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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep ds in a rear facing seat?

226 replies

Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:09

Dh thinks so as ds2 (22months) fusses and cries a lot and dh thinks his legs are "squashed up".
He wants to turn the seat round so that ds can see more and might not get as upset in his car seat.

Dh said it won't make a difference and that he drives carefully but I pointed out that it might not be dh that causes an accident heaven forbid one happens and that it all depends where the impact is etc and so if rear facing is meant to be safer I want to keep ds that way.

Dh thinks I'm being over protective and has said he is concerned about ds legs being so restricted.

AIBU

OP posts:
MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 18:43

They also can travel without a carseat in a taxi. Doesnt mean they should.

An under three year old needs a proper harness.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 18:54

What difference does age make to safety? That's a genuine question by the way - why is an 18kg 2yo not safe in a seatbelt but a similar sized 3 yo is?

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 18:58

Ill be rear facing dd til 4, so I dont think a three year old should be in a hbb either.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 18:59

I see, so the problem as far as you see it is that the child is forward facing rather than the seat belt and age being a problem?

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 19:02

No. The problem is a small child is being restrained only by an adult seatbelt. Rear or forward (though mypreference is rearward), imo a full harness is needed. The seat dd has will keep her in a full harness til 25kg. It so happens that it is a rear facing carseat.

The poster who is securing her toddler with an adult belt imo should purchase a seat that uses a safer restraint. It is my opinion that an adult seatbelt is not safe enough to secure a small child.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:05

An 18kg child is hardly small though, that's what I don't understand about your objection.

Why is an adult seatbelt not safe enough at 18kg? Is it safe enough for an 18kg 4 yo but not a younger child? Or do you believe all children should be in that specific seat that is harnessed until 25kg?

NewBlueCoat · 26/02/2014 19:07

I don't think a 2 year old should be secured using just an adult seatbelt. regardless of weight. a 2 year old cannot comprehend the safety implications of sitting straight and sitting still. and their behaviour is too unpredicatble, and it is too easy to shift out of an adult seatbelt by leaning over, or even undo the seatbelt (I know there are various devices to help with this, I have used most of them)

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:09

Surely that depends on the individual child? Mine has never tried to undo a seatbelt.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 19:10

Not in that specific seat, no, but should be harnessed as absoloutley long as possible.

It is possible to harness til 25kg (in more than the one seat I own). Therefore an adult seatbelt is not the last resort.

As the pp said too, a five point harness will protect a younger child against themselves too.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:13

OK, so not a specific known safety concern with using a seatbelt for children over 18kg? I was wondering if there was something I hadn't read about.

onetwothreefourfive · 26/02/2014 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HRHQueenMe · 26/02/2014 19:20

vj32 there are lots of very good places to buy erf seats, even mothercare stock them, and kiddicare. For more choice look at www.securatot.co.uk Mums Kirsty and Jayne are a wealth of information and run a fab company. Ive broken my seat twice, by overleaning on it, and both times they have sent a courier to collect my seat and had it back repaired within a week.
Www.rearfacing.co.uk has a list of stockists.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 19:21

Prof Lynne Bilston has done research into adult belts used on 2-5 year olds (and generally children under 150cms) with the outcome that adult seatbelts have, can and most likely will cause damage to a childs abdomen. Sometimes fatally.

She argues that children up to the age of seven should be restrained using a five point harness.

NewBlueCoat · 26/02/2014 19:21

In general 2 year olds are not able to sit safely using an adult seatbelt. Which is why child seats exist.

I do agree that there should be a wider range of seats which are harnessed to 25 kg. dd1 was a 98th centile child and it does make life tricky. Dd2 was the opposite hence rf til almost 7. She's only just hit 18kg recently!

HRHQueenMe · 26/02/2014 19:21

onetwo i have two kids in besafe combis in the back, my oldest outgrew his, but they never had problems with their legs either, there is ample space, my 3.5 y old is very comfy still.

crashbangboom · 26/02/2014 19:22

Loving all the educated people on this thread.

Rearfacing here too. I don't give a damn what other people!e think. My child will be in safest mode of travel til at least 4.

crispyporkbelly · 26/02/2014 19:25

BeSafe have released a rearfacing seat up to 25kg called the Besafe Izi Plus Here

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:30

A HBB is a child seat - not sure why a child would be less able to sit safely in one with a seat belt than with a harness.

Honestly, I understand the concern about babies/small toddlers being turned forward facing too soon, but when people express such horror at an 18kg child sitting in a car seat appropriate for their size it makes them look a bit fanatical.

How much of a risk is there, really, of an 18kg child in a HBB being flung straight through the windscreen?

NewBlueCoat · 26/02/2014 19:36

It's not the thought of an 18kg child sittingn in a hbb that bothers me. It's the thought if an 18kg toddler

I'm very gal your toddler hasn't yet fiddled with the seatbelt. Or had a tantrum whole sitting in their hbb. But that doesn't mean it won't ever happen. A 2 year old is not mature enough to sit in a hbb, imo. And I had a very mature and sensible 2 year old, so not just coming at this from a position of curious nightmare toddler.

Ensuring safety Ina car is not fanatical.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:39

Presumably the mother who is putting her 2.8 year old in a HBB is better placed to decide if he's capable of sitting safely Hmm

NewBlueCoat · 26/02/2014 19:45

Hmm indeed.

The classes of child seat exist for a reason, you know Hmm Hmm

Or do you think hey decided on the different styles and types of restraint on a whim?

I know how tricky it can be when you have a child at the top end of the weight ranges, a they aren't actually old enough to move up a seat but are too heavy to stay in their curret seat. There should definitely be more seats which stay harness to 25kg. There are more on the market now, and hopefully his situation will improve.

TheScience · 26/02/2014 19:53

The classes of seat and restraint are based on size/weight - the age ranges stated are approximate.

Theonlyoneiknow · 26/02/2014 20:01

Apart from the TWE can someone let me know which seats stay harnessed up to 25kgs? Doesn't necessarily have to be RF, DS was in his TWE until over aged four but his Sister needs his now and I can't get two RF seats on our car

crashbangboom · 26/02/2014 20:06

Only rf til 25kg..

Chippednailvarnish · 26/02/2014 20:13

Thescience have a read about internal decapitation. The reasons an 18kg four year old is okay in a HBB is their head to body proportion. Unlike a toddler whos head will be proportionally bigger than the rest of their body.