AIBU to want to go for lunch on my own on my birthday?

[Cucumberscarecrow]

It is my birthday next week. I have been under a lot of stress recently and am feeling very jaded. As a birthday treat, I am leaving my kids in nursery and taking a half day off work. My DH wants to join me for lunch but I would rather have a half day when I have no one else to talk to or think about.

AIBU and will I look very sad eating on my own? I am planning to go to a proper restaurant (not remotely posh but not a cafe).

That's exactly how I like to celebrate my birthday, I thoroughly enjoy going out on my own .

Yanbu

But I can see why your dh would want to spoil you on your birthday

Could you take the whole day - go to a cafe on your own & shopping in the morning & then meet him for lunch ?

No Pussy, my DS starts school this year so all my annual leave is allocated already for school holidays and proper holidays.

Can you have dinner together in the evening or get a babysitter at weekend?

It's your birthday not his though!

Well it's your birthday, so you should do what you like.

But I can understand that your dh would feel a
upset at bring told he can't join you. I think many partners would feel upset tbh.

Oh that's a good idea Jean. If you cant get a baby sitter tell him he can make you a nice candle lit dinner for the evening.

I did this a few months ago after a large argument with dh about not getting any me time, he was saying that he didn't either, this was 5 days after he had got back from a lads ski holiday [hmmm]. I took the whole day and went clothes shopping and had the longest leisurely lunch ever with just me and a paper in Betty's (posh tea room in North Yorkshire), no one batted an eyelid, it was utter heaven!

I think my very best birthdays have been the ones where I've taken myself off to a hotel or retreat in either a new city or a well loved place I hadn't yet had the chance to enjoy fully. Usually for at least a couple of days.

Your problem, I surmise, is how to do this when someone else wants to join you. Is your DH part of the stress or a blameless bystander? If the latter, could you perhaps suggest something you could do together as your "real" birthday treat? If the former - just go.

You don't sound as if you get much time to yourself.... Hope you have a wonderful, peaceful birthday.

Thanks Zero. My DH is part of the problem, albeit blamelessly. He broke his leg recently so instead of sharing the childcare with him, I have been doing all the childcare, husband-care and a near full-time high stress job. I have been dutiful and sympathetic but just want a half day off away from all my charges.

Do it! Tell him you'd love a romantic evening meal and he's in charge of spoiling you on that part of the evening. Then have a lovely lunch and some shopping all on your tod. Enjoy and happy birthday!