I find my baby hard work in the evenings and wonder how I would cope with two dc?

[RedPencilPot]

Dc is 13 months and a v chilled out baby but he is a nightmare in the evenings. He cries and moans and no matter what I do to try and entertain him he isn't having any of it. I collect him from childminders at 4.30 and we have fun for about an hour and then from about 5.30 until bedtime at 7 he seems so aggravated. I know it's tiredness because the second I put him in his cot he falls straight asleep.

I find the evenings with him v hard going and my dh works in the evenings so I have no help.

I wonder how I would cope of there were 2 dc, we are trying! Obviously I know the v small person stage will pass.

Do other people find the evenings tough or is it me?

My 2.5-year-old DS has never gone to bed earlier than 7pm. I guess every baby is different, though. Saying that. he's never woke earlier than 7am, either. 6am wake-ups would kill me! We put him down between 7 and 7.30pm, but it was always 7pm as a baby and young toddler.

I also think he's overtired and needs to nap. My 2.5-year-old still has a two-hour nap in the afternoons, and started with one long nap at the same age as your child. At that age it was 1pm, so right after lunch.

9 months is a long time in a small child's life. Even if you got pregnant tomorrow, your baby will change a huge amount by the time the new baby comes along.

I agree you would be best to let him go to bed earlier. My two are often in bed asleep at 6.30 during the week and they are 3 and 6! They are up early though (6.30am) so I work on the assumption they need at least 12hrs.

I would also ask the childminder about when he's napping. She might be able to shift things around for you and make it easier for him to stay up until 7.

I wouldn't worry about managing with 2. By the time you get through a pregnancy he'll be much older and will have changed considerably.

Yep earlier bedtime needed.

My 14 month old is the same so I chuck him in the bath at 5.45 for a long splash about which stops the moaning, then in bed by 6.30pm. bliss

At 13 months my DS was still on 3 naps a day! Dropped to 2 by 16 months then by 18 months was on one long nap (2hrs minimum) and still is. I like him to go up to bed at 645pm and usually asleep by 715pm. It's hard now because DH is getting home later and wants him to stay up a bit later, but the longer DS is up the harder it is to get him off to sleep.

I couldn't ever do a 6pm bedtime as we aren't home until 6.30pm most days from work/ childcare. We have always had a late bedtime like mentioned ie 8/9pm and just add naps in day. Luckily they don't have to wake early as dh always works from home in the am.

What time do you have to all leave in the am? I think as long as he is getting 12-14 hours sleep a day, it doesn't matter how much is in day and how much at night. Take to childminder and see where naps could fit in. Ie does she have to pick older children up from school in afternoon, if so could she walk there and he sleep in pram, can he nap after lunch? Does she have a quiet room were he can nap in a cot in peace?

If he's grumpy in the evening it's probably not the most quality time you have with him so I agree with the chorus of "put him to bed earlier"!

To answer your question, I've found evenings/bedtimes the hardest with two (3yo and 4mo) but as DC1 likes to have a bath with the baby his bedtime has been brought forward so they're both in bed and (usually) asleep by 7. That's definitely made things more manageable. So YANBU to wonder how you'll cope, but you will!

Just re read and see you collect him at 4.30pm. Can you try and encourage him to nap in pram or car 4.30-5ish? That half hour nap should refresh him enough to not be so miserable, and by 7 /7.30 he will still be tired

Gosh they are all different aren't they. My 2.5 year old rarely drops off until 8pm and generally wakes about 6:30am. Sometimes has 45 minutes during the day, sometimes not. I would say in your case op it might be worth trying to put him to bed earlier. And don't let this stop you having another - he may be very different in 9 months and who knows how dc2 might be.

Ah ,didn't read he wasn't having naps. He should still be having naps at that age ,sons 3 and still has a 2 hour nap in the afternoon (he does go to bed nearer 8 ,so slightly later ). Try a nap for him ,even if it's a half hour one as soon as you get home. My friend thought her son had cut out his nap at 2 and then wondered why for a year afterwards he was constantly idle ,screamy etc... She's only just realised that he wasn't ready to out he was resisting it so she just gave up trying. He's a completely different boy and so well natured now that he's getting the right amount of sleep.

I'd agree it's worth trying an earlier bedtime even if it's just 6.30 instead of 7. Give it a go and see how it goes and if that helps. As much as its nice to see them after work, it's not fun if they've really tired and grumpy.

All children are different in how much sleep they need though. Mine never slept past 5.30-6am at that age after going to sleep at 7pm. He's consistently slept 10 1/2 hrs at night from age 2, just dropped the daytime naps by 3.