to be sick of teenage dramas?

[SchrodingersFerret]

She's only twelve, 13 in a couple of months, but good grief the hysteria is wearing. This member of the group is 'going out' with this member for three days, this one won't speak to the other one because she's 'going out' with her 'ex'. Then this evening one of them was 'trying to commit suicide'. I'm, of course, deeply concerned when told this.

Turns out she was just showing off on a particularly high climbing frame. Cue lots of back and forth text messages declaring 'you're my best friend ever and I cried for hours'.

If I was ever like this, mother, you have my unending apologies. I'm so bored of it - I'd never tell her, but golly it's dull. AIBU? Should I be a achingly sympathetic angel-mother?

Wouldbemedic-

The daft thing is once she has slammed the door shut she can't get it open again! Then 5 mins max before I hear "can someone let me out pleeeease..."

We have an over sharing issue here. DS seems to think I want to know about every detail of his friends' lives (and love lives ) and seems to be documenting his journey into puberty by imprinting details of his physical change onto my eyeballs by shoving his armpit in my face and saying 'look, hair!"
An example from this week, with guest appearance by one of his oldest friends..
They turn up after school, raid the cupboard then go up to DS's bedroom. I go upstairs 2 minutes later and they are acting like a pair of 2 year olds and making noises to match. I make a "kids today" type comment and DS's friend says "we're not kids anymore Ood (they all call me by my first name. I'm not a teacher) we have PUBES!" Thanks. Thanks for sharing.
They all bloody do it, DS is a bugger for it but then he proceed to prove himself wrong by having a temper tantrum that would shame his toddler sister..

Schrodinger, just one word of advice, never ever offer an opinion on any of the dramas because it will turn very quickly to it being all your fault. I was given great advice once by someone who told me not to offer an opinion on most things my teenage DD would tell me. Just repeat whatever she says e.g. if she says her teacher Mrs Smith said she 'was talking to her friends when she patently was not' just say 'Is that what Mrs Smith said'. This actually works. If you suggest instead that she doesn't talk in class believe me you are dead. I repeat things a lot and it actually stops the rant because they have nowhere to go with their words being repeated back to them.