to think very few people have YEARS of sleep-deprivation with kids?

[drivenfromdistraction]

I have 3 kids, aged 6, 4 and 2. The middle one is a fantastic sleeper (since the age of two, was dreadful before that) - shuts his eyes at 6.30pm and opens them again at 6.30 am. If he was my only child, I would be very smug and think I'd done this with my fab routines.

The other two - different story. Youngest still wakes at night 4 or 5 nights a week and needs resettling, which takes an hour or more and leaves me wide awake. Eldest has always been an early waker (5am-ish) and now is struggling to get to sleep, and waking in the night with 'bad dreams' two or three nights a week and then taking hours to get back to sleep.

For seven years, I have almost never had an uninterrupted night. This is unusual, isn't it? Other people don't seem to be sleep-deprived like this. I have just taken the older two to school for the first day after half-term, all the other parents were making comments like 'Oh, it's hard to get up early again after the break, isn't it?' Wtf? I have been up before 6 every day of half-term as usual (either the eldest or the youngest awake and usually both) plus being woken in the night.

Are there other parents like me out there or am I alone?!

Great, I am pleased you know, lots of people have misunderstood our sleep disturbance and told us it was something it wasn't. I hate the idea of ignorant HCP's putting others at risk of brain damage and death. If people are told and they don't act on it, no skin off my nose.

It's levels of sleep deprivation. I can cope with being woken a couple of times a night if they go straight back to sleep, I can cope with earlyish waking although with dc1 he is allowed to out his bedside light on and read if it's early (has a gro clock) so he isn't a problem now. What I can't deal with is hourly wakings and trying to get them back to sleep, yes I'm looking at you dc3.

Not unusual at all. Didn't sleep before they arrived due to horrendous sciatica and haven't had (save one or two nights here or there) a good nights sleep in 10 years.

Purplepoodle - exactly! I can cope with one waking in the night of up to an hour plus 5.30 am start to the day. I cannot cope with multiple wakings, it takes me so long to get back to sleep that I get almost no sleep.

I'm a great believer in not-too-early bedtimes! It's much easier to get to sleep and stay asleep if you are tired. Some DC are expected to eat their last meal and go to bed so early that it is unsurprising that they don't last all night. And natural bedding (100% cotton sheets with no toxic prints, feather duvets and pillows, a good quality mattress, 100% cotton pyjamas or nightie with no buttons or zips) are much better for heat regulation. Being the wrong temperature is a frequent cause of insomnia.

But, aside from that general but not universal tip, I do think sleep is quite personal and that what makes for a long comfortable night varies from child to child.

Yes, I think DS1 may need a later bedtime, which is a bit of a blow, as that 7.30pm - 9pm slot is the only 'off duty' time we get, so was hoping it would last a bit longer. I suppose, if their sleep improves, I will be able to stay up a bit later myself - at the moment I am usually snoring on the sofa by 8.30pm (wild child).

I've had nearly 9 years of sleep deprivation. Ds1 has never slept through the night, he is nearly 9, Ds2 has had patches of sleeping well and patches of sleeping badly due to health problems he had. At one point I regularly survived on 2 hours broken sleep. I say survived, I got terrible post natal depression and eventually had a breakdown. It has taken me the best part of 5 years to recover from and I am still no where near back to normal. I rarely drive now as I never feel I am safe to do so.

Last night ds1 woke 3 times between 11pm and 2.30am with nightmares, needing the loo (ours is downstairs and he's too scared to go on his own even though we leave lights on), ds2 woke at 2am throwing a hissy fit for some unknown reason (thats unusual for him) then the little buggers were both up at 5.30am (they are always early risers). That is a fairly good night for me!

None of my friends really understand as now their kids are older they only have a very few occassional bad nights when their kids are ill. We have tried all kinds with our children over the years, but we have never found the answer to getting them to sleep through.

I am very lucky that my mum has ds1 one night most weekends, otherwise I think I may have died by now.

DS1 is 16 - there has not been one solitary night in the last 16.5 years that he has not woken me up at some point or another.

He has ASD and has always slept poorly - but cannot go back to sleep until he has spoken to us to check everything is OK for him to go back to sleep IYSWIM!

I had 2 years, but that was with only one child. The other slept well

Over 2 years I mean

DS is 4 1/2 and hasn't mastered sleeping through the night. We have tried everything and it is taking it's toll. Feel constantly exhausted. Every morning I wake up feeling shattered. I really feel for people who have had longer than 4 years!

