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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want visitors?

12 replies

YesAnastasia · 06/03/2014 15:02

I don't really like it, especially in the evening or at tea time.

It's ok to have one visitor per week, one that lasts for an hour at most and that's it.

I have a friend who I know is going to come over with her DC tonight. She hasn't said she will so I can't tell her I'm busy or whatever but she'll turn up & expect to come in & have the DC play for hours.

I CBA. I have a cold & I'm tired & I don't want to have to tidy ALL THE TOYS in the house away before an evening of bed time, washing, cleaning and bed.

OP posts:
SometimesLonely · 06/03/2014 15:05

Why don't you ring and suggest another day / evening because ?

chattychattyboomba · 06/03/2014 15:08

Be out. If she says 'where were you?' Say 'oh sorry! Call next time before popping in' Or better yet tell her you and the kids are unwell...best not come round for a few days to avoid them catching it?

Burren · 06/03/2014 15:08

Don't answer the door? I wouldn't dream of dropping in on someone unannounced, and especially not mid-week when young children, mealtimes, homework, chores etc are involved. And certainly not at any time 'for hours'.

Someone ringing my doorbell without advance notice is alerting me to their presence - it's not a demand for me to open it, or at least not one I feel compelled to obey. Don't answer the door, or if you do, just say 'How nice to see you, afraid I can't ask you in, we're up to our eyes with dinner/homework/violin practice'.

(How do you know she's coming, though, if she hasn't said?)

YouTheCat · 06/03/2014 15:09

Is she just going to turn up without calling/texting? How rude.

She can expect all she likes. It doesn't mean you have to let her in or even give an excuse.

MostlyMama · 06/03/2014 15:15

Don't answer the door, you aren't obliged to cater to her whims.

dustarr73 · 06/03/2014 16:06

I hate this as well but im an unsociable sod at the best of times.Grin
I dont understand people whojust pop in for hours at a time do they not see you trying to do dinner and homework and shit.
I had to practically throw my aunt one day,we wanted to eat dinner and she wouldnt move.I had to open the door and tell her to leave.
She was a bit pissed off to say the least.Didnt do it again though.

YesAnastasia · 06/03/2014 16:25

I can't pretend I'm not in, she comes to the window. It's too early to close the curtains.

It's not because I don't like her or her DC, I do.

She's a friend-in-my-pocket kind of person & doesn't seem to like being on her own with her DC - that's fine - but I do. Very much. I have my routine & it keeps everything calm.

I'm always turning her down for 'playdates' and I feel a bit embarrassed by it. She says her DC miss mine (they miss my DC's toys you mean, they're only young) as a manipulation thing & it bugs me.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 06/03/2014 16:29

It is never too early to close the curtains.

That is even more rude if she's nebbing in your windows to see if you're in.

Puttheshelvesup · 06/03/2014 16:45

Tell her it's not a good time. You don't even have to give a reason. Don't take on the responsibility of entertaining her and her dc just because she would rather not entertain herself.

YesAnastasia · 06/03/2014 17:39

Well, she didn't come. I'm such a bitch.

OP posts:
TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 06/03/2014 18:10

Nah, once bitten twice shy.

LEMmingaround · 06/03/2014 18:13

Result :) oh and yanbu

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