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Original poster

To not give my 2 year old dinner

133 replies

RalphLaurenLover · 27/02/2014 18:22

So my 2 year old DS has recently decided he doesn't want dinner unless it's mac and cheese or chicken nuggets Hmm he refuses to eat chips,cucumber, corn, carrots etc.

For the last couple of days he'll love his breakfast love his lunch and his snacks in between but suddenly hates dinner. He sits there pushing the plate away not even trying a bit and screaming at it. I've left him there for half an hour and he just screamed, kicked and pushed it as far away as he could to the point where he was falling asleep (15 minutes late for bed) so I put him in bed.

His eating routine is

has breakfast when he gets up at 10 usually toast with butter and jam

Piece of fruit around 11

Lunch around 12:30-1:30 usually a sanwhich, crisp, cucumber and a piece or two of fruit

Piece of fruit again or a biscuit around 3

Then dinner it's this he has his bath at 4:45-5 then dinner around 5:30 and bed at 6

I'm not prepared to play this game with him cause he's two Hmm however I'm not prepared to make him chicken nuggets and chips so he can just eat the chicken nuggets and leave the rest

Please tell me this is a phase my brother is a 20 year old who will only eat plain pizza, sausages/chicken nuggets/burgers and chips everything processed and frozen and nothing heathy or fruit & veg. I'll be dead before I let him live like that

Helppppp

OP posts:
Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 28/02/2014 08:34

Jam toast

His dad isn't involved as of a no contact order but when we went to court all hearing where started after 10.

Family and friend see him in the time he's awake and the weekend

OP posts:
Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 28/02/2014 08:36

schlike

The thing is he used to eat at them meal times with no problems it's just recently he's having them

OP posts:
Oriunda · 28/02/2014 08:56

My DS just turned 2. Goes to sleep 715-730pm and wakes 530-45am. Morning nap 11-1pm. He has roughly 300mls milk a day split between small morning cup and larger evening bottle. Drinks water during day. He does activity classes/park around 930am, naps, then main meal lunch when he wakes. Afternoon walk or swings around 230pm. Has tea 5-530pm and this is usually a snackier affair (nuggets/fish fingers and beans etc. I make homemade ones using Annabel Carmel recipe as someone said above.) He is a very picky eater at the moment (putting down to molars coming through) and breakfast is a battle which I am learning to be relaxed about. He will eat a slice of toast or bread and cheese spread and a yoghurt though.

Though I would love DS to wake a little later, I would be very concerned if he slept from 6-10am. Surely leaves very little time in the day for activity/playing/visiting once you've built in meal times and bath etc?

SolomanDaisy · 28/02/2014 09:13

Is he just turned two or nearer three?

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 28/02/2014 09:25

He's two in April! My bad was planning his party yesterday and two was on the brain.

OP posts:
ipswichwitch · 28/02/2014 09:27

I do agree with other posters with regard to making his main meal at lunchtime so he can have a snacky type of tea. Maybe make it a bit fun like a little picnic or something. You could also try doing one chicken nugget with a bit of something new on the side. I did this with DS1 during his fussy stage just before he turned 2, but with him his food of choice is always pasta. It worked a treat and he's getting better at trying new food and even eating foods he's previously refused.

I would try to cut down the milk a bit (offer water) as it seems a lot to me and is probably filling him up too much. DS gets a good portion of his milk in his porridge at breakfast. I'd also do bath after tea. Hopefully this is just a phase though!

WilsonFrickett · 28/02/2014 09:35

Ah, 32 oz of milk. There you have it OP, that's far, far too much milk. If you look at that, plus as pp's have said, he's eating something every 90 minutes, he simply isn't hungry at tea time. Would you be, if you'd eaten every hour and a half (between quite a short time frame too) and drunk nearly a litre of full fat milk?

Cut down on the snacks and the milk and I'm sure you'll see a difference, although there are enough posters on this thread linking sleepy toddlers to food intolerance to make me think I'd take him to the GP too to get that ruled out. And if you think about it, if he is intolerant to something, maybe he's in discomfort by tea time which would explain the screaming maybe?

SeaSickSal · 28/02/2014 09:46

I would get him up a bit earlier and let him have breakfast earlier. Too much food is crammed into a short time. Then you can bring everything forward an hour or two. Then he can have dinner at 4 and have a couple of hours playing before bed.

Either he is to tired to eat, or he associates food with bedtime which he doesn't like. He's could be refusing to eat because finishing his dinner means bedtime and he doesn't want to go.

BirthdayMuppet · 28/02/2014 09:58

Yep, the milk and the sleep is the problem. It may make your life easier to have him asleep for 16 hours straight, but it's going to start having a serious impact on his life very shortly, in terms of accessing playgroups, pre schools, and nursery. I think you owe him a responsibility to get it sorted out because it's really not the norm for his age group, it honestly isn't. He's having roughly twice as much milk as is recommended for his peers and sleeping nearly three hours later than them - this should be ringing alarm bells for you. Something is clearly not right here.

