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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to be pissed off about Mothers Day? Long and ranty sorry!

19 replies

CatThiefKeith · 27/02/2014 13:42

I probably am, but here goes....

This will be my third Mothers Day, with my beautiful dd, that doctors told me I would never have (cancer treatment in my 20's supposedly left me infertile, she arrived when I was 37)

Dh is a dj, so invariably is out until 2am on a Saturday night/Sunday morning which pretty much rules out breakfast in bed etc.

First Mothers Day fell on Mils birthday, who is a widow, and who traditionally has the whole family there for lunch, so that's where we went.

Last year it fell on dh and dsis birthday, so we were pretty tied up with family.

This year it clashes with nothing, but dh is involved with a local event that happens four times a year and it is the night before. It goes on til 4am so he won't be home much before 6, and will probably sleep til 2pm next day.

He has just let slip on the phone that he picked the bloody date!

I realise it is a big deal for him, but am totally pissed off that he actually booked that date, knowing that I am slightly miffed that I have yet to have a 'special' Mother's Day. Dd would love the whole making me a card/bringing up breakfast thing, and quite frankly I would fucking well like a lie in!

In fairness, the reason I haven't had a lie in since she was a week old is mainly because dh goes to work at 7am Mon-Fri, and dj's virtually every Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but even so, surely he could have made an effort to take a gig that finished at a reasonable time, on that particular day?

Guess we'll be going out somewhere nice for the day on our own then.

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/02/2014 13:45

Mothers day is nothing special in my eyes but if it means that much to you just pick another date for your mothers day.

Plus, you aren't your DH's mother so he probably didn't see a the big deal....and maybe he didn't even know it was Mothers day when he booked it. I have no idea when Mothers day this year is.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 27/02/2014 13:47

It really doesn't have to be that specific date just because it happens to be the one marked in everybody's calendar.

Pick a date that is special to you individually and have a celebration.

Or a date that isn't special at all to anyone and have a celebration.

don't get bogged down in all that calendar says it's time to... crap, it's not worth it.

bialystockandbloom · 27/02/2014 13:47

Don't blame you for wanting a much-needed lie-in but it doesn't have to be Mother's Day. Personally I couldn't give a damn about the day itself. And your dd doesn't know it's that day. But tell him to give you the following weekend off mornings, so you can have a lie-in both days then.

fuzzywuzzy · 27/02/2014 13:50

celebrate the american mothers day, its on a different day i think.

shakinstevenslovechild · 27/02/2014 13:50

Mothers day is no big deal really, I agree with Betty just decide on another special day.

In 13 years of being a mother I have only had flowers and a bit of a fuss on Mothers day once, and that's only because I had dd2 on Mothers day but dh and my dc make me feel special on other days, and it means more when just because....

DeWe · 27/02/2014 14:18

I doubt he chose that date because it was mothers' day. He probably picked the date not realising-Easter is late this year, so mothers' day is too.

Use the week before or the wek after for mothers' day and he can take you out for lunch and it will be much less crowded too.

chickydoo · 27/02/2014 14:24

I have worked every Mother's Day for the last 10 years. We each deal with it in our own way.

redcaryellowcar · 27/02/2014 14:24

whilst i think mothers day should be what you want it to be, (ie you want breakfast in bed) could you have a treat day and create some of your own traditions? e.g take dd out somewhere for breakfast, take her to choose you a bunch of flowers. take a picnic somewhere nice for lunch?
i think its less of an event for men and they fail to realise the significance, i suspect the ones who get it have been well trained!

KatyN · 27/02/2014 14:33

We have two seperate mothers' days in our house. one when I spoil my mum (and possibly my mil) and one when it's my turn.

I would just move your mother's day and make sure you DH knows what is expected.

UniS · 27/02/2014 14:35

when is mothers day this year?

manchestermummy · 27/02/2014 14:35

My birthday was on Mother's Day one year: all my spoiling (including lie-ins!) over on one day.

But to you OP - I can see why you feel it's special. You've been blessed.

adeucalione · 27/02/2014 14:42

That is a shame, but he probably didn't realise it was Mothers' Day when he booked the date.

As others have said, do something nice with your DD and then have your special day the following Sunday instead (and if he's got any sense he'll make it really really special).

We've done this before and it works well - restaurants are packed and overpriced on the day itself.

clockwatching77 · 27/02/2014 15:05

I have only had any special treatment twice on mothers day. Apzrt from lunch with mil. Once when it was less than 2 weeks after my mums death. Although we still went out with mil and last year when dc made breakfast in bed.
Tbh I would just forget about mothers day completely now but of course we still have to spent it with mil.
We even announced my last pregnancy on mothers day. Dh had just spent £250 on himself and mil cooed over that but told me I shouldn't expext anything because you are going to have 3dc. Grr.

clockwatching77 · 27/02/2014 15:06

Your dd must be so special. Just enjoy time with her. Going out for breakfast would be fab.

JeanSeberg · 27/02/2014 15:09

I wouldn't have a clue when Mother's Day is so could easily end up booking something else on it.

Can he not get up at 1pm so you can all have a nice afternoon out followed by a pub tea?

PlumpPartridge · 27/02/2014 15:13

Pick a different day, possibly in consultation with your DH.
Announce that it is your own special Mother's day because you are amazing.
Tell your DH that he may not get it but that to you it is a big deal and that you would like him to support you and DD in making it a lovely day.
If, having been made aware of all these points and involved in the date selection, he still doesn't step up, then he is a bit of an arse.

Sometimes we need to very firmly state what it is we want and then go get it

mrsjay · 27/02/2014 15:16

I have had 20 mothers day and he used to work saturday nights too anyway We used to go to Mils my mums and then that was it dds would give me a c ard and then as long as I don't cook i dont really care what we do, you need to relax or take yourself off somewhere for the day and do what you want

mrsjay · 27/02/2014 15:17

when is mothersday

Original poster

CatThiefKeith · 27/02/2014 16:10

Sorry for the absence. It's the 30th March.

I know I'm massively over reacting really, thank you for being gentle!

I shall pick another date.

OP posts:

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