exasperated at DP with finding a house

[ohnotagainagain]

we've been looking for a house since before DD was born 2 years ago. DP agreed that I could give up work when DD arrived so I relented on my choice of area close to my parents and my work. Since we didn't move then and since DD's arrival 2 things have happened. I have gone back to work 3 days a week and my parents look after her for one of those days. So he's reined in his choice from a 30 mile commute, to a 20 mile commute to just half-way across London. This is still wholly inconvenient for me to get to my parents and more difficult for me to get to work. I've just found somewhere today which is down the road from our (my) current small flat, and it seems perfect to me (lots of rooms, garden, period property - lovely). I'm exasperated as he won't even entertain a viewing. AIBU to be absolutely at my wits end, exasperated with him? With not too much of a push, I could afford to move there myself if I do continue working but I am thinking this would cause even worse problems...
Sorry, that turned out longer than expected. Arghh.

Did you see our posts above Thrilly? You don't have legal rights if you aren't married, common law marriage is a myth. Think carefully what it would mean if you gave up your work to be a sahm and something went wrong or something unexpected happened.

Call me cynical, my mum ended up a single mum when my dad sadly died when I was a child. Couldn't have predicted it, but they were married so she was entitled to his pension.

I don't know of any websites but a quick google beings up info.

fideline & Pobble thankyou for the advice. I am currently fully self-sufficient financially so that is not a worry but it sounds like something else to think about!! From all the advice it seems like I should make a decision on the working first, to get a framework in place. It is becoming clearer from everyone's input that I am maybe blaming him, but perhaps causing the issue with my indecision. If I just decide to keep working then be very clear on what is acceptable in terms of my commute and childcare commitments, that could perhaps swing it.
Laquitar he'd get the bus back [One way Boris bike!]
Creamy when you put it like that it sounds crazy to even contemplate moving from here.

Thankyou all, it's great to have things put into perspective!

Thrillybumsmum how long have you been on mat leave so far? It was super for me at first when I had maternity benefit. Then as soon as these stopped, but I was still off work, DP didn't really step up to the mark which then left me in no doubt that I should go back. This is what has kept me wavering as to whether to leave work or not as I am not convinved of his assurances that it would all be fine. I was lucky enough to have a well-paid job and a very flexible and fantastic employer and I appreciate that this is not an option for everyone.

Good, luck OP

Thrilly Handy summary here

But THIS is the Mumsnet thread which discusses whole SAHM/cohabitation issue.

and this

Thank you Pobble and fideline. Really appreciated - I'll get reading!!

Ohno - I've been at home 6 months and just gone on to statutory. We've always been fairly easy about money and he's stepped up so it's not a problem now. For me, it's more the repercussions of long term financial imbalance. I just don't think the inequality would be good for our relationship. If I'm honest I don't trust him to not hold it over me one way or another. Perversely I could see myself marrying him for precisely the fact that I'm not 100% confident about our long term future!

For what it's worth I too would be very exasperated if my partner didn't want to view the property you've seen! Space, garden and period features in London at an affordable price is a gem! Not to mention it being close to your mum and his work!

I guess like someone else has said once a line has been drawn under one decision/ not negotiable requirement hopefully everything else will slot into place.

Good luck and book for a damn viewing!

Read it! Thanks very much all!

I didn't notice that Chunder How annoying