Hello. I have read this forum for some time and now at my wits end i have finally taken the plunge to join and i hope, get some advice from other Mums here.
To give a brief detail of my situation, i have been married for 9 years and i have 3 children under the age of 7. The youngest is a few months old and has slight learning difficulties, so he does not sleep for long and screams a lot when he is awake.
Things have now reached a crisis point with my DH as he is completely unsupportive.
I feel tired and completely wrung out all the time. However my DH demands that our home is clean, a meal is cooked and the children are asleep in their beds when he arrives home from work at 7.pm.
If anything is not done ready, he goes absolutely mad. He does not hit me but he has pushed me sometimes. It is more verbal abuse. He calls me fat, lazy and says that i look a mess.
He refuses point blank to look after the children for me, even so i can do the quickest of tasks. His actual words are ' You wanted fucking kids, you look after them' ( Please excuse the language )
He has not been interested in sex since i had our last child. When i asked him if there was someone else he replied ' I would rather have a wank than fuck you, you fat bitch' I found this extremely distressing and burst into tears. His reaction was to further verbally abuse me.
He goes online on his Ipad when he goes to bed and views porn while mastrubating, even with me laid in bed beside him. Last night, he pointed to one of the women on a porn film and said that if i looked like her, he would rape me every night. I went to the bathroom and cried.
He takes care of all the finances, even down to doing the shopping online. All the money goes into his bank account, his wages and my family allowance as i dont have a bank account and from this he gives me 25pounds a week as he says i dont need anything else as he pays for everything. From this i buy my sanitary wear and clothes.
I want to leave, but i have nowhere to go and no money. When i threaten to leave, he just says ' There's the door'.
I can't kick him out because the house that we live in belongs to his mother and he pays a small rent directly to her from his bank account.
He has also told me that if i leave, he will take the kids to Yemen and i will never see them again. This makes me very afraid as i know that if he does this, the Yemeni courts always side with the Father with custody, the mother has no rights at all. Even though he was born in England, his Parents are Yemeni and he has a Yemen passport. He also has the childrens passports locked away.
I can't work as i have nobody to care for my children while i am at work even if i did get a job.
I feel like i am going to have a breakdown. I go to bed and cry myself to sleep most nights, what can i do?
Please help.