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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that its just not bloody fair!

57 replies

LEMmingaround · 02/03/2014 18:15

Dogs only live on average 12(?) years? This means i have sobbed my heart out already four times over lost dogs. It is genuine grief.

Am just sitting with one of my JRTs snuggled on my lap, he snuggles right into me - he was a rescue dog and about six months when he got him. I love him so much (as i do JRT1 who is 8) JRT2 is about 2 now - he was snuggling right up to me and putting his head into the crook of my neck, he does this lots, its like he can't get close enough he is a wuss and doesn't like being cold.

It then dawned on me that one day i'll be making that awful decision that most people who have ever owned a dog has had to make. For both of them :(

It is simply not fair - that is all.

(yes i know there are worse things going on the world and im getting upset over something that is, please God, a fair few years away, although i lost my last dog when he was only 4 to bone cancer, and its all a bit selfish and pathetic, but i honestly felt sick to my stomach at the thought of the inevitable)

OP posts:

NoIamAngelaHernandez · 02/03/2014 18:16

We have a 12 year old and a 13 year old dog.

Won't be long now and though they sometimes shit on the sofa I will miss them a lot.

grabaspoon · 02/03/2014 18:18

My cat is 20 this year having git her for my 10th birthday. I am not looking forward to making decisions or saying goodbye

Objection · 02/03/2014 18:25

I absolutely dread it.
My mother actually saw her dog being hit by a truck (which drove off). She ran to her, dog looked up at her, wagged her tail and then died.
Just the thought haunted me for weeks, my mum was beside herself.

Ephedra · 02/03/2014 18:31

It's something I dread too.

My dog is 5 and has some health issues. After we had to put our last dog down age 6 I wanted this dog to die of old age, sadly I don't think that will happen.

Topseyt · 02/03/2014 18:39

This is something I also dread. My cat is nearly 13, and my dogs are a labrador who will be 10 this summer and a cocker spaniel who will be 9. Not seriously elderly yet, but all senior citizens nonetheless.

I make the most of their current good health. Who knows what is around the corner. Someone once said to me that the only disadvantage of dog ownership is that they just don't live anywhere near long enough. Very true, IMHO.

ILiveOnABuildsite · 02/03/2014 18:40

I know what you mean op, our 8 years old terrier has lymphoma, he had treatment and is in remission but we are told the average remission is 6-8 months and there is very littler further treatment that can be offered because obviously we don't want to treat him if it will make him miserable, his quality of life does have to first all the time. Still, sometimes I cuddle him and think we've probably had our last Christmas with him or he might not see his next birthday (in the spring). I can't even imagine taking him to the vet for that last time but I am so so scared of not noticing in time hat he his in pain as well. I've had him my entire adult life, I had him before I met my now husband and our dd has never known a life without him and she adores him, I can't bear to think of how upset she will be when she can't find him anywhere anymore, she is just too young to understand where/why he is gone but not so young she won't notice.

I know there are worst things but I agree op that it is genuine grief.

diddl · 02/03/2014 18:40

Perhaps the way to look at it is that it's a good thing that we can make that decision.

I've already had tears at the thought though.

But 12yrs??

No, no, no, it must be more than that!

Original poster

LEMmingaround · 02/03/2014 18:43

We did have a JRT at the vets where i worked that lived to be 24 It was a cantankerous little shit as well

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 02/03/2014 19:14

My beautiful girl is nearly 13. We got her when she was 4 and we were her 5th home! I cannot understand how Amy of her previous 4 owners could have parted with her. totally ignoring her obsession with chewing electrical wires, 2 DS chargers, an iron lead, a Hoover lead, a tablet charger

StarGazeyPond · 02/03/2014 19:17

My wonderful dog had to be pts just before Christmas. We had had him since he was 9 weeks old, and he was 15 when he died. I am still heartbroken.

WelshMaenad · 02/03/2014 19:19

I was getting upset just today over the realisation that my gorgeous cat is nearly 8. We've had her since she was 18 months and she's a very special girl indeed. She's started to get just a little hesitant at jumping through windows etc and my heart broke at the thought of her becoming old and frail, she's my princess.

DramaAlpaca · 02/03/2014 19:22

I know what your mean OP. Our eldest springer spaniel is 14 and on borrowed time as she is gradually deteriorating. I am dreading the day we lose her and think we may have to make a decision fairly soon.

