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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never have adult tv on when children are around?

109 replies

justwondering72 · 24/02/2014 12:09

My ds's are 6 and 3. They watch a bit of kids tv - cbeebies and nickelodeon usually. DH and I rarely get the chance to watch anything while they are up during the week, post dinner and pre bedtime being pretty hectic. But at the weekend we sometimes have the BBC news on during the day, or I might put something on while doing the ironing. Inevitably it attracts their attention even if they are doing something else at the same time. And I find my hand hovering over the remote to try and stop them hearing about wars, refugees, murders, missing children or any mildly violent or sexy scenes.

Am I being precious? Should I be letting them find out that the world isn't all mr maker and deadly 60? And being there to talk to them about what they see? Or are they still to young for these harsh realities of life? I'm not talking about horror or real adult entertainment, more like pre watershed programmes.

OP posts:

AscoyneDAscoyne · 24/02/2014 13:10

Captain I also agree with you. It's usually kids tv in the day here however I find it a little odd to completely shield children from adult tv and I wouldn't shelter my 4yo from the news unless it was a particular upsetting story. Adult tv isn't all sex, drugs and violence so why feed them a constant stream of peppa pig and cbeebies?

cory · 24/02/2014 13:10

I am not particularly fussy about sex and nudity, but I didn't see the point in a 5yo watching children his own age being torn to bits or starving to death.

The bit about children in other parts of the world having to deal with it doesn't really cut it for me: there has been plenty of evidence that children in war zones come to harm through having witnessed these things and refugee children often need psychiatric help to process what they have seen. If it's not good for them, why would it be good for mine? I'm not going to starve them either, because children in other parts of the world have to deal with malnutrition.

I did not attempt to have my dc totally ignorant of the miseries of the world, but when they were little I preferred to have them filtered in a way they could understand, rather than presented in graphic images intended for adults.

Now that they are teenagers, of course it is different: ds, in particular, takes a great deal of interest in the outside world and I am very glad of that. But then he is old enough to handle it.

peggyundercrackers · 24/02/2014 13:10

we dont have TV on during daytime as DD is out and so are we, however we dont switch over if something is on the news, its RL...and we watch whatever we want to watch.

cant believe scented you are switching over when your 15yr old comes in though and there is something on TV you dont want them to see... thats a bit much as no doubt they have seen most things anyway.

RoganJosh · 24/02/2014 13:11

We don't have adult tv on and I sometimes turn the radio off if it's a particularly difficult story.

We do talk about people who don't have enough food etc.

I'd probably start with Newsround if I wanted them to be exposed to news.

MomentForLife · 24/02/2014 13:14

I watch some 'grown up' tv when DD is around. She finds it so boring and tends to walk off. I do think the news is a bit graphic sometimes, some footage on at 6 should be on the 10 o'clock news, I think.

Rommell · 24/02/2014 13:20

^If it's not good for them, why would it be good for mine? ^

They aren't living it though, are they? I wouldn't starve my son either, but I don't see what's wrong with letting him watch the news. I can distinctly remember as a young child watching that famous report of the famine in Ethiopia and actually I'm glad that my parents let us watch it as we all tucked into our tea. It had a profound effect on me and I pretty much immediately started to do things to raise money to send to Oxfam, and continued to do so for several years. As I got older, I got more involved in the work of NGOs culminating in spending several years as an NGO worker (not a gap year sort of thing - I mean, useful work) and I still do voluntary work now on the coalface in the UK. All of which might have happened anyway, but just that one news report was the catalyst for me and which I wouldn't have seen had my parents switched over.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 24/02/2014 13:23

I clearly remember watching the Iran-Iraq War and Live Aid appeals on the Eithiopian famine on TV, and I would have been 5-7 then. My DH was apparently obsessed with the Falklands War and followed the ships and troops in great detail, so he would have been 4-5. Neither of us are scarred by it, although I do remember being scared of the Panorama theme tune

Original poster

justwondering72 · 24/02/2014 13:28

We don't ever have it on during the day through the week, no interest in daytime tv, soaps etc. it's really just that post breakfast slump on a Saturday when DH and I would like to watch something other than cartoons. We live overseas so it's a chance to catch up on what's happening in the UK, by watching the news live or on the IPlayer. As many of you have said its partly to reclaim some grown up time on the tv, to show the children that its not just for them, and that there is something other than cbeebies on it! If im ironing in the bedroom at the weekends I like to watch something in the IPad - I can see the Musketeers being perfect for this slot! But it's post watershed, little bits of sex and violence and I do hover a bit if I see children approaching me ...

OP posts:

WaffilyVersatile · 24/02/2014 13:31

I have an 8 yr old and a 12 yr old. We watch the news, I feel they are old enough now to have an interest in the world and that's what I think televisions main job is really.
I watch OBEM with them (I am expecting), we watch a lot of national geographic channel and those sorts of channels, we watch dragons den. I tend to look for what I feel to be educational and entertaining programmes which might be of interest and record them rather than leaving it to chance. The only things the 8yr old actually asks to watch is Countdown and Sofia the first.

