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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asking for unreasonable amount towards a tree.

168 replies

fingerlicking · 04/03/2014 08:19

I have a long garden that attaches to a garden at the bottom from a house 5 doors awa, but split by a thick hedge. The majority of my garden runs along side my direct neighbours house, but our garden and the garden of the house 5 doors away are long and 'kind of' circle the 4 houses' gardens inbetween.

My dh and I were clearing old trees and bushes from our garden as it was really shabby. We topped a number of large evergreens and removed 4 pine large trees and cut back shrubs etc.

There was a 6 foot tree in the middle of the thick hedge at the bottom of the garden that was bent over and collapsing. My dh cut out the tree.

The neighbours 5 doors away were hysterical. They moved to the house about 6 months ago. The woman came over crying because we had removed all the trees and topped others. It has opened up her view to houses, where as before her view was of green trees.

All the evergreen trees were in our garden and we were well in our right to remove them. However, the 6 foot tree in the middle of the hedge she claims was her tree and it was an 'arch' not bent from collapsing.

We apologised (even though we didn't think it was 'her' tree) and said that we really thought it was collapsing and would replace the tree. We offered her £150 towards a new tree.

Her husband came round shouting the odds and my dh felt physically threatened, even thought the guy was going to punch him. They said that they wanted a new tree that was over 3 metres tall, which cost £320. As we don't want to fall out we agreed to the higher amount. Even though it was not a like for like replacement.

Now they are asking us to pay for it to be dug in and they want it in a different position (not in the middle of the hedge at the bottom of our respective gardens), but higher up. This will cost us well over £500 in total.

We know that they want the new tree bigger and in a different position so to block the view of the houses that they can now see because we removed and topped pine trees that we were well in our right to remove in our garden.

We have agreed to the additional cost but I feel really aggrieved. We agreed so to keep the peace. But even after bending over backward to their demands, they are still being really grumpy and rude to us.

I am so upset by this situation. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
KeatsiePie · 05/03/2014 05:32

finger I get why you paid. Glad it's over with and you can move on.

minibmw2010 · 05/03/2014 06:25

That tree will never be replaced and they're off on holiday !!

AgentProvocateur · 05/03/2014 07:03

OP, if it's any consolation, I'd have done the same as you.

I am a hard-as-nails negotiator at work, or when it comes to faulty goods in shops etc, but £500 is a small price to pay for harmonious relations with neighbours.

Put it behind you and don't think what you could have bought.

BumpyGrindy · 05/03/2014 07:10

I can't believe you cut all those lovely trees down! And you never asked. Pay them enough for a decent replacement.

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2014 07:20

Bumpygrindy RTFT

BumpyGrindy · 05/03/2014 07:32

YellowDinosaur no need to get so emotionally invested! Grin

ZenGardener · 05/03/2014 07:42

I also think you should still get the CCTV cameras installed. These neighbors seem like trouble.

roadwalker · 05/03/2014 08:00

I think you need to brace yourselves because I think they will be back for more now they know you will hand over cash

Lj8893 · 05/03/2014 08:03

Yep, now they know your a pushover they will begin to try their luck with everything now!!

McFox · 05/03/2014 08:11

You should have checked who owned the big tree before removing it. I would also be furious if you'd done that in my garden, why the hell would they want to see houses rather than a lovely tree?!

Everyone saying up call the police needs to get a grip - the neighbours are understandably pissed off, but they haven't done anything illegal. OP you've potentially been in the wrong here so do the right thing and stop listening to rumours.

JazzyCardi · 05/03/2014 08:21

She did do the right thing McFox. She cut down trees in her own garden and cut the tree on the boundary after checking with the husband who said he couldn't care less, but that his wife might think otherwise. In the OP's position I would have expected him to discuss it with his wife and if I heard nothing back from them I would assume it was fine to go ahead.

