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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I the only one who doesn't have a cleaner??

235 replies

Hotmad · 26/02/2014 09:48

At my mum & baby group the other day consisting of new mums only, I found out they all had hired cleaners!! I don't have one as I can't afford to have one. I just said, I live in a pig sty at present :)
I looked up cleaners costs and locally (london) they charge about £12-£15 per hour, Is this a lot do you think? I might pay myself £10 per hour and do it myself!

OP posts:
WillieWaggledagger · 26/02/2014 12:02

lol ragwort

tbh we're not just paying for the cleaning, we're also paying not to have to think about the cleaning iyswim. i'm not someone who finds cleaning therapeutic, i find having a clean house therapeutic Grin

MaryWestmacott · 26/02/2014 12:35

Alas, my SMP has just run out so my cleaner has had to go until I go back to work, and I really rather miss her already. Sad

I find the 'lazy' comments interesting, you are talking about woman with pre-school DCs in the house all day being lazy for not cleaning. If those woman went back to work full time and hired a nanny, no one would ever expect the nanny to clean - possibly tidy up after the DCs, make the DCs meals, wash the DCs clothes (and clearly DCs only), but hoovering, dusting, scrubbing the bath - absolutely not. It would be considered very cheeky and unreasonable for an employer to expect them to do that, nannies are paid to look after children, it's clearly understood that looking after a child as a nanny is a proper, full time job commanding salaries in the £30k mark around here. However, do exactly the same thing all day for free for your own DCs, and suddenly you've got hours of free time, you don't do anything, you can run all the family errands, and if you aren't cleaning the house it's not because you are busy with the children, but because you are lazy.

JackShit · 26/02/2014 13:01

Can we quit with this notion that those of us who can't afford the luxury of cleaners are somehow spending elsewhere on hairdos, manicures, clothes and meals out?!

Different fucking universe on here, it really is.

MaryWestmacott · 26/02/2014 13:09

Jack - to be fair, I know several woman who don't have cleaners who say that they couldn't afford one and consider it to be 'posh', yet do spend £100+ each time they have their hair done (and go every 6 weeks), who do have a lot of new clothes and eat out reguarly - not saying those choices are wrong, just that for a lot of people, they assume that you spend the same way they do on everything else.

Right now, we can't afford a cleaner at all, but when I dropped from my enhanced mat pay from work to SMP, something had to go, and it was the eating out first and then I started home dying my hair rather than a salon colour. Sadly, now SMP has also stopped, we don't have anywhere to cut back and keep the cleaner. Our home will be a bit of a mess until I go back to work...

FudgefaceMcZ · 26/02/2014 13:12

I want a cleaner. I could theoretically maybe afford one for maybe 2 hours a fortnight or something based on your prices, but I worry that they'd never manage to clean through the piles of crap everywhere in the house. Can you get house organisers too? Or possibly some kind of behaviourist trainer who comes in and conditions your children not to leave lego and clean pyjamas all over the floor?

WillieWaggledagger · 26/02/2014 13:14

jack i don't read it like that at all, more that people are stating what they prioritise below having a cleaner when it comes to what they want to spend their money on, within their own means. i don't see it as an assumption that everyone is in a position to make those choices

Yonineedaminute · 26/02/2014 13:16

mary indeed. I told my sister I was getting a cleaner and she was all cats bum mouth about it as she thinks its an unnecessary luxury......

This conversation happened via Skype as she is currently in Asia in the middle of a 9 month round the world trip!
Grin

WoodBurnerBabe · 26/02/2014 13:17

I have a cleaner. She comes every other week and spends 3 hours scrubbing the place, then I can spot clean in between her visits. She blitzes the bathroom, including behind and under everything and same for the kitchen. She then hoovers and mops all the floors. The fact that she is coming makes me tidy up the night before. Costs me £50 a month and well worth it. I'm not a SAHM though, I have 3 aged 6,4 and 1 and work 4 days a week,

ILoveWooly · 26/02/2014 13:19

We used to have a cleaner then we downsized to move closer to family so no longer needed a house big enough to host another family for a week at a time. It is just over £1500 a year we have saved.

I do however have my ironing done twice a month so I just need to keep on top of school uniforms and essentials the rest of the time. It costs us £20 a fortnight and I think money well spent as I hate ironing but I also hate having a huge ironing pile!

WillieWaggledagger · 26/02/2014 13:24

if it's within your means i don't think people (women) should have to justify having a cleaner or any other domestic help whatever their circumstances. i know i personally am judged (DP as a man is not) among some of our acquaintances for having a cleaner despite not having children and generally having enough time to be able to do it, but choosing to contract out, though it is a choice we have made as a couple. it's so much social conditioning. a couple of women have implied that they would feel guilty about it because it would suggest they weren't fulfilling their role.

i know we are lucky to be able to afford to do so, we might not be able to if our circumstances change, but it is something i prioritise above other expenditures. we're all different and have different circumstances

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 26/02/2014 13:24

Come judge me ??