The 12 yr old has a tv in his room on which he watches dvds (no aerial)

NinjaCow · 24/02/2014 13:43

DD is 3- we watch the news but tbh she normally doesn't pay attention for most of it- she likes the sport bits because they're funny apparently, and some of the more cheerful stuff will attract her attention, but it's on in the background more than being her focus. For animal documentaries, she's fine about it all, I mean, we've seen cats kill mice and so on, and she doesn't seem to mind much, she feels sad for the animal which died and moves on, tbh.

Owllady · 24/02/2014 13:47

I let my 6 yr old watch Alan partridge

PikaAchooo · 24/02/2014 13:48

I don't really watch adult TV when DD is up. For one she would talk all through it.

I do sometimes have the news on and don't censor it. Don't see the point really. I think it's important for children to be exposed to real life.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 24/02/2014 13:48

I have the news on every weekday morning and always have. Ds knows work days=news, and now he even switches it on for me in the morning!
Sometimes he pays attention to stuff on it-he wss inetrested in the floods, and he knows about the trouble in the Ukraine.
Daytime news broadcasts are actually quite carefully edited wrt visual horrors.
We also watched Strictly together.
Same when I was a child-the news was always on, and I tuned it out mostly, although my knowledge of current affairs was probably pretty good actually, and then the big Saturday evening shows-Blind Date or whatever would be on too. (I must have been totally oblivious to the innuendo!)
Look, there are real children all over the world actually living in war zones, and dealing with this stuff in real life, so I think a 6/7 year old who is safely removed from it can deal with knowing a little bit.
I also think it's important for children to understand that the world is big, and that it doesn't revolve around them.

BlueDesmarais · 24/02/2014 13:54

I'll put on an adult program that is relevant to their interests - nature documentary, sometimes Top Gear, some sort of documentary about mining machinery, the Olympics - but not the news. It's so much more graphic these days. They don't just say "the woman was raped", they'll give you a full on timeline, from which piece of clothing was removed first, which acts took place, in which position, injuries suffered, number of stitches, what the rapist said. Way too much. My son gets really upset at anything remotely violent or scary - he won't even watch Ninja Turtles or Ben 10 - so I wouldn't even think to put the news on.

My mother used to put me in front of adult shows, thinking I 'didn't know' or 'didn't care'. I wasn't stupid, though. I ended up with a lot of upsetting messages about what a 'normal' schoolgirl was supposed to be doing, and there are plenty of other kids (and teachers) at school who will reinforce those messages.

MinesAPintOfTea · 24/02/2014 13:55

PMSL at "Where's Stockport?" I know its a serious topic but still....

We very rarely watch dramas anyway, so I just remind DH occasionally not to put on a WW1 documentary. I doubt DS will suffer from watching Sewing Bee or a food program other than from boredom

bronya · 24/02/2014 13:58

I only put on kids tv, sport, top gear or things like that where there will be nothing inappropriate. After bedtime there's time to watch those things!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/02/2014 13:58

We have bbc breakfast on in the morning, my 2 year old couldn't be less interested.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 24/02/2014 14:00

No wonder children grow up so entitled these days if they are used to the world revolving around them!

We watch films, sport, wildlife programs, cookery/magazine type shows, Strictly, and we have the news on during the day sometimes. If something upsets them then we talk about it, if they have questions then we answer in a factual and age-appropriate way.

I'm pretty stunned at the level of molly-coddling on this thread.

gordyslovesheep · 24/02/2014 14:03

Another odd bod here. I obviously wouldn't expose them to the delights of my zombie classics but I don't sensor the news or other adult things

I find it tends to lead to some good discussions and sharing of info ...they are 11, 9 and 5.

They are very fond of adult stuff such as this is Hindu, the ruder bits ho over the younger ones head

As for a child seeing two people under the covers in bed I am baffled at why you would shield their eyes ...at 4 they probably wouldn't even notice

gordyslovesheep · 24/02/2014 14:04

Jinsy not Hindu

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/02/2014 14:06

I forgot about Strictly. My DS loves it, he dances to it, it's so funny! I can't even begin to think why he shouldn't watch it.

SomethingkindaOod · 24/02/2014 14:11

We always have done with a few exceptions. Anything overly graphic or scary gets turned over or they would be encouraged to leave the room. Very distressing news reports would get turned over as well, not so much now though.
We had to stop DS watching outnumbered. He was getting ideas...

caruthers · 24/02/2014 14:15

Apart from the obvious blood gore and porn TV is fine, and as long as they don't watch too much of it that's fine too.

Davidhasselhoffstoecheese · 24/02/2014 14:15

My kids watch kids tv only plus the odd wildlife documentary. I'd be happy for them to watch a news programme specifically for children

Davidhasselhoffstoecheese · 24/02/2014 14:16

My eldest likes historical programmes

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