To be feeling a bit fed up with this

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My MIL, whom I normally get on well with, has taken issue with our second child's name , if she is a girl (due later this month.)

She doesn't like the spelling of it, but we are planning to use it as a shortened form of a different name and therefore wouldn't make sense the way MIL 'wants' it. Plus I just don't like it 'her way'! We've explained this but she's so insistent and to be fair it's so unlike her that DH asked me if I'd reconsider.

I love the name so am upset but on the other hand I don't know, a name doesn't seem to be worth genuinely upsetting someone ... Thoughts?

You know we can't judge unless you tell us?

Talk to her know, say that you are sorry she doesn't like it, but this is going to be your DDs name, and its your choice, and not actually up for discussion, you'd perfer if opinions on the name aren't mentioned again. If when your DD arrives she spells it her way, look her in the eye and ask if she's trying to upset you because given all the upset she caused when you were pregnant, she knows its not spelt this way, and that if she spells it wrong again, you'll take it as an insult, and it would be terrible to fall out over this...

She's being difficult, don't give in to difficult.

Oh dear! time to pack granny off somewhere far far away so she can't interfere. Its your child and when it comes to making decisions about your child you out rank everyone, give your child the name you want and if in years to come your child really hates it then get it changed by deed poll.

How much do you like the name? Do you really love it?

If you chose a different name / spelling just to please your MIL (or any other relative for that matter), do you think you'd regret it?

Those are the important questions. Not whether your MIL likes the name.

At the end of the day, this is your baby. Not your MIL's baby. And as such, your opinion - and your DH's opinion - about the name outranks everyone else's opinion. And as such, it's perfectly reasonable for you to ignore relative's opinions and call your baby whatever you want.

I never understood why my friend refused to discuss their name choices before birth. I thought it was a superstition or something. Now I understand.

Yanbu, your mil is. Not her baby, not her say.