to not want to contribute to OHs fine?

[Objection]

Up until yesterday OH has been unemployed (for about 7 weeks). Aside from his £20 contribution into the joint a week, I've been footing all of the bills.
We both contribute into the joint equally on a weekly basis which covers everything (mortgage, food, internet, power etc) except our personal expenses (cars and phones). For the last 7 weeks I've been putting in double.
I have two jobs - one FT in an office mon-fri and one at weekends (7-7 sat and sun) in London as a Nanny - thus how I can currently afford double expenses.
I didn't mind supporting him whilst he found work.

Oh has been picking me up from the train station on Sunday nights as there are no buses. He drives me home (25 mins) and we get in about 10ish.

It's really helpful to me and he says he doesn't mind. I give him petrol money.

However I've just received this text:

Ive just been done for driving in a bus lane last sunday at 21:21! I dont mean to be funny do you mind going half on it?

He's not replying to my texts back but I get the impression that because the trip was to pick me up, he thinks the fine is half mine.
I understand that money is tight for him (because of the above) but I don't really want to pay for his mistake.

AIBU and a complete bitch?

(I haven't spoken to him directly yet as on a train so the signal is bad and also wanted to figure out if I'd be unreasonable to say no)

For me it would depend why he's asking. If he has in his head that the fine is half yours, tell him to sod off. He didn't have to drive in the bus lane and what you've been doing for him recently far outweighs the fact that he picks you up from the station.

However, if he's asking a favour of you because he's struggling and knows he can't afford to pay the full thing, help him.

What texts did you send that he's not replying to?

Bloodyteenagers did you not read the OP, it says OH got a job yesterday.

Surely you'd just pay it as a couple? He picks you up as no public tansport so doesnt sound selfish.

Always amazes me that the responses vary so much re men and women, if a man had posted to say his wife wasnt earning and he wouldnt pay her fine he would get called selfish and she would be told to LTB. If a women posts, its fine as why should she pay for him

Sorry, I haven't read any replies yet. I've just got off the tube.
I spoke to him and he definitely think it's half my responsibility as it was to come and pick me up. I said I was happy to pay it of he was short of the money but didn't want to assume half responsibility as I didn't think that was right. He disagreed, told me not to bother paying but he's no longer picking me up from that train station as he "always say I hate driving there". The other train station is equidistant to our house but would mean i have to buy a single for one way and a single for the other as i work next to the 1st train station so have to leave from there. so it would cost twice as much

Send the tight fucker a bill for everything you've paid for for the last 7 weeks. Then bin him.

helpful and measured

She pays him petrol money Happymummyofone. And she is working to support both of them. He didn't have to drive in a way that incurred a fine.

X posts. Stop subsidising him then. In any way.

He's going to stop giving you a lift? Get him to cough up his half of the bills for the last 7 weeks.

Ah - as I thought, he's a tight cunt. LTB. Honestly - you've supported him for 7 weeks and he's throwing his toys out of the pram because you won't pay half his fine?

Yuck

He is being a petty twat. Ask him for his back dated contribution for the last 7 weeks. And make sure you get it!

Well, he's sort of shown his true colours a bit there then. He makes a mistake but because it's whilst doing you a favour he thinks it's half your responsibilty? and because you don't see it that way he's going to withdraw his lift?
fair enough if he admitted messing up using the bus lane and wanted help with the fine but putting it on you is a bit mean especially when you've been topping up the pot so to speak. I realize a relationship shouldn't be tit for tat but but the lift shouldn't be conditional, surely he should want to support you if you've been doing more.

Do you have children together OP?

He got £80 a week I think, £20 went into the joint and the rest was his bills - car loan and costs, phone bill etc.

I don't think this has anything to do with the fact that I'm female and he's male; IMO the situation would be the same if reversed.

We have been living together for 3.5 years and have no children. The situation has always been adding up our expenses, dividing by two and putting that into the joint plus an extra £10 or so as a buffer.
So no, we don't pay for one another but pay 50/50 for everything; despite what the other is earning. I know there are people that won't agree with that but we're both happy with that arrangement. This may change when we get married and have kids.

I am more than happy to pay half as his income is low at the moment but would do it for financial reasons not because I am "to blame" for him not paying attention.

Most of the bus lanes in the city are 24/7.

Thank you for all the replies! It's good to get unbiased feedback

If you have no kids together then get rid of him.

You can bet if the situation was reversed, say you were on maternity and he was working, that he would not pay half and he would be scrutinising everything you spend.

Yanbu. You'd think he'd be reluctant to see you walk home in the dark. My DP travels home late, I know if I could drive I'd pick up my DP no questions asked, I worry like mad.

ok, so if he doesnt pay it because he cant afford it the fine will grow until it goes to court and he will incure court fines. Help in out and pay the fine. Even if its just as a loan

if you plan on having kids together, he will be a nightmare
as you do everything 50:50 and he is a tight arse, ask for your money from subbing him. he can pay it back in small amounts weekly!

"sure. i assume you'll be coming to work with me on Monday to go halves on my work ?"

He disagreed, told me not to bother paying but he's no longer picking me up from that train station as he "always say I hate driving there"

Tell him you hate having to work 7 days a week to support him and you're no longer going to do it.

He's just called me. Deeply apologetic. Asks if ill forgive him. I reiterated that i'm happy to pay half (or full, it's only £30 as it turns out) if he can't afford it but want it to be clear that it's his responsibility (can you feel my nanny side coming out? ) not mine as he was driving.
He says he's just paid it and it's fine, he wanted to make sure I was ok.
I'm still a bit especially because he's normally so reasonable!

Just a note; I choose to work the extra job. He doesn't chase me into it with a pointy stick

Very glad he's apologised. Appalling behaviour on his part.

"Married? Pay the fine.

'Just living together'? Pay the fine.

You are sharing your lives, home and bed. At the moment he is not able to contribute. At some point in the future that will probably be you, redundancy, SAHM etc etc etc

Pay the fine."

this , what nomama said.

You are sharing your lives, home and bed. At the moment he is not able to contribute. At some point in the future that will probably be you, redundancy, SAHM etc etc etc I assume that is a typo since being a SAHM in my book counts as a contribution.

A fine is supposed to be a punishment. It is supposed to teach the recipient something. I believe we have left the times of whipping boys and people paying others to go to jail for them. Haven't we?