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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give neighbours son a lift

27 replies

threeisthebest · 28/02/2014 17:47

Our sons go to football training at the same club. Neighbour asked me if her son could get a lift there with us as there is no point in us both going in 2 cars, fine.

I asked if she would be picking them up but she said she cant bring my son home because she has agreed to drop 3 other boys off at home so there will be no room in the car. This is not a one off, she has arranged this on a permanent basis. I haven't been involved with any arrangements with other parents so I don't know why she has agreed to pick up 3 other boys every week.

I tried to suggest that it would be fair if we took it in turns to take the boys to football but she didn't seem to be taking me up on this. In the end, I just said that I would rather not get involved in lift sharing and would do my own thing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
longingforsomesleep · 28/02/2014 17:49

What a cheek!! YANBU

pictish · 28/02/2014 17:50

Nope. The 'arrangement' would only be benefitting her, with you gaining nothing in return. She wants you to give a lift to her son, but sees no need to include yours in the lift home again.
Ha ha ha. Yeah right.

princessalbert · 28/02/2014 17:51

YANBU

Why should you feel obliged to help her out, if she isn't planning to reciprocate?

She just does one trip - yet you have to do two.

no way, Jose!

RafflesWay · 28/02/2014 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shakinstevenslovechild · 28/02/2014 17:52

How cheeky, she should get one of the other boys parents to drop her son off since she is doing them a favour.

pictish · 28/02/2014 17:53

She just wants to save herself a trip!!

AmberLeaf · 28/02/2014 17:53

YANBU.

What a bloody liberty!

Pheonixisrising · 28/02/2014 17:53

I actually laughed at the cheek of your neighbour , was she serious ???

Original poster
threeisthebest · 28/02/2014 17:56

Thanks everyone.

I have been partly thinking that I am being petty and that as I'm going anyway it seems silly not to let him jump in. It does feel rather odd us both leaving the house at the same time to go to the same place. I really cant understand why she wont alternate.

OP posts:
VeryStressedMum · 28/02/2014 17:56

Omg not a chance would I be giving anyone a lift!

greenfolder · 28/02/2014 18:00

Nope, yanbu would point her in the direction of the parents of the boys she brings home

Original poster
threeisthebest · 28/02/2014 18:00

Phoenix - yes she was serious. If this have been a one-off situation I would probably have just agreed to it because I am a bit on the soft side. But, a few years ago she changed jobs (huge promotion) and asked if she could drop the children off at mine at 8.15 because her new place of work was in the opposite direction to the school breakfast club so it would save her setting off really early.

I really wanted to say to her that I wasn't going to be used as an unpaid childminder, but in the end I skirted around the issue and waffled on about how I wouldn't want to let her down at any point and thought it would be better if she made proper arrangements herself.

OP posts:
greenfolder · 28/02/2014 18:01

Nope, yanbu would point her in the direction of the parents of the boys she brings home

QOD · 28/02/2014 18:04

Cheeky cheeky cow!!!!

PastPerfect · 28/02/2014 18:04

Regardless of the return could you do alternate drop offs?

It does seem a bit churlish to refuse a lift when you are going anyway but equally is be pissed off at the expectation

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 28/02/2014 18:05

Some people! Hmm YANBU

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/02/2014 18:06

You have not said no outright - you have offered the very reasonable solution of either you drop off both boys & she picks both up or you drop off both boys one week & she drops both off the next.

Both arrangements would still benefit her, so she is being nothing but a cheeky mare to only be interested if you are the one doing all the giving!

Who are the 3 other boys? Are they children of clique-mums who she is trying to "get in with"? She doesn't sound like the sort of person to do favours otherwise Confused.

BumpyGrindy · 28/02/2014 18:07

She won't share PastPerfect the OP said the neighbour doesn't want to alternate!

OP YANBU what a cheek. I have a parent at my DDs school who takes my DD to dance class every single Saturday along with her own...why? Because once a week I collect her DD from school and look after her while the Mum works. It's about give and take...I can't drive and she can;t afford childcare.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2014 18:17

YANBU. Cheeky cow.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 28/02/2014 18:17

Sometimes you have to say no to something you could easily do because the person who wants you to do it is a piss taking user who wants to take take take from you but not give anything to you.
this is one of those times. It is important to not be a doormat.

Tailtwister · 28/02/2014 18:19

YANBU. The lift arrangement doesn't benefit you at all! Tell her to get one of the parents of the other boys she's giving a lift to to take her son.

NewNameForSpring · 28/02/2014 18:20

How refreshing to hear of someone who has actually said no Smile. YANBU.

PastPerfect · 28/02/2014 18:38

Ah sorry I misread her refusal to alternate. In that case YANBU

NatashaBee · 28/02/2014 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohhifruit · 28/02/2014 18:49

Cheeky cow.
Drop him off once then invoice her.