We also have a 12 year old springer who we absolutely adore, and losing her will be even worse than the older one, because she has the most wonderful personality.

zeezeek · 02/03/2014 19:41

I'm sat here with one of my beautiful boys wrapped around my neck - he's lying on the back of the armchair and loves cuddling into people's necks. He's the youngest - 3 years old and a retriever. My other boy - a springer spaniel - is lying on DH, who is lying on the sofa. He's 5. And our old girl - a 6 year old collie - is curled up on the other sofa with DD1 cuddled into her fast asleep (she's got a throat infection - DD that is, not the dog). Our dogs are part of our family - they have been with us since they were puppies and have grown up with the children, so adore them. The collie, in particular, is devoted to the girls and rarely leaves their sides when they are playing. We joke that she is their nanny. The boys are just so cuddly and soft and complete babies. All the dogs have been crawled over and played with even dressed up by the children. This house would be so empty without them. They have taught my children about unconditional love and care and they make us all laugh 100 times each day.

Many years ago, when I was recovering from cancer, we had a couple of rescue greyhounds - during the rounds of chemo they never left my side. We both cried for days when they died within 6 months of each other at 10 and 11 years old.

I've had dogs all my life - my parents always had at least 2 and even now have them. Each time one of them died it was heartbreaking and, for a while, we always said - no more. But we always ended up with another dog who we love just as much - but each one had their own personality and idiosyncrisities - but each one has enhanced my life, my DH's life and now my DD lives and although it sounds corny, they will live on in our hearts and, like my parents, like us, my DDs will continue to have dogs and love them and give them a good home.

EverythingsDozy · 02/03/2014 19:46

It's not fair. It's shit.
I planned on having my cavalier King Charles for ever but then my evil bastard husband walked out on us and it was a case of having to give her up (as I have two DC and it was just hard on my own) to our local animal welfare (who I think have already found her a home).
It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I was heartbroken, as was DD. It was the first time since this whole thing with H kicked off that I just wanted to kick his stupid face in!
I hope that the new owners love her and take care of her as much as we did.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 02/03/2014 19:47

Our cat is nearly 16 and in the last six months has become much slower and a bit creaky.

Musicaltheatremum · 02/03/2014 19:53

One of my best friends texted me from France to tell me that her lovely dog had had to be put down in the UK whilst she was away. He was very unwell. She was so upset. He was about 12. I don't have a dog but having cried when our hamster had to be put down I am sure it would be even more harrowing. They get to know you and your family.

HeartShapedBox · 02/03/2014 19:55

I'm dreading it with girldog.

she's only six, but her wee brother was only 2 1/2 when he had to be pts, and it broke my heart

it's something I've never got over.

Moomoomie · 02/03/2014 19:56

This is one of the reasons I can't get another dog. I was devastated when our wonderful border collie died three years ago. She was 16 years old and had been there for me during infertility and the adoption of our three children.

polkadotdelight · 02/03/2014 19:58

We lost three of our cats last year (one was run over, two had lymphoma) but despite the heartbreak the house wasn't the same. We've now adopted an eight and a half year old, we may not have him as long as if we'd had a kitten but lots of people don't want older animals.

melliebobs · 02/03/2014 20:00

I have a 4 year old Patterdale. I'd never really thought about not having him. Until I had DD who is now 2 and absolutely besotted with him. Cos essentially they are going to grow up together and I can seethem being best buds already. So having to explain to he that he's passed away and dealing with her grief as well as mine feels a zillions times worse.

Goldencity1 · 02/03/2014 20:03

You are right, it's not fair. Ben, (12), Lucy, (12) her sister Penny (16), my wonderful Daisy (9) all those lovely Goldies gone to the Bridge.
Millie is 11 now and getting a bit slower, in another 10 years Goldie pup will be an oldie too. They don't live long enough.

LizzieVereker · 02/03/2014 20:03

My darling boy cocker spaniel was 13 when he was pts two years ago. Even though he was poorly, the guilt I felt as I let the vet in. I cried more over him than I did about my Dad dying, still do. I miss him, I desperately want another dog, but it wouldn't be him.

MidniteScribbler · 02/03/2014 20:25

It's not fair.

I've got six dogs now, but my old boy is 13 and not doing too well. I'm pretty sure I'll have to make the decision in the next few weeks. The old girl is 14 1/2 and fortunately still going strong, but I'll be absolutely gutted when she goes. She's my shadow and has been with me for her whole life and seen me through a lot of tough times.

Sevensev · 02/03/2014 20:30

Death of anything is hard.

PissesGlitter · 02/03/2014 20:30

Our oldest is 12 now and I know she won't last forever so treasure each minute we do have
I thought we where going to need to take her to the vet for a tooth last week and husband nearly cried as he thinks if she goes in she won't come out

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