To think that you shouldn't be peeling your DH's oranges for him?

[Lighthousekeeping]

I share a house, that's London for you.

I've just come home to find my housemates wife lovingly preparing a fruit plate for him. Including glacier cherries on top. I'm sure most people would think this is lovely but I'm bleeding sick of it. Every night when he gets in from work she's peeling his oranges and chopping up his grapes whilst he lies on the bed watching cricket. I tell myself it's because she's not working and once she gets a job she won't have time to fanny on but I really want to wade in and tell her to shove his fruit up his arse.

They are a lovely couple other than that although it would be nice if she ran a vacum cleaner through the house occasionally

If she's not working and he's financially supporting her, it seems a bit inaccurate to say that he does fuck all and she does everything for him.

It's nice to see people doing nice things for each other.

No idea. Why don't either of them do the housework. Because I pay for the cleaner. That's why. My own stupid fault but she's my treat to myself my mother would kill me

WooWoo I've already stated that he goes to work and that's why she does it,

AHA!
The root of the issue
Can you get the cleaner to cut you a bowl of fresh fruit before she goes, and sabotage the cricket channel on the remote in favour of something you like?

Gawd I'm supposed to be a feminist and assumed cleaner was a she!

That's socialisation for you I guess.

No, she does fuck all except chop fruit - when a little movement with the vacuum would be a little bit more useful. However, even if she gets a job she will probably still chop his fruit and he will watch cricket and you might meet someone who happens to cut their toenails on Tuesdays when you go to Pilates. But you'll only discover that after you've been dating/mostly living together for 18 months and 'drop in' after 'Shelley (Pilates)' cancels last minute.

oooh ooohooooh ooh

oooooohhhhhhhhhh

OP

Have you seen the Comic Strip Presents - STRIKE!

???

Jennifer saunders playing meryl streep and all the time she has to be peeling an orange to add DEPTH to the character

There is a load of funny stuff around her peeling oranges as meryl streep playing a miners wife. Is brilliant.

Peter Richardson as Al Pacino as Arthus Scargill says "If she's going to be peeling an orange I'm going to be loading a gun!!!".

Honestly sounds random is fab.

Get it downloaded / on video, whatevs. Do film night dubbed "great british comedy". Watch it

With them obv. Watch them out of the corner of your eye. There are oranges everywhere. In a piss-takey way.

I remember the original

Seriously. They have their own telly and sky it doesn't bother me the cricket. When he texts from his room to ask me for coffee I do think wtf? But, if I'm making one anyway I don't mind although I do tell him he's a spoilt brat. Her day goes like this, gets up at 11 makes tea and toast, gets her incrediants out, watches telly, starts cooking, jumps in the shower before he comes home and then gets on with chopping his fruit. Every single day. You see, I'm used to having my days off on my own so it's somewhat grating on me!

And there's me thinking Oranges Are The Only Fruit!! Full circle pisstake of the stereotype Independent Female=Lesbian, Please tell me that someone else remembers "Oranges" as one of the first mainstream BBC 'Lesbian' plays? If only the children of today got the benefit of 'Play for Today' - wierdy, wierdy, so completely.

Thanks tabard - I'm sure French&Saunders got the 'oranges' irony even if Pacino didn't.

Does she simper, OP? Or is she strong with her orange-based love?

Wow she must be bored as fuck.

Let them get on with it.

STOP making him fucking coffee when he texts you (what on EARTH???)

DO instigate Great British Comedy Night. Start with 5 go mad (no-one can argue with that) then BOSH oranges a-go-go and you can sit there trying not to LOL

Do It you know you want to

I work with someone whose wife peels the clementines for his lunchbox. All because he complained his hands got messy and orangey when he did them himself!

Oh LORD did I totally not understand the meryl orange point?

I was only 13 when I saw it though...

Although to be fair I wouldn't have got it now either

Still. People peeling oranges = relevant to OP right?

OP you could do total subvert

Introduce her to charity work, maybe in a fruit cutting related role?
Introduce her to the traditional bored woman at home hobbies AKA drink / valium / shagging the milkman / worse???
Introduce her to all the people you know who are a bit alternative so she would as soon dig an impromptu tattoo with a fruit knife as feel a grape?
Remind her that museums etc in London are FREE my god you live in Archway it's a stones throw into town hasn't she got anything better to do?
Organised religion / politics?

You will find a way... Could be fun

The trouble is, if I take to town it will inevitably end up with me taking her to bar. That won't be good as she doesn't drink and will make me look like a lush. I have told her about the museums and I have a card for the V and A. I should make more effort with her, it's true.

No no no! Not your effort to make! She is house-share, she has husband! You are making her sound like a 1950s wife or one bought from abroad or something (???)

I meant, say "oh you can do this" spend a little time saying whatever she would like, encourage her to go and look into it & sit back & watch

I don't get why she's not working, but can get that if she isn't and doesn't have whatever resources (knowing locality, poeple to meet etc etc) then maybe she is just most comfortable being at home cooking from 1 every day and peeling fruit.

He sounds like a dick BTW. Is he a dick? Is he from London? What about her?

Doesn't she go out while he's at work? It doesn't sound like much of a life for her! But hey if she's happy, let her feed him fruit to her hearts content. I think i would get irritated by it too though, purely out of frustration that she doesn't do more with her time!

Neither of them are but he was educated here. She can't work because her visa isn't through yet. TBH I feel like I've been played abit. He said she was coming here and would get a job "in the city" I assumed it would be straight away. Six months later it's still not happening. I'm sure she can't be happy with the situation either.

She gets up at 11 and starts cooking at 1.

He gets in at prob some time after 5.30.

That's 4.5 hours cooking every day.

I'd be expecting more than a peeled orange with a cherry on top.

I'd be wanting hand-culled organic penguin with a unicorn bechemel sauce, served in hand-carved ice platters and served by the most attractive man currently alive on earth.

You see, the gym memberships and just going for a coffee would all cone from his wallet even though he's told me countless tines both families are loaded

What is a job "in the city" when it's at home?

That is terribly vague.

I hope you haven't subbed them rent.

Stop making him coffee.

Be nice to her she needs to get out more! (If you can be arsed)

Where is she from? Loads of stuff for expat groups esp around N London.

Tell me I won't set you wrong

A job "in the city" I'm assuming is something where she will work all the hours god sends for a reasonable salary. Whereas he works at the top of our street and falls out of bed ten minutes before he needs to be there. I'm paying more rent than I've ever done before. Not subbing them exactly but I seem to be poorer. I think she's like a caged bird tbh. I just don't get it. If their families are so wealthy why didn't her parents give her money to come over with? I don't like to ask.

moreisnnogeday what is wrong with wearing a pinny? Is there a new law saying you can't protect your clothes in the kitchen, and be a feminist at the same time??