I have a cleaner, no children and currently not working.
I am waiting for back surgery so there's quite a few bits I can't do but what the hell. We can afford it and I'm helping to keep someone in a job.

We're defiantly keeping them on after I'm better and I have noticed that OH (a big hoarder and clutterbug) has started sorting himself out a bit more too.

capsium · 26/02/2014 13:35

I don't have a cleaner.

I would be mortified. Not because I think having a cleaner is embarrassing but because I would hate someone else to be clearing up our mess. I feel like this even on holiday with room service. My favourite holidays have no staff in the accommodation. Only then can I truly relax slob out. Grin

I think this is because my parents would be a little too disgusted at mess in a judgy type of way. I always remember my mother, complete with cat's bum expression, criticizing a neighbour's skirting boards! And depreciating comments like when they have invited themselves round to somebody's house and they have still have laundry around waiting to be put away, in a poor (then always woman's name) they must be busy...

I tend to snap at her if she tries to help me, treat her strictly as a guest. Maybe not ideal I know but at least she is not expected to pull her weight. Cunning ploy maybe? Devious baggage!!!

truelymadlysleepy · 26/02/2014 13:46

I love my cleaner. I tidy before she comes & clean the loos then we blitz the house together. I work, I can afford it & I certainly don't feel guilty.

nokidshere · 26/02/2014 13:59

I love my cleaner too!

On Thursday nights we all put away all the piles of crap that have been accumulating all week, so the house is uncluttered and clear (we don't clean). She comes for 2 hours on Friday and cleans the whole house. Then we don't have to spend the weekend cleaning.

Bliss. I'm not wealthy, I don't have lots of "spare" cash but I she is worth every penny to make our work/home balance more acceptable for us all.

Hotmad · 26/02/2014 14:00

Reading all this made me just go clean my kitchen while DD unusually slept in pram for 30 mins!!!

OP posts:
Anatana · 26/02/2014 14:01

I vastly prefer doing my paid job to cleaning so am happy to exchange X amount of time spent working for Y amount of cleaning done by someone else.

I have no problem with someone coming in and 'poking about' in my house. Grin We always had cleaners and so on coming in when I was a child so perhaps it's just what you're used to. MIL, I know, because we have discussed getting her a cleaner to help her out a bit as she has quite bad arthritis, feels very uncomfortable at the idea.

ILoveWooly · 26/02/2014 14:04

Go you! I try to break it into small tasks and not have a weekend of cleaning ahead of me. I work freelance so home most days but also have DD2 most days too!

I can have a load of washing on whilst making a coffee, put dishes away whilst making a call etc.

ThatBloodyWoman · 26/02/2014 14:07

I don't have a cleaner.

It's not too much of a problem since I seldom clean.....

Writerwannabe83 · 26/02/2014 14:14

I really, really, really, really want a cleaner but DH won't agree to it Hmm

Twilight23 · 26/02/2014 14:15

I have a thing about bathrooms and kitchens being clean as well as doors and surfaces. I cringe at using grimy bathrooms. I can understand when public toilets are grimy but no excuse in a home.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 26/02/2014 14:18

I used to be a cleaner and one lady was a SAHM. I certainly never thought she was lazy, the woman never stopped!

I'm now considering picking up a few extra hours to pay for a cleaner myself. Had one years ago and she was fab.

NinjaCow · 26/02/2014 14:20

YANBU- no cleaner here, although no reason to- it's just DD and me. I know no one with a cleaner either.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/02/2014 14:22

I would love a cleaner!

Just someone to Hoover, dust and clean the bathrooms once a week would be lovely. We both work and have DS and struggle to keep on top of it.

WillieWaggledagger · 26/02/2014 14:27

twilight23 i think everyone wants kitchen and bathroom being clean in particular don't they?

learnasyougo · 26/02/2014 14:49

vintagecake my friend is oh similar situ as you. I say, don't you feel in the slightest bit guilty about having a cleaner. I see the work performed by a paid cleaner to be like all the other things we technically could do for ourselves but choose to pay someone else to do, be that buying ready made cakes, clothes, getting someone in to fix the leaky tap or paint the hall. employing a cleaner is no lazier than, say, ordering a takeaway and our provides paid work to someone. You are exchanging time for money in paying someone else to do something you could do yourself but would prefer not to. I say this as someone who had never had a cleaner. It's no biggie in my book.

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