Who's right - DP or school?

[mouse26]

Went to collect ds2 (5) from school today, all the children have left but no sign of ds. Asked where he is - he'd gone to one of the after school clubs.

He had been talking about this club and told us he was doing it during the day, not after school. Teacher says we've signed a letter saying he could do it but we know we haven't even seen a letter about it so definitely haven't signed anything. He's somehow convinced them that he is supposed to be in the club though, they offered to fetch him out but we said it was fine, we'd bring in the money for it tomorrow, and off we go home.

DP goes to fetch ds when the clubs finished and is told that, actually, ds shouldn't have been there (obviously!), all the places are taken and he can't go next week.

I can see their point and actually do agree with them - they have limited spaces for a reason and ds2 really shouldn't have been in the club in the first place. BUT dp is not happy - He says they are being completely unreasonable and that since they made the mistake of allowing him to go in the first place they shouldn't now upset him by refusing to allow him to continue going.

So, if you were me - who would you agree with?

I think both your DH and school are BU. I wouldn't expect the club to make space for him, but I also wouldn't be paying for the club unless school can produce this letter you supposedly signed giving permission. It was school's screw-up, your DS is only 5 they know they can't take a 5 year old's word.

Tough, thinking about it again, you did have the option of removing him when you arrived so I guess you should pay. But I would be raising the point about the lack of signed permission from you anyway - it's a safety issue.

*Though not tough.

Erm, of course the school are failing! They shouldn't be releasing children, whether to a parent or after school club, unless they are absolutely sure they are being released to the correct person! And the after school club need to tighten up their procedures too, to ensure they have the right children (this goes for littleblackno and OP).

Imagine if there was a fire (or even just a drill). No one would know that your son was meant to be there so wouldn't know to look for him. Or if they did a head count, your son could be taking the place of another child, so they wouldn't know to look for them.

Or he could go to the toilet mid session and never return- and they wouldn't realise because he's not meant to be there either. Meanwhile he has slipped and hurt himself, or let himself out of the door, or just wandering round causing trouble.

Or imagine that your son convinced school that he was supposed to be going home with another parent, one that you don't know, and you turn up at school to find that he's not there?

If there isn't a space for DS at the club, and they can't make space because of regulations, then they shouldn't have kept him last night either.

pipbin - we weren't late collecting him

The club is run by the school, I think they note in the register who is going to the after school clubs

Noodle it's so that several months from now some argumentative sod can trawl through your posting history and adduce evidence of your alleged unreasonableness. It is encouraging me to try harder with my typing though

The school. The conversation about the letter was just a misunderstanding I'm sure. Sort of "If he's in a club then you'll have signed a letter saying he can join...". This is not really that important on the scale of things is it?

I think the school messed up (convinced by a 5yr old !!) but as others said I don't think they should have to find him a place now the misunderstanding is sorted as another child would have to be removed possibley(safety/ratios etc??)

I actually do think your DP is right in a way, letting him go to the first one because they were disorganized/unsure/easily convinced was silly especially when you were outside to ask - they should have stuck to their guns and said no rather than let him get a taste of it and raise his hopes.

But your Dp needs to understand the practical implications of what he's asking - some other child who played by the rules would lose out, now that would not be fair

Whether the club is run by the school or not, my point about needing to know where each child is stands. The person running the club should have a record of which children are supposed to be there. And the teacher should know which children are going to the club and which are going home with parents.

I doubt very much that he will be going to a club he's not signed up for in future anyway

Does your other half not get out much????