FingerLicking I had a similar dispute with a neighbour that started with me cutting down a rotten tree in my own garden. They said it spoiled their view Hmm. So fucking what? It's my garden and I'll do what I like in it. We were new to the area - Londoners just moved out to the country so did our best to pander to them, worrying that we'd broken a code or something. I bought presents as an apology and these were accepted and we seemed to get on for a while afterwards. All my efforts did though was alert them to the fact that I'm a soft touch and they became ridiculously demanding an anti-social towards us.

We moved away after just one year of living there. I totally understand why you wanted to soothe away any issues with these people but please don't do it again. They'll bleed you dry if you let them.

Sallystyle · 05/03/2014 08:33

Why the fuck don't people read the thread?

Here is a tip. You can just read the OP's posts if you don't want to read all the replies.

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2014 08:40

Emotionally invested? Um, no Hmm

Irritated by posters thinking anyone would want to listen to their opinion when they can't be arsed to inform themselves of the facts? Yes that.

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2014 08:42

Or what samu2 said (cross posted)

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 05/03/2014 08:51

personally I would not have actually given them the money, I would have directly paid for the tree itself and then directly paid the contractor digging it in, all with proper invoices and receipts, they took you for mugs there I am afraid.

IrishBloodEnglishHeart · 05/03/2014 09:15

I think appeasement is sometimes the right path, particularly in neighbour boundary disputes which can be protracted, nasty and expensive. They can also get violent, leading to the involvement of police and jail time. I think posters urging you to tool up with CCTV and dig in for a fight need to get a grip.

McFox · 05/03/2014 09:44

JazzyCardi, no she didn't. The husband said that his wife might feel differently, but rather then waiting and speaking to the wife, or waitying to hear back from her, her DH took it upon himself to go ahead. That's not on, or is this woman not meant to speak for herself?

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/03/2014 09:44

To all those posters who think that a good relationship with neighbours is worth the £500 - do you seriously think that is what the OP will have now? With a neighbour who has a reputation as a bully and who has already increased his 'price' twice?

JazzyCardi · 05/03/2014 09:52

Of course the wife can speak for herself. The point is that she didn't until it was too late.

I would have assumed the husband would raise the issue with his wife and get back to the OP if it was a problem. Nothing to do with her not being able to speak for herself.

McFox · 05/03/2014 10:05

Until it was too late - i.e. the OP's DH didn't bother to wait, he just went right ahead.

I don't know why people think it's ok to piss neighbours off by doing something like this without express permission then act the poor wee frightened lamb when they get understandably pissed off.

JazzyCardi · 05/03/2014 10:12

I don't think OP has stated how much time passed between her husband approaching their neighbour and going ahead with cutting down the tree. If it was immediately after then perhaps you have a point.

I don't see how anyone can justify asking for over £500 compensation for a tree that was on a boundary though. Doesn't that indicate piss-taking to you? Especially that they want a different tree planted in a different area of the garden. Not particularly reasonable behaviour IMO.

CalamitouslyWrong · 05/03/2014 10:12

You paid £500+ to replace a £40 tree with a much more expensive tree in a different place? Seriously?

McFox · 05/03/2014 10:29

JazzyCardi, I think that you're missing the point to further your own opinion. The OP didn't have permission, it's that simple. They didn't bother to get it, they went ahead anyway. It doesn't matter if they waited 2 minutes, an hour or a day - if it wasn't their property they did it without permission and they are in the wrong.

JazzyCardi · 05/03/2014 10:45

The OP clearly thought that permission was granted. I would have thought the same. At worst she and her husband misunderstood. They sound entirely reasonable to me, what with virtually bending over backwards to smooth over the atmosphere that has been caused.

They sound like a pair of greedy fuckers.

splasheeny · 05/03/2014 11:08

Op Yanbu. Purely on the basis that the neighbours were threatening I would have refuse to deal with them. I agree with maintaining good neighbourly relations, but it sounds like there is nothing to maintain here.