And selfish about my friend?

[montgomerymadison]

We are a group of friends from school and we have drifted apart, out of 6 of them I would only consider 3 of them friends I make effort with and see regularly. As a whole group we rarely meet up (once every 4/5 months)

I have another group of friends that I've known 3/4 years and they are so completely different to my other friends.

One of the school friends seems to moan quite a lot that I go on nights out with said group of friends and how she wants to meet them do she can be invited to the nights out etc

From my point of view (which could potentially be very selfish) I don't want to mix the group of friends and would rather keep the two seperate. Aibu?

Yabu and insecure.

Thanks.

I don't have a specific reason of why I like to keep the two separate. I suppose just both groups are so different and I would do different things with them.

Group 1 - dinners out and visiting each others houses for tea etc

Group 2 - crazy nights out, day drinking etc

It's refreshing to be able to do different things, and if I did introduce her I would feel like I was babysitting and I feel forced into it.

I would have to disagree with the "insecure"comment, unless you would like to elaborate?

YNBU. She sounds very demanding. Asking once or twice is ok but if she’s continually pushing for an invite then that’s unreasonable behaviour on her part and I would find such pushiness really off-putting. If her complaint is that your friendship group only meets up 2 or 3 times a year then why don’t you suggest that she takes the initiative and arranges some more meet ups? Of course, if she simply wants some more friends there’s nothing stopping her from putting in the effort to meet some rather than simply attempting to commandeer yours.

I don't have any friends that I'd be reluctant to introduce to other friends - it frequently happens that a friend suggests coming over when I have someone else here and wouldn't think not to ask them to come along too but maybe my friends are all more similar?

don't do it.

I like to keep my friends separate too. They are all long standing friendships and the dynamics change totally if others are introduced.

You can't just consider your own feelings on this either. I wouldn't be happy if my friends kept bringing another of their friends to meet ups. Your friends might not like it either.

Can you arrange to meet up more regularly with this woman on her own - perhaps shopping or something if she is one of the 3 that you like

I don't deliberately keep my different groups of friends apart, it's just that there's no reason for any of them to mix with each other in the first place - the times that we socialise are totally separate. The only occasion it would happen, would be a big party or some other significant event.

This is an excellent point : "You can't just consider your own feelings on this either. I wouldn't be happy if my friends kept bringing another of their friends to meet ups. Your friends might not like it either."