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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Women slapping men on TV

35 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 02/03/2014 17:21

I have just watched last night's Casualty and there was a scene where a male member of staff got slapped very hard around his face by a woman because he lied to her. The storyline/scene was written to be seen as something humorous and the other actors in the scene laughed when it happened and the whole thing was staged to be something funny and something to giggle about.

AIBU to feel a bit put out by it?

I have never understood why showing women being violent towards men is absolutely fine and considered amusing. If the clip was reversed and a woman got slapped round the face by a male I doubt everyone in the scene would be laughing and would instead be calling the police!! It just surprises me that even in this modern day it is still being classed as funny and acceptable for women to hit men and it be something that women are 'allowed' do just because we are socially seen as the 'weaker sex'.

It's the same when a soap character finds out her DH/DP did something unforgiveable, she starts screaming at him, slapping him, pummelling his chest, throwing things at him etc and it is seen as understandable and acceptable and I doubt many viewers bat an eyelid. But reverse the genders and we'd be horrified!!!

I just don't get it.

Men being violent towards women is horrific but surely it should work both ways? An old friend of mine was physically abused by his girlfriend, he used to turn up covered in bruises and scratches from her latest attack. It was awful. He put up with it for well over a year, probably because he was too embarrassed to admit it was going on.

OP posts:
FutTheShuckUp · 02/03/2014 17:23

YANBU. Many cases abuse towards males from females go unreported, and the double standards seen in the media dont help this (even MN at times)

AlpacaYourThings · 02/03/2014 17:24

YANBU, it's not on.

JapaneseMargaret · 02/03/2014 17:27

Nobody should be violent with anyone, but I think it is seen as worse when the party being violent has the physical advantage due to strength/size/body mass.

There is something particularly questionable about hitting a person who you can pretty easily dominate.

DitaVonCreamTeas · 02/03/2014 17:34

Hell no, YANBU at all. This is something that I've hated for as long as I can remember - woman slaps a man and we're all supposed to cheer or laugh. Absolutely disgusting. And if anyone thinks differently then ask a man who's been the target of domestic violence who he feels.

DitaVonCreamTeas · 02/03/2014 17:35

*how.

innisglas · 02/03/2014 17:41

YANBU at all. And even though if the man were to defend himself he would get the better of the woman, obviously only a madwoman would attack a man who felt it is ok to hit a woman.
The men who get hit are the ones who are incapable of hitting back, this is totally unacceptable behaviour

noblegiraffe · 02/03/2014 17:41

I watched Thor 2 last night and Natalie Portman's character slapped Thor twice, and Loki once. I think it was supposed to show that she was tough and wouldn't take any nonsense. Loki even says after being slapped 'I like her'.

You're right, it's a bit odd.

Vibrissa · 02/03/2014 17:43

I don't feel comfortable with it at all.

Yanbu

DonnaDishwater · 02/03/2014 17:43

It's an abuse of privilege. I don't think a woman who slaps a man can have any complaint if he slaps her back.

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 17:45

Yanbu

OddBoots · 02/03/2014 17:45

YANBU, one person assaulting another isn't funny or to be celebrated, whoever they are.

TeamHank · 02/03/2014 17:46

My brother had to leave a relationship last year due to her extreme violence to him. He's big, strong and more than able to handle himself - she was tiny. He never once raised his hand to her, despite extreme provocation.

It is a unreported crime and has deeply affected him.

Not funny at all.

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 17:46

But it does a disservice to women as well. it suggests women can't show disnity, restraint, assertiveness. That they are emotional children and that it's somehow reasonbale and expected for them to be like that.

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 17:47

Dignity, even

jenniuol · 02/03/2014 18:08

Yanbu, I find those kinds of scenes deplorable. Like you say if it was the other way about everyone would be rightly Shock

perfectstorm · 02/03/2014 18:32

YANBU. Totally agree that it does a huge disservice to both men and women, and helps create a culture in which a form of domestic violence is seen as not that bad, and maybe even justifiable.

Any form of intimate partner violence is horrible. Whatever the configuration. Portraying it as okay is encouraging it to keep happening.

Caitlin17 · 02/03/2014 18:46

YANBU.

I also don't like the current Diet Coke cinema advert where a bunch of giggling women throw a can of diet coke to a man pushing a lawnmower knowing when he opens it it will explode all over his t-shirt which he will then have to take off.

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 18:51

Me either Caitlin

Or the yoghurt one where the life guard is deemed thick for tripping over.

TV is full of lowest common denominator gender stereotyping and sexism.

flashheartscanoe · 02/03/2014 18:52

YANBU
I got caught out by his once years ago- I was 16 and a bit miffed by a male friend who turned up late for my party- I slapped him- at the time I had seen it on TV and thought it was totally fine and a bit high drama. He was massively upset and didnt speak to me for ages. I now realise how humiliating it was for him and its absolutely not ok!

NiceTabard · 02/03/2014 18:59

This is a media - soap thing isn't it.

In real life most people (male or female) don't go around hitting each other, and the ones that do, don't discriminate by sex.

Thinking about the soaps love to show women slapping each other as well.

To portray someone being slapped around the face as amusing is never a good thing.

LetZygonsbeZygons · 02/03/2014 19:28

agree, OP. and agree about the ads too.

in the old days the ads were women with the fairy liquid and the cooking and stuff and now its completely the opposite. in the old days that was sort of the norm (wether you/I think its right or not) but now the men seem henpecked/useless/bumbling.

I guess the male actors need to pay their rent etc and need the work possibly, but why allow themselves to be portrayed like that? Hmm.

AnyFuckerHQ · 02/03/2014 19:43

Yanbu

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 19:48

Let

That's progress for you. We should be "glad" that was done to women is now being done to men...

LetZygonsbeZygons · 02/03/2014 19:59

Thought its sup[pose to be about equality, not revenge! ?

NewtRipley · 02/03/2014 20:01

Yes, but not in tv world