offer help (or a phone).

So I'm with the OP on this one. The language that I shouted at the (nowhere to be seen) pedestrian once I had got over the shock would have to be heard to be believed. Even I didn't know I knew some of those words

Oh and ALL my jackets (and DDs) have a high vis strip - I put them on myself if they don't come with them. It could save my life.

[LessMissAbs]

I'm still a little bit surprised over the few that said give her a lift. if i had my son with me and saw a woman thumbing or walking in the rain i would not offer her a lift as have seen it on the news and heard it locally about others then waiting in the ditch to hijack car once you stop for the woman

Why on earth did you stop then? And roll down your window to have a lengthy rant at her? That hidden person preventing you taking more humane action could easily have reached in your window and grabbed your car keys.

[ChocolateWombat]

The more I think about it, the more worried I am about the idea of a person walking on these kind of windy country lanes, miles from anywhere. In terms of safety, it is the equivalent of walking on the motorway...definitely a no no.
I would imagine the pedestrian had some kind of issue to be there. Perhaps they were very drunk or had just had some kind of crisis. Most people would not walk on such roads, knowing them to be totally unsafe for pedestrians. For this reason, I think in an ideal world the Op would have asked if the pedestrian was okay....can understand though, that Op was shaken up by incident herself. I also understand you might not want to offer a stranger a lift. My big concern later though, would have been that the pedestrian had a very high chance of being hit by a later motorist. If I had thought of this later, I would have called the Police to mention someone wandering around, in the same way I would if I saw someone wandering g around on a motorway. In safety terms, I really think it is the equivalent.
I think it is okay to drive at speed on country lanes where that is the speed limit. On country lanes in the middle of nowhere (not those near villages) drivers do not expect to meet pedestrians and so are not driving at the 30mph needed to give you time to stop. This is perfectly reasonable. It is the pedestrian who was in the wrong place.

[LessMissAbs]

mumsnet does seem to spawn a high number of very rude drivers who think all roads are motorways, with no possibility of other road users on them.

Recently while driving I've encountered a couple of runners in the dark, two cyclists with no lights and a horserider. None wearing hi-viz. I found them all perfectly visible with the headlights from my car, even though it was on a narrow windy and twisting country road. I didn't feel the need to stop and rant at them, nor was I particularly disturbed by the sight.

Judging by the number of comments about people encountering other road users, outside cars, with no lights or hi-viz, it does seem to be something you might reasonably expect to encounter on a country road at night. Therefore it makes sense to drive appropriately. Equally you might encounter a deer, rabbit or other animal, so speeding through country roads, at a speed unable to stop if an animal runs out in front of you is perhaps not the safest course of action.

[ChocolateWombat]

I think it depends very much what kind of country road we are talking about. If it is in or near a village, then yes you can expect to meet people. Most country people though are aware of this issue and carry torches/wear high vis.
There are areas though where there is no settlement for miles and miles. You really would not expect to meet someone wandering there in the night.

I don't know how people reconcile driving at 50mph on country lanes (which IS a reasonable speed) and pedestrians being there. I certainly wouldn't want to walk down roads with no pavement and without stuff to make me very obvious if it was very dark.

[SauvignonBlanche]

People live in the country. Not everyone who lives in the country can drive.
People who live in the country are allowed to leave their homes.

Some country roads do not have pavements, pedestrians share the road with other road users, these often include wild animals.

[spongebob13]

it was a passenger window and couldn't grab my keys. i dunno why i am even replying to this thread anymore. i have learned that i was wrong and i agree yet keep getting flogged and reading snide remarks ("because of the eggs"). its been an interesting debate. i again and for the last time agree i was wrong to reverse and speak to her like i did. i was rash, shocked, angry and stupid. BUT i still feel she was silly whatever her reasons were for being on the road. tbh she didn't look stranded or stressed just out for a walk. she obviously could see or was only walking from one neighbours house to another but for the last time, i was not speeding and i swear i could not see her!

[spongebob13]

6 miles outside a town where the road is lined with trees that nearly meet above you creating nearly a tunnel effect. very dark, few houses.

