To smear Vaseline on ExH windscreen??

[EverythingsDozy]

I caught my H in my bed with another woman on NYE. He has left his piece of crap car on my driveway since. It is unusable, no tax, MOT or insurance. He will have to trailer it away and then work on it to get it going again.

I originally wanted to smash it to pieces but a friend of mine told me I would probably get done for criminal damage.
I know it's petty and silly but is it unreasonable to want to do it (and be considering it?!)

Superglue the locks

cover the top with cannabis seeds.

No Bruno, it's a rented house of which he has taken himself off the tenancy.

He's not on the tenancy and the car is in his name, untaxed but not SORNed?

You're in a great position! Just report it

Just report it. It's been dumped after all, he hasn't got a leg to stand on.

I would give him a weeks notice though and tell him what I plan to do. That way he can't try to call the police (even though they'll just laugh at him).

I second shunting it onto the road and let it be dealt with , if it's SORNed does it have to be parked on private land (ie if it's on the road will it be towed?)
And make sure you report back

What Jolleigh said.

I love DampWellies suggestions.