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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel a bit upset at nurse's comment

72 replies

almostheadgirl · 06/03/2014 22:01

It would be great to get your perspective on this as I admit I may have been over-sensitive.
Joined a new GP practice this week. The nurse did all the usual checks, BP, height, urine etc - then she asks me to pop on the scales. No problem...Now, I have been working hard at losing the baby weight, am finally very happy with my size and consider myself to be reasonably 'back to normal' (ish!). I'm almost 5ft 9 and weigh 10 stone. She looks at the scales and goes "Hmmmm, not bad."
I felt quite upset. I said to her, I am almost 5ft 9... and she just smiled. It just struck me as a bit insensitive. I don't think I'm in any way over weight?! Is it just me being sleep deprived and pathetic to feel a bit insulted by this?

OP posts:

Original poster

almostheadgirl · 06/03/2014 22:38

Ha PicaK, that made me smile!

OP posts:

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/03/2014 22:39

Sorry op, that read in a less jovial way than I intended it to

pyjamaramadrama · 06/03/2014 22:42

She won't have known you've been working at it and probably meant nothing other than it's not a bad weight.

For what it's worth I think 5"9 and 10 stone is fantastic, I'm 5"6 and 10 stone I wish I was lovely and tall like you.

littleducks · 06/03/2014 22:43

at my check the nurse looked surprised at the scales and said 'ooh mummy is heavy' to my kids

Twitches2 · 07/03/2014 11:44

Almostheadgirl - don't feel bad: I am six foot tall and weighed 12.5 stone - stood on scales with nurse, telling her I was steadily losing weight and, whilst I was within healthy weight range, my goal at Weightwatchers was 12 stone on the dot.

Her exact words were: "Well you don't want to go any lower than that, cause it'd look awful 'cause of your big joints"

TulipOHare · 07/03/2014 11:49

No, I get you OP, I'd have taken "not bad" the wrong way too, ie "could be better". I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, though, given that you are undeniably on the light side for your height.

BarbarianMum · 07/03/2014 11:53

Round my way, 'not bad' is used as an understated compliment. It confuses my SiL (from California) who is used to more direct and effusive praise.

FabBakerGirl · 07/03/2014 11:56

"Not bad" does insinuate that it isn't good though so I think you aren't being over sensitive. She could have said you have done well to lose the baby weight or just said nothing at all. Why she thinks she cares what you think......

BumWad · 07/03/2014 11:58

Stealth boast

Floggingmolly · 07/03/2014 12:00

"Not bad" is not quite ambiguous at all . Short of a round of applause and a brass band playing in the lobby on the way out; what exactly were you expecting?
It sounds to me that you're more insulted at her failure to pay due homage to your hard work in getting your weight down, than the fact that it was an insult per se.

OpalQuartz · 07/03/2014 12:04

She was probably on auto pilot and said it without really thinking. Probably says it to most people who aren't huge.

DeWe · 07/03/2014 12:14

My df (who does a lot of sport and is careful what he eats) came back put out from a colesterol test once. They'd looked at the result and said "not bad". He'd wanted the statement "For someone of your age that is amazing"

Latara · 07/03/2014 12:20

''Not bad'' is actually a compliment. It means ''good''.

FFS nurses can't say anything right. Maybe we should just all say nothing.

Topseyt · 07/03/2014 12:24

I really wish I could ever get down to 10 stone, and I am nowhere near your height.

Don't let it bother you. Some people are just not effusive with their praise, so maybe that was all it was. The phrase "praise from xx is praise indeed" could apply to her.

FryOneFatManic · 07/03/2014 12:52

FWIW, "Not bad" from me is the equivalent of "that's good". And "that's great" from me is like someone else going "wow, fantastic".

And I know I'm not the only one.

I nearly always understate something rather than overstate it like the American fashion for going "awesome" for something that's barely adequate

So I wouldn't get too upset about the comment. You did say she said it with a smile, so to me that means she was happy about it, not dismissive.

kilmuir · 07/03/2014 12:55

I am at least a stone overweight. Auxillary weighed me and tutted about less of those cream cakes might be a good idea. Told her it was a bit rich coming from her. She was as broad as she was tall!

crikeybill · 07/03/2014 13:11

Not bad with a smile is fine. Bloody hell what was she meant to say!

" well done you look amaaaaaizing you skinny mare you !! "

oh and....cough.....stealthboast....cough...

Pollyputthekettle · 07/03/2014 14:00

YABU and a bit daft. It's not as though she reeled back on horror and exclaimed "hey fatty boom boom!"

Gruntfuttock · 07/03/2014 14:04

kilmuir "I am at least a stone overweight. Auxillary weighed me and tutted about less of those cream cakes might be a good idea. Told her it was a bit rich coming from her. She was as broad as she was tall!"

What did she say to that, kilmuir?

innisglas · 07/03/2014 14:10

You are sleep deprived, poor thing. You are a new patient, she doesn't even know if you have weight issues. Actually you sound on the thin side, I hope you haven't overdone the dieting because that might be affecting how you feel too

RedFocus · 07/03/2014 14:20

I think you'll find that she probably thinks your heading for being underweight. As long as you are not intending to lose anymore you'll be fine.
Well done for losing the baby weight!

TheReluctantCountess · 07/03/2014 14:22

I agree that it's a stealth boast.

MostlyMama · 07/03/2014 14:39

I think you are nitpicking for something to find offence at tbh.

purplebaubles · 07/03/2014 14:41

I would say that's skinny for your height!

Probably jealous

higgle · 07/03/2014 14:41

Why did she not just ask your weight? Recently a locum GP at m practice asked me to step on the scales. I told him my weight and said I didn't appreciate being treated as if I couldn't be trusted.

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