[RiverTam]

mumsnet also seems to spawn a high number of people who will, to the ends of earth, defend in indefensible, giving more and more unlikely (and irrelevant) reasons why they might be doing whatever it is the thread is about.

Pedestrians, especially on unlit country lanes with no pavement, need to keep themselves safe. They will come of worse in a collision with a car, regardless of who is legally responsible. I find it almost impossible to understand why you would defend this and think it absolutely fine.

[LtEveDallas]

I wasn't speeding - it's pretty impossible to do so in a restricted diesel L/R. I wasn't on between villages either, not in a way you could expect to see walkers.

My sister and her family live a mile from a village down a very thin road with absolutely no light sources. They ALL wear bright jackets (even the fashion conscious 20'year old). The dog has a jacket and high vis lead and they have runners flash lights. Country people are generally more sensible in their outlook.

[ChocolateWombat]

Spongebob, I think your shouting at the pedestrian was the lesser of the 2 problems. Your behaviour might have upset the pedestrian. Her behaviour could have killed her and you too. Much more serious.

You shouldn't have been rude and with hindsight you know it. Having just avoided someone in the dark though, that balanced view is hard to come by, which is why you shouted. Wasn't the end of the world.

It's a lesson to us all. If we go on holiday to remote areas and walk a distance at night to a country pub or whatever, we MUST have the right clothing. It is our responsibility and as someone said upthread, it will always be the pedestrian who comes off worse in a collision, so we are absolute fools to walk around without the proper gear.

[Adeleh]

I agree, but I also don't think that what the OP said was all that bad in the circumstances. It's never nice to be called 'mad', but it was bloody stupid behaviour. And if the pedestrian learns from that, then it's a good thing. There's no evidence that the OP shouted or screamed. And 2 sentences hardly constitute a rant.

[winterkills]

Those defending this seem to be missing the part where the OP reversed on an unlit country road and then stopped in the road to shout at the pedestrian.

The idea that you can do something so insanely risky and then complain about someone else's 'dangerous' behaviour is utterly ludicrous.

[Adeleh]

Fair point. I wouldn't have reversed.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

LtEve's account of her accident emphasises an important point. The pedestrian/cyclist who is invisible in the dark, due to dark clothing/no lights, could cause an accident.

If you don't see the pedestrian/cyclist until you are almost upon them, you are going to have to make an emergency manoeuvre to avoid them, and that is far more risky than seeing them in good time to slow down and either go round them, or wait behind them until,it is safe to pass them (if there's traffic coming the other way, or you can't see round a bend, for example).

If you have to swerve to miss someone, you might end up skidding off the road, as LtEve did, or going into the path of another vehicle so they have to swerve - it could cause a serious accident.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Winterkills - I don't think people are defending what the OPdid, but they are agreeing that the pedestrian was should have been wearing something that would make her visible to drivers - for her own safety and for the safety of others on the road (see my previous post).

I do not condone what the OP did - but I think it is reckless and stupid to walk along at night, in clothes that make you invisible to drivers until it is almost too late.

[LessMissAbs]

Sauvignon People who live in the country are allowed to leave their homes

I do believe that some people are so wedded to their cars that they are actually stranded in their houses unless they have vehicular evacuation pre-arranged...

[diabolo]

Ridiculous. If you live in the countryside and go out for a walk in the dark, YOU TAKE A TORCH or at the very,very least, wear light coloured reflective clothing. It's just what we do in the country.

I wear a head torch and carry another one to shine behind me when walking the dog on winter evenings.

I can't quite believe the weird vitriol on this thread.

[LessMissAbs]

it was a passenger window and couldn't grab my keys

So the pedestrian was walking towards you, facing towards oncoming traffic. In other words, in a position which allowed her to take evasive action should someone be likely to hit her.

If she was in a situation which didn't allow her to prepare by taking lights and hi-vix, what exactly is wrong with that?

[Almostfifty]

I live on a side road where it is very hard to see anything when driving because of oncoming traffic coming along.

I frequently stop people who are walking along the road in dark clothing and tell them I can barely see them.

Normally they thank me and wear something hi vis or lighter from then on.

Surely most people must realise it's better to be safe than dead?