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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be fuming with my d(not) h?

25 replies

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 19:58

Background we moved to a different country 2years ago.in UK I worked 5_6 days a week. We have been together 16 Years and have 3 dd. Last 6months been very hard, we behind rent, bils etc. Today he got good wage and spent 7EUR pair of trainers and 50EUR Tommy Hilfiger t shirt? 2weeks ago I was cashiny up penny to buy bread. He say he earns it so can spend how he wants. He says he sick off doing everything for us all get nothing in return even though I cook, clean etc, and get up hour earlier than I need to to make his pack lunch

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 28/02/2014 20:00

Any chance of moving back to the UK?

Can't see why you'd want to stay with such a man.

Thattimeofyearagain · 28/02/2014 20:02

Has he always been a twat ?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 28/02/2014 20:08

What a twat.

essentials first. Always.

what kind of arse prioritises a pair of stupid shoes above the roof over their family's head? Wtf is WRONG with him? Really?

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:09

No only been that last couple months!very confused cos he like different person,, making me feel so small right now. Would move back but put so much into kids settling in here.

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plum100 · 28/02/2014 20:11
Hmm
dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:13

Isee exactly my thought.I'm seeing red lights here. Apparently I'm a moaning whinging cow!

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dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:15

Isee exactly my thought.I'm seeing red lights here. Apparently I'm a moaning whinging cow!

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Justnapping · 28/02/2014 20:20

Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt?! Is it 1999!? No but seriously this is completely unacceptable and terrible behaviour. Do you have a joint account?

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:23

Justnapping he gets paid cash self_employed and money has alwaysjust been our money.when in UK and both worked always just pooled money together

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RhondaJean · 28/02/2014 20:25

Stop.

Stop now.

Don't wash, clean or make food for him. If you shop, buy for you and the kids. Not him.

Tell him you are sick of doing everything for him and getting nothing in return too.

Is there any chance of you getting work where you are? Does he perhaps hate the new job? Not that that's an excuse.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/02/2014 20:28

Stop making his lunch, stop doing his washing. Have you spoke to him properly? His behaviour is unacceptable. If it continues, leave. You don't need to be treated like this and neither do your kids.

Amandine29 · 28/02/2014 20:29

If his behaviour has changed in the last few months is there any chance he's having an affair? (Sorry)

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 28/02/2014 20:30

Well, now you know the core of him. Who he is when you rely on him.
It's not pretty.

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:31

Rhonda yes he hates job but he pushed to move here. I would love to work but there is nothing here for me, he moans, whines and doesn't even want hear about my day. I'm worry myself sick about bills etc and he does this

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/02/2014 20:32

So he hates his job and is taking it on you?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/02/2014 20:33

*out

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:33

Thought about affair would make sense

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RhondaJean · 28/02/2014 20:38

I can see a couple of possible reasons.

Hates job, resents you because he thinks you have it easy.

Affair.

Hates jobs feels guilty because he wanted to move takes it out on you.

Is a twat.

None are good enough but some are workable through? If you want?

KurriKurri · 28/02/2014 20:39

Sorry red lights for me - not caring about family, saying he can spend money how he wants, sick of doing everything Hmm, insulting you. I had about six months of exactly that behaviour then my STBXH ran off with a woman he'd been having an internet affair with.

Men having affairs are nasty to their wives so they can justify their bad behaviour in their heads.

Sorry to suggest this -but I wish I had been warned, - hope it is not the case with your H, but he sounds pretty unpleasant, and very like my X.

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:40

Also 3weeks ago he had thrush, I didn't. Don't know much about it but I'm 39 and never had it. Could this be a sign

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/02/2014 20:42

I didn't think thrush was an sti. I mean, women get it all the time. It's a yeast infection.

RhondaJean · 28/02/2014 20:46

It's not an Sti as such but can be passed partner to partner which is why when you have thrush you treat your partner as well.

I've given it to DH before. It's happened in me due to an imbalance in yeast but then can be infectious. I think it's reasonably unusual, although not impossible, for men to take it without being infected.

KurriKurri · 28/02/2014 20:46

Are you sure it was thrush he had?

dizzy101 · 28/02/2014 20:55

Yes defo thrush.now apparently cos we only have sex 1-2 times a week I'm shaggingthe postman etc, to me you accuse cos you are guilty?

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 28/02/2014 22:10

yes - I think you are right,- best form of defense is attack for him.

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