On a personal note I would be halving his milk at each drink immediately and offer only water if he wants more. I would also be moving his wake up time 15 mins earlier every day or two with the aim of getting him to a consistent normal 7:30 wake up within two months. Introduce a short (

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 28/02/2014 10:52

It shouldn't be discomfort or good intolerant because he's had the same routine for about 6 months and the same food and been fine. Then again he's always had that routine and always ate his dinner and the milk it's just recently

He had his friend stay over this morning (sleeps 7-10) and we had to wake them up for their play group and they weren't impressed at the 8:30 wake up call! We now have ridiculously grumpy tired children

I'll take him to the drs his eyelids aren't red as someone else had said just white like him iyswim

OP posts:
Passthecake30 · 28/02/2014 10:55

My friends son (now 5) used to sleep 6pm until 10am -noon the next day, and now he sleeps 12 hours like a regular 5 yr old. I wouldn't stress too much about that if his health is fine

Passthecake30 · 28/02/2014 10:56

Oh and the mum has eds/hypermobility and she sleeps alot. Could be genetic for them.

stinkingbishop · 28/02/2014 10:59

My two year old twins sleep loads as well. Enjoy! They get up at 8 (8.30 at the weekend) and are often a bit put out that I'm waking them up!

But yes to a) cutting down the milk, it's calorific (in a good way!) They only have it at breakfast and before bed now b) having main meal at lunch, so tea is more of a picnic affair.

Could you also swap round dinner and bath? The bath will be relaxing him and maybe making him too sleepy to eat.

aworkingmummy · 28/02/2014 11:07

I would definitely swap bath and dinner - he's probably too tired to eat - or maybe too full if he spends so much time asleep. Dinner first, then bath then bed and see if it improves

Booboostoo · 28/02/2014 11:13

There are some doctors who believe that iron deficiencies in toddlers are quite widespread, especially in the crucial bit between 12mo to 2.5yo. There are calls for standard screening of all toddlers in the US although nothing has been taken up yet. The problem seems to be that the main source of iron is meat (with few alternatives such as lentils) which is not a favourite with many toddlers who are still reliant on quite a lot of milk.

My DD turned out to be very severly anaemic at around 16mo despite being on the 98th centile for weight.

Edendance · 28/02/2014 12:10

I think he needs to be woken up earlier and have a nap at 1ish. At 22m he's still so young to not have a nap- no wonder he's sleeping in so much in the morning. Try that first, give it a week or so to see you he gets on then look at his eating again if needs be. Sometimes swapping lunch and dinner can help as children are often very tired by dinner time which can make 'proper dinners' more difficult. I would also consider dropping snacks. Most of the toddlers I've looked after have taken so long to eat meals that snacks tended not to be given!

I used to look after a little one from 9-4 and he was often asleep for about 5 hours of that time- in hindsight that didn't seem healthy either and his development was slow. I think he's doing ok now, I only looked after him for a few weeks, one day a week.

Orangeanddemons · 28/02/2014 17:39

I don't think you should alter his sleep at all. He knows how much he needs. I thought it was quite common for them to sleep longer if they didn't have afternoon naps.

At 20months old, dd would not nap in the afternoon, she simply wouldn't go to sleep. If she did she would be up until 10.30pm. So she used to sleep from about 6:30 to about 9.00am.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 28/02/2014 18:05

He lasted to 4 fell asleep just after an hours swim today with a hideous tantrum for an hour because he was so tired now he's wide awake and not had dinner he's miserable and he won't be in bed on time so tomorrow is gonna be hard Hmm

OP posts:
Edendance · 28/02/2014 18:12

Did you put him down for a nap after lunch?

3littlefrogs · 28/02/2014 19:05

Years ago small children had their main meal at lunch time and a "nursery tea" or "high tea" at about 5pm.

Adults had "dinner" in the evening because they worked during the day.

I think that was a very good idea and much more appropriate than expecting a toddler to eat a big meal in the evening.

AngelaCatalano · 28/02/2014 19:49

OP, you say he 'lasted' until 4. Did you not put him down for a nap before then? People are not suggesting that you cut his night sleep without introducing a nap.

Would you consider cutting down his milk intake, and getting him in a 12-13 hour night sleep, with a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon? That is closer to the usual routine for his age, and although not compulsory, may be worth a try if you're having problems with food and tiredness.

Waltonswatcher1 · 28/02/2014 19:58

Just to confuse things even more -
No fruit between meals unless its banana. His teeth are getting to many sugar hits.
My son is really tall and is always hungry, As a toddler I used to fill him up with fruit . He has to have teeth taken out. I felt like crap. No sweets ,no fast food , all bloody home made and a fortune spent on organic . And my kid gets rotten teeth from fruit !

Blu · 28/02/2014 19:59

As he isn't yet 2, I think he should be having a nap.

And by the time you give him dinner, he is exhausted, and not especially hungry because he has had all that milk and everything else.

And I think he is way too young (at any age, tbh) to be left screaming in front of a dinner he doesn't want for half an hour.

neversleepagain · 28/02/2014 21:44

My twins have always been big sleepers from teeny. Their bedtime is between 6pm-6:30pm and I wake them at 7:30am (8am on weekends) and they sleep for 2.5 hours in the afternoon. That is around 16 hours a day, they are 17 months. Some children just need more sleep than others.

namechangejustforthisone · 28/02/2014 22:03

My first child did need this much sleep at this age - my other two didn't!! But can you get him up earlier and give him a nap? Might help develop a better routine around food? He does need the snacks at his age - but toddlers don't often eat three meals a day, in my experience - if one of mine didn't eat a meal it would just get taken away without comment. Sometimes they're just not hungry. I wouldn't give them anything else to replace it though.