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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to take the piece of paper given to ds2 to write his food diary and write on it myself?

180 replies

TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2014 09:07

Something along the lines of "stick it up your arse"

I'm furious. Ds2 is 10. He has to write everything he eats for the next 2 days, the teacher will then give a prize to the person with the "best" diet.

I hate this. I hate the lunchbox police. I hate that they are teaching DCs that there are good and bad foods when there's no such bloody thing IMO

Food is food. I don't ban sugar or whatever, I don't give low fat yoghurt or sugar free squash to a 10 year old. Or supposedly healthy cereal bars.
He eats a balanced diet which includes "bad" foods.

But do you know what has really really pissed me off?

We are going out for dinner to celebrate my DN birthday. We are going to tgi Fridays cos the DCs love it. My ds2 is now really worried that he is going to get in trouble.
He is saying to me that he won't have the Oreo milkshake that he loves and only has once a year and he won't have a dessert and he will have a healthy main course.

I am furious. We don't go out to eat very often. He eats a balanced diet, he is very active and this teacher is making him worried about going out for dinner? What the actual fuck?

I told him not to write it. And I said that I will write a note to the teacher explaining that we do not have good and bad foods in this house and making a 10 year old feel guilty about going out for dinner or fretting about what they are going to eat is unacceptable

The thing is, at 10, they eat what is provided, don't they?
I mean they don't do the shopping or meal planning or cooking. So they are now made the feel guilty about something they have no fucking control over anyway.
What is this supposed to achieve exactly?

OP posts:
chocolatecaramel · 01/03/2014 09:32

No, it's not OK, Tantrums

I still remember just over two years ago. My weight had, due to stress, gone up to 11 stone. I am 5'3 and I was overweight; a healthy BMI is between 8 and 10 stone.

Throughout the autumn of 2011 I tried to lose it - man, I tried! Exercise, slim fast, cutting down portions. It wouldn't shift. I'd lose 2lbs and put a pound on, drove me mad.

Then Christmas came and I went to stay with my brother in our dads house (he doesn't live in it.) I decided to 'sod it' and go back to my 'diet' January 1.

Without realising it I must have just fallen into a healthy regime of eating when hungry, I remember having fish and chips that Christmas when brother and I couldn't be bothered cooking, I definitely had a chocolate brownie at costa coffee with my best friend, I had a yummy roast chicken dinner on Christmas Day.

Two weeks later I stood on the scales and weighed 10 stone 6lbs.

By February I was 9 and a half stone and a healthy weight, I've discovered I'm not naturally greedy, it's when I get into the trap of 'ooh shouldn't have that' and then when I do have it I eat loads as its a treat when after a few mouthfuls I don't want it any more anyway.

Children who are slim and active are eating well. A diet for children is very different to an adults diet anyway. I don't think the principle of a food diary is a bad one though and look at where energy, nutrition and so on comes from - but as Tantrums says, there aren't good and bad foods at all. My 'lunch' yesterday was a sice of cake and a hot chocolate which would make a teacher recoil in horror, but I'd had a pear mid morning and then had veggie casserole for dinner, I'm healthy, fit and active and I LOVE food!

BlackDaisies · 01/03/2014 09:32

I would just put your normal weekend food down. Tell your ds everyone has treats and meals out complete with puddings, even his teacher. Say you'll write a note to his teacher to say why you've done it.
As far as the actual homework. I don't think it's a bad thing for children to be aware of what's healthy or not. But I do agree it's a bit unfair to turn it into a class competition when some children have little control over what they eat. I think you'll find though that most people will hand in a slightly or very creative menu to get round that. Encourage your son to eat his 5 a day and make sure you put that down. Leave out the rare treats. Hopefully he'll be happy with that.

fuzzpig · 01/03/2014 09:33

YANBU. The prize thing is fecking ridiculous.

HavantGuard · 01/03/2014 09:35

I would be seriously pissed off about them issuing a list of 'good' and 'bad' foods, particularly one that put things stuffed with artificial sweeteners on the 'good' side.

Artandco · 01/03/2014 09:39

Surely you don't have to be specific anyway?

He can just write : pasta and milkshake for example. Doesn't have to say wholemeal pasta with xyz and Oreo milkshake with extra sugar.

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2014 09:40

Exactly havant

That's my point, half the stuff in the good list is packed with artificial this and that, it isn't any better than the stuff on the bad side.

I don't like seeing a 10 year old worried about being naughty because they ate a cake, it's ridiculous

OP posts:
Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2014 09:42

Yes but it isn't about what he writes.

It's the fact that he is worrying about having the milkshake in the first place. Why should he be worried about it? Because his teacher said its "bad"?

It isn't "bad"

It's something he has on the rare occasion we go to TGI. It's not bad or good it's a milkshake.
I haven't raised any of my DCs with this good and bad bullshit, I don't see why this teacher has suddenly become the judge of a good diet tbh.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 01/03/2014 09:43

OP, try and get some perspective. 29 children in your DS's class will not get a prize.

Your DS is 10 - does he seriously think his teacher will consider him "bad" if he doesn't win the prize?

