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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that DS1's teacher is being U?

45 replies

RagamuffinAndFidget · 04/03/2014 14:13

This is SO boring, sorry, but I'm really not sure if SIBU, or if I am..

DS1 is in Reception. Since starting school he has had three pairs of regulation PE shorts (£8 a pair) and has lost them all. They are named but haven't been returned to the school or shown up in the lost property box. I have now become so fed up with the magically disappearing PE shorts that I have sent him in with a pair of school shorts (as in, the normal uniform ones, rather than PE ones) to put in his PE bag. I told him that until he learns to look after his PE kit and keep it all safe he will be wearing the school shorts. He's now had the school shorts in his bag for about five weeks, including half term.

Yesterday, at pick-up, his teacher pulled me to one side and said "I've checked with the school office and they don't have a record of your order for new shorts..", which isn't exactly surprising as I haven't placed one! I told her this and she said, "OH. WELL. [DS1] needs PE shorts as he's been borrowing shorts from lost property." I asked her why, as he has the school shorts in his bag (we see his PE bag every week so I know they're still in there) and she said that because they're not 'short shorts' (they're just above knee length) he 'can't move properly in them'. Now, either she's being remarkably precious or he's having her on because we're talking about a child who climbed four metres up a tree in roughly six seconds while wearing thick jeans, a wax jacket and snow boots here! I told her that I wasn't willing to buy yet another pair of shorts (I've already spent £24 in less than one school year and can't really afford to spend any more!) and she started talking very loudly about how unfair it was on DS1 to have to keep borrowing shorts from lost property, and that he can't possibly take part in PE properly wearing the shorts I've given him. I was actually quite embarrassed at this point because all the other parents could hear the conversation so I just made some vague, non-committal noises, took DS1 and left.

Sorry, this is really really boring isn't it?! Basically - AIBU for having sent in the 'wrong' shorts, WouldIBU to leave them in his PE bag, and WasSBU for talking to me like that?

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 04/03/2014 17:42

The bit that would upset me the most is that she went to the office to check if you had ordered more shorts - that sounds a bit passive aggressive and intrusive to me.

She was just checking whether they had been ordered before speaking to the parent. If the office had said, yes they've been ordered, the teacher would not have needed to mention anything to OP. No point in raising issues if they are being dealt with.

OP buy the cheap pe shorts.

RandomMess · 04/03/2014 17:47

One of the parents in our class sent notes home with every child asking the parents to check carefully at home and in PE kits for missing NAMED items as her son was missing 3 school jumpers.

The amnesty saw rather a lot of items being handed in.

Worth a try?

starfishmummy · 04/03/2014 17:50

Buy a new pair and embroidery his name in big letters on the front. Then other children are less likely to steal themtake them by mistake.

Nomama · 04/03/2014 18:14

In FE and we hold an amnesty every now and then. We put a box out in front of our office and ask for anything that has been taken in error.

I got 2 flipcams back last year. One girl got a jumper back that her nan had knitted (the girl who took it was mortified when she realised it was in her bedroom but too scared to hand it over, original owner was feisty).

It is worth asking. But PE teacher was U for raising her voice and not being more helpful. She could have seen how many you had ordered and offered a solution!

SouthernComforts · 04/03/2014 18:40

God, how precious are schools these days? We're talking about 4-5 year olds here right? Not Olympic athletes?

breatheslowly · 04/03/2014 18:40

The office should be able to confirm that you have previously ordered 3 pairs of shorts. I'd suggest that the teacher ask the office to confirm this if she is of the belief that shorts always end up back with the owner.

Fairenuff · 04/03/2014 18:49

Not Olympic athletes, no, just school children who require the correct kit for school. Doesn't have to be expensive Olympic clothes, just Tesco shorts will do.

Nanny0gg · 04/03/2014 18:52

Have you actually been in about the missing shorts before?

Because I would certainly have mentioned it and asked for help for your son to look after them.

I think he's young to be 'taught a lesson' about it.

Hassled · 04/03/2014 19:02

Logo'd expensive school uniform drives me insane and I am waging a bit of a personal war against it.

The Local Government Association’s advice is that uniform items should all be available from a minimum of two different suppliers, not counting the school itself, school symbols and logos should be available as sew-on patches and parents should be given opportunities to buy and sell second hand uniform from other parents. It sounds like you have the opportunity to buy second-hand uniform at least, which is good - but this expectation that parents can afford to buy logo'd items when it is completely unnecessary makes me livid.

Original poster

RagamuffinAndFidget · 04/03/2014 19:07

But Tesco shorts won't do faire because they have to be regulation ones. And I'm just not buying any more this year. The non-regulation ones are the same material, same colour.. just not logo-ed and slightly longer.

I have spoken to his teacher several times, and I sent a note when I gave him the 'wrong' shorts to take in. She knows how many pairs we've had but makes me feel like she doesn't believe me because she reckons lost items always turn up, and that she's looked in every other child's PE bag and DS1's shorts weren't in any of them.

Nanny - I was being a little TIC about 'teaching him a lesson'. I just said to him that his shorts won't have the school picture on any more because he's lost too many pairs, and he can't have a new pair with the school picture on until he shows me that he can look after them. He has said before that the classroom gets very messy after PE and that 'some children' (he'll be including himself in that!) just throw their clothes around when they take them off.. so I've told him to stop doing that and just put things away in his bag as he gets changed. Seems to have been working so far..

OP posts:

SometimesLonely · 04/03/2014 19:09

I don't think a youngster of that age would be embarrassed about what clothes he wears because he wouldn't notice the difference really.

I won a scholarship to a grammar school and, among other uniform items, my parents bought me a school uniform gabardine raincoat when I was 12. I was still wearing it when I was 17. By this time, it was at least 9 inches shorter than my skirt. I wasn't embarrassed because I knew there was no point in asking for a new one because my parents could not afford it. Take the advice of mumsnetters above and either buy cheapos (because he will grow out of them anyway) or raid the Lost Property cupboard. Good luck.

PS When I finished school, I'd lost one hockey sock.

WooWooOwl · 04/03/2014 19:16

If the school won't let your ds wear the shorts you are sending in then it will be horrible for him and a pain in the arse for the staff every PE session if you don't just give him the right kit.

I think it would be fair to make a stand about not buying them from the school and letting him wear a cheaper version, but I don't think it's fair on your son for you not to provide him with the correct uniform.

Practice the getting changed routing at home, including putting all his things in his bag.

He is right that the classroom is likely to get very messy at changing time, but by this stage in the year it will be much better than it was before Christmas.

Fairenuff · 04/03/2014 19:18

If the only significant difference in the shorts is the length, why don't you shorten them?

TickerSpecs · 04/03/2014 19:46

Get him some new ones but then write in marker pen directly on the shorts his name in big letters, then at least they can't be taken and a label be taken out and they'll be easy to find if they end up in lost property.

SouthernComforts · 04/03/2014 20:04

They have to have the school logo on farie. Tis the law

Fairenuff · 04/03/2014 20:05

But you've already said that you won't buy any more school ones, so shortening the other pair is the only option surely?

Fairenuff · 04/03/2014 20:06

Ooops, sorry I thought that was the OP responding to me then.

MrsKent · 04/03/2014 20:24

I would ask the teacher to distribute a letter to all parents asking to please check labels to confirm children have own trousers. It has been done many times in my children's class.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 04/03/2014 20:32

Is it a private school?

rideyourbike · 04/03/2014 20:38

I don't think you r being unreasonable at all, but why not ask to look thru lost property and take another pair from there? If they are regulation then they will all be the same!

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