Got the rage at a schoolchild, AIBU?

[magic8balls]

Okay, I feel quite bad about this and can't work out whether I was BU or not. Yesterday evening I was on the train, it was quite empty but two school boys (maybe 11 or 12) came and sat down, one next to me and one opposite me. Fine, I put my headphones in and was ignoring them. They start playfighting, one of them was waving his arm in my face and they were tussling on the floor by my feet. I got the rage and told them (not shouting), to please calm down and act with courtesy to other passengers, I was fed up of being shoved around by them. So they shut up but kept cough-swearing, like "cough BITCH cough" etc, and laughing etc. I tried to just ignore and chill. One of them got off the same train station, and was basically trying to delay me getting off, kept stopping in front of me, staring at me and saying "what, what?!" at me. He then went to get in his mums car, and I followed and told him that I was gonna tell his mum about his horrible childish behaviour. I didn't obviously, I didn't stoop to that level. But I realise that what I said was childish and I should have handled the situation better, I just felt so ragey. Was IBU to tell him off and how should I have handled it?

Report to the school

Would you tell a stranger to fuck off if they'd had a word with you about how your child was behaving when out unaccompanied?

No. Then don't be arrogant enough to assume that his mum would care any less than you. Most parents would want to know.

yep, tell the school. Private schools live and die by their reputation and they will be livid to know that a couple of their pupils behaved in such a manner.

If anyone had complained about us to our school we would have had a strip torn off us, and then some! By both school and parents.

I've phoned the local school once to complain about a group of boys swearing. They were a bit older and to be honest I was a bit intimidated.

I got the feeling the secretary was a bit meh about it.

I thought to myself at the time I would phone the school if I ever saw some exemplary behaviour - but funnily enough I haven't yet !!!

Report to the school and offer to go in and identify the anti social little toerag.

I think the only thing you did wrong was not following through on your threat to tell his Mum.

But it's worth reporting to the school now, both the secondary schools my dc go to are very strict about student misbehaving while they are commuting to and from school in uniform, and they'd definitely follow it up. Sometimes they post teachers at the local station and in surrounding areas to help manage this sort of thing.

I agree that telling his mother would have been a good idea - but I would only have done it if in a very public area so you could be safe and/or walk away if her reaction wasn't the right one. ( ege telling her DS she was disappointed)

I agree that most parents give a shit Saucy, but then I've met parents who will go to great lengths to let you know what they think of your opinion of their child.

It can feel as though someone complaining about your DCs behaviour is a judgement on your parenting, and because most parents care about how they're seen, they don't always take criticism very well.