Pass on your comments (calmly and politely) to the teacher by all means if you think that would help. But ditch the fury you're displaying on here if you want him / her to take you seriously.

chocolatecaramel · 01/03/2014 09:44

How rude Suburban; she isn't angry because her child won't get a prize but because she feels a ten year old is upset about having a milkshake as a treat! I would be, too!

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2014 09:48

Oh my god.

i don't care about the prize

i don't want him to win the prize

i just do not want him to feel guilty about drinking a milkshake because his teacher thinks it is bad

OP posts:
LucyLasticBand · 01/03/2014 09:48

if he writes what he ate during the special occasions, they will never know is normal diet anyway.

addictedtosugar · 01/03/2014 09:49

I like the food pyramid idea.
If you filled in a pyramid with his weekends food, would it balance?
It has a section for treats (and non, iirc for diet for or artificial sweeteners)

SuburbanRhonda · 01/03/2014 09:51

The first line of the OP says "stick it up your arse" and you're accusing me of being rude, chocolate?

chocolatecaramel · 01/03/2014 09:51

Milkshakes definitely aren't 'bad' anyway! They are high in calories, but do contain lots of calcium, obviously: really good for growing kids. And a skinny ten year old hardly needs to worry about calories anyway.

I did (and loved) a GCSE in cooking/Home Ec at school and our teacher was fantastic. She drilled into us the different nutritional needs people have and a growing child needs are hugely different to a thirty year old woman, for example.

CalamitouslyWrong · 01/03/2014 09:51

I agree with you tantrums and I'd be writing to the school to complain about it (and telling DS not to do the homework). I wouldn't fill in fake entires that fit the not really all that healthy healthy eating advice in the homework because what good would come of that?

Apart from anything else the 'good food' list is nonsense. Low fat yoghurt are full of sugar and other weird shit to make up for taking the dat out. Full fat yogurts are better for you, particularly for a child who us growing and needs a decent amount of. And sugar free squash!?! In what universe is that a 'good' food?

It's not health education; it's dangerous misinformation, which is making your son anxious about his perfectly healthy diet.

magicalmrmistoffelees · 01/03/2014 09:51

YANBU. I agree with you 100% OP. What is the teacher hoping to achieve by this exercise, and how is she qualified to judge who has the 'best' diet? Completely understand that schools should be educating children regarding healthy eating, but this is not a good way to go about it.

chocolatecaramel · 01/03/2014 09:52

It's really rude to tell someone to get some perspective. Disagree by all means but your post implied that Tantrums was angry her son wouldn't get a prize, which obviously isn't the case!

ilovesooty · 01/03/2014 09:53

I think it's a disproportionate reaction and risks fuelling his anxiety. Simply tell him it isn't that important and remind him of the knowledge and awareness he already has.

And enjoy your meal.

sashh · 01/03/2014 09:54

Fortunately I have not received the official memo at work so I am still taking cake in for 18th birthdays.

You are 18 once in your life, you are legally an adult, a sliver of cake (a £1 cake divided in to 8) once in your school life is not going to do you any harm.

Yes OP YANBU, make it up.

manchestermummy · 01/03/2014 09:54

YANBU. I am so sad for your ds, worrying about a treat. Sad

pussycatdoll · 01/03/2014 09:56

I shall be telling the teacher what I think of it anyway.
In a very calm, nice manner

good for you!

don't forget to update us on Monday :)

IamInvisible · 01/03/2014 09:56

YANBU at all, Tantrums!

It is a bloody ridiculous homework and I would not have allowed my DC to have done it.

DS1 was 11/12 when Jamie Oliver launched his school dinner campaign. DS1 would not touch anything sweet, wouldn't eat chips, a trip to TGIFridays would have sent him into a panic, too. We went on holiday and it was hot, he would not have an ice cream or an ice lolly. Children at that age are very impressionable.

littlepurplealien · 01/03/2014 09:57

I would suggest that you find out when the teacher will be making their food diary for the week/weekend in open to scrutiny by the children.

I bet that would make for interesting reading if it was done honestly !

If the teacher was joining in they'd be editing theirs to fit their "rules" so I'd totally feel free to do the same.

I'd also be sending in a note asking that this subject, if it is soooo important, be handled by a qualified health care professional (dietician) but, and for me this is a big but...... I've worked in the NHS and I've come across 3 "dieticians" in that time who had a most unhealthy relationship with food, 2 of them eating such a seriously restricted diet as to leave them underweight and the third was temporarily obsessed with every new bad food alert issued/reported on until the next food alert was published.

HSMMaCM · 01/03/2014 09:57

Yanbu. Put a sticky note on his completed form and say you would love to come in and meet the dietician who will be judging the best diet. Also explain that they have made your child feel guilty about an occasional milkshake.

CalamitouslyWrong · 01/03/2014 09:58

I don't see how the OP would be making her son anxious. I'd imagine she'd just say to him, 'don't worry about that homework. You don't need to do it' and take it up with the school. That's what I'd do.

Then I'd have a serious conversation with the teacher about how inappropriate the prize for the 'best' diet based on a very deeply flawed list of 'good' and 'bad' foods is. Health education should not be making children anxious about their diets.

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