To tell the photographer I'm disappointed?

[YellowYoYoMan]

I got newborn photos of my DS done by a professional photographer last week. I also wanted ones including toddler so she came along too. We got back the photos yesterday and there are some beautiful and very cute ones of DS. There is one lovely one of DD on her own. There are three of the two of them together, none of which I am particularly keen on. DD is very cute and charismatic and it doesn't come across at all in the photos.

WIBU to tell the photographer that I am disappointed about the lack of decent shots with DD? The reasons I think doing so might be U are

1. it was a newborn shoot so really DD was just along for the ride.
2. the photographer was lovely and obviously did her best and I guess it's not her fault the shots didn't come off.
3. DD is only 15 months so getting her to follow directions was almost impossible (although she was very well behaved) and DS was a slightly older newborn, past the sleepy stage which is best for these photos.
4. There is nothing the photographer can do about it now!

Despite the above, I feel sort of compelled to tell the photographer that, although I am delighted with the ones of DS, I am disappointed by the ones with he and DD. I know there's nothing she can do now, but I sort of feel that as I'm paying for a service and will be buying photos from her as this was my "chance" at newborn and toddler photos and I can't afford to have them redone, I should tell her that I'm not totally satisfied. Ordinarily I would just pretend I love them all to save embarrassment, but I think that might be the wrong attitude?!

So WIBU to tell the photographer I'm not happy with the images of them together?

I realise this isn't really an important problem. Also I have NCed as I think this situation might make me identifiable to friends and the photographer concerned.

I imagine the photographer took more photos than just the ones she sent you; so it might be worth asking her if you could have a look at the other photos as well in case there's a photo of DD which captures her personality better, but which the photographer had decided against sending you for some reason.

I personally prefer natural photos so I would suggest you invest instead in a decent camera for a lifetime of free photos.

I always find myself really impressed if I pop into a Max Speilman type place at the spur of the moment and have them take a few shots.
Cheap and cheerful too.

I think you can phrase it constructively - especially since you liked the newborn photos.

I think you should tell her in a feedback type way.

Out of interest did you tell the photographer in advance that you wanted some of the newborn and toddler?

I would provide feedback - but be prepared that she may not have any other photos - if she only took a few (as is likely as it was not a family session you booked) then she has probably provided you the best ones already.

I think you are actually lucky to get any photos of a very young toddler and a newborn. I have worked as a photographer and sibling groups with those ages are extremely difficult, it is not safe to have a toddler who can't follow instructions holding a newborn and there is only a limited about of positions you can put a not sitting/can't hold it's own head up newborn.

The photographer should have explained that her options for sibling shots were limited but I don't think it is worth complaining. You will have lots of opportunities to get lovely sibling photos as your dc grow up.

I would agree that she's probably already given us the best ones. So that does make me think there's probably no point in mentioning it. If I did I wouldn't want it to come across like a complaint - that seems too strong - I'd want to phrase it more like an observation and see what she says. Something like, it's a shame there isn't more choice in the ones with DD, I suppose it was difficult to get them both doing the "right" thing at the right moment.

I did ask in advance if DD could be photographed too and told her age and this was fine. On the photographers website she has quite a few with toddlers and newborns. To be clear, DD wasn't holding DS and it was all very safe!

Thank you for the replies.

YANBU. I'm a photographer, and if someone supposedly specialises in children and babies, then they should have the skills to get decent shots. No of course you can't "pose" the like older children or adults, but a skilled photographer should have a bag of tricks, including whistles, bells, fun music, toys, cuddly stuffed animals, lights etc. Photographers are not only technicians, but are supposed to, as much as possible, capture a personality, a moment, a little person.

I definitely would give feedback in a constructive manner. If she's a professional she should take it on board. Who knows, she may even offer another session.

Another poster has suggested that you get a camera and start shooting yourself, and I'd like to encourage that. Get a decent camera (like, spend some money on this) - plan to use it for at least eight years and consider it a great investment. Spend some time learning about setting up shots and about the camera you have - photography is SO much easier now with high-quality digital cameras. Good luck

DD is very cute and charismatic.

Hmmm. You are "disappointed" because the photographer has not captured the "charisma" of a 15 month old?

I think the getting a camera suggestion and not being too het up about capturing the "charisma" of a baby would be a good idea. I always think the professional posed baby photos are pretty cringy actually.

I'd just put it down to experience and get a decent camera and take my own.

The best photo I've got of dd1 is where she's about 2 weeks old, laid back on our huge duvet all curled up. I took it at about 3am when I'd just changed her sick covered clothes. She looked so comfy and cute. Loads of people asked where I got it taken as its a lovely picture.

Most of the really good photos of the DCs we have are natural shots of normal life. The professional ones while nice, look staged (which they are).

I don't know, Id be unhappy to pay proffesional prices for iffy photos, but getting two DCs of any age to lose nicely in the same picture is IME very difficult.

The best baby pictures of DD1, were a total spur if the moment job when they had a young woman doing them in Boots.

I was only going to get the very cheap promotional one and enderd up buying the lot, including a very silly one in a flower pot.

It's shear luck, DD was about 6 months old and just liked the photographer and was bubbly and wide awake.

The only other time I trid anything lime that she had just woken up and the photo wasn't worth buying.

Pose nicely.

They are 13&16 and they still don't. (DD2 is an absolute natural model and DD1 is really self conscious. Weird because in day today life it's totally the other way round).

DD is very cute and charismatic

I nearly died laughing when I read this.

YANBU if you simply don't like the photos.

YABVVU and completely ridiculous if you think your child's "charisma" at such a special level that a photographer should be able to capture it.

ah ok - she did know in advance - in that case if she sells herself as a family photographer i would simply provide teh feedback - not in a form of complaint and see what she says.

i know that if a client said that to me I would offer a mini shoot to try and get the shot of the 2 of them together

Sorry, I too am snorting at yhe moan that the photographer didn't capture how 'charasmatic' your 15 month old is.

Bottom line is that if you are being charged for a service you are genuinely unhappy about, then your disappointment should be mentioned.

I bet this is costing quite a bit OP?

If the photographer is worth her salt she'll politely ask if you can come to an arrangement to rectify the disappointment. At the same time if she's experienced enough to know she's not at fault then she'll put it behind her once you've left ... if she's inexperienced she might learn from your concerns.

I also agree with PPs about getting your own decent camera.
I've taken some beautiful photos of DS with a £300 Nikon.
It's more relaxed at home for your baby and you have less time restraints and cane work round when they're happy or well fed etc.
I get the best ones put onto canvas' for around a tenner off eBay!

you don't say the photos of them together or awful just that they don't capture your daughters personality I think some of this will be down to her age we went with my little boy and my cousins little girl honestly she tried for ages but my cousins little one wouldn't follow directions was sulking and it was hard work she tried toys , distraction ECT in the end there was a couple of decent one now the following year we went and she was posing up a storm. I do think it's just a difficult age. You could certainly ask her if you could see any more shots she has of them together as perhaps you will prefer another one.

Zombie thread!