Ours were horrific until dc2 was 2 ish. So four years of awful. But I have no reserves, say one has a night mare or wets the bed, I'm done for the next day or so.

So I guess it is four bad years followed by almost three years of running on empty.

#shouldhavehadacareerandcats

Another one here. Everyone said weaning would help, then it was walking, then when he started school...

In the end he slept through for the first time at 5.

Well nearly five years here, ds aged nearly five gets up once or twice every night and dd aged nearly 2 comes in with us around 1am every night
I'm so tired I dream of a full nights sleep and a lie in until midday like the pre dc days

Again, please stop transferring your behaviour on to me.

Are you aware of Bendy girl, the high profile blogger who has EDS? It is quite a common term used amongst the community.

We had about 5 years of it. It is gruelling and relentless and you are just too knackered to have the clarity of mind to think about ways of resolving it. Now we are in the teenage years and have the opposite problem!

13+ years here so far.

The main culprit is my 11yr-old who has ASD. On a good night his melatonin will work and he will fall asleep by 9pm and only wake up three times. On bad nights he's still awake until gone 2am, crying because he's so tired but unable to sleep.

We had years of it but then we did have 4 children an average of 2 years apart. None of them were good sleepers when they were babies & toddlers. I admit is was partly my own fault for breatfeeding them off to sleep and having them sleep in my bed just through exhaustion and doing what seemed easiest at the time. they are all great now though !

I've not had it nearly as bad as most of you on here. No1 has always been a fantastic sleeper; no2 didn't sleep through until she was three and we finally were prescribed strong enough steroids to deal with her eczema. We always took the lazy option and just brought her into bed with us though. It's helped (me, at least) that I'm a deep sleeper, so while her night time fidgeting almost always wakes MrJ it rarely wakes me. She's seven now and still has periods where she'll come into us most nights.

Tutu, for quite a while after she was out of nappies at night we kept a potty in her room, so she could use that rather than waking us to escort her to the loo at night. It didn't entirely work; she'd use the potty and then come up to get into our bed, but at least we didn't need to leave our sleep quite so far behind. Would something similar help your No1. A camping toilet or something similar in his room to use at night?

5.3yrs of it so far.
DS didn't sleep through till he was 3.5. But has been OKish since then, sleeping though most nights.
DD is 3.5 now. Has never slept through, OK maybe the once...when I was away, and also a couple of nights when the in-laws have had her. Even DS, who didn't sleep through till till 3.5, slept through when I was in hospital having DD, 2 days in hospital and both nights he slept through apparently.
It seems that if I am away from them, they sleep through

The only nights I've had that I've slept 8hrs without interruption is the nights I've spend away from them...maybe 5 in total with both kids.

7 year old with autism. Has never slept through and currently awake for about 4 hours in middle of night or wakes at 2am and doesn't go back to sleep (and loud with it). This is with sleep medication.

.... What about sleep deprivation without kids - I've none at home but since my physical health took a nose dive and bouts of stress & low mood I've not had a solid eight hours in 8 years. Some nights as little as 1 1/2 and best is 6 ish but will wake regularly.

Anyone who suffers has my sympathies - it sucks and affects your life in so many ways.

Nearly 15 yrs here too. Daughter severely disabled, though my 6 yr old can be dreadful too. It's only the middle one who has ever slept
I look 100

5 and a half years and going here.

Eldest is 7. He was a decent sleeper, started sleeping though at 5-6 months and apart from a few wobbles kept sleeping until 18 months ish when he started with really, really, seriously bad night terrors. Those carried on and on and on. He would have a terror in every bloody sleep cycle all night long unless we somehow managed to wake him properly and interrupt it. It was hell. During all of that dd was born and she never bloody slept (she has issues, I know she has issues. Consultant won't believe she has issues). Dd still has disturbed sleep age 5 but at least now she jsut rolls over and goes back to sleep herself. Which is a very good thing because we now have ds2 who also never bloody sleeps. Don't know what I've done wrong! He will be 2 next month. By At least dd went to bed ok by this age. she woke 10 times a night or so (no exaggeration) but by 2 she went back off with a pat on the back. Ds2 wakes and screams blue murder, demands milk (still bf) and generally refuses to settle. He won't go to bed of an evening either. Of course the older ones wake up too for various reasons but that is jsut part of childhood and doens't happen every night. Jsut stuff like bad dreams, growing pains etc.

Am definitely at the point where I need to sort ds2 out. I can cope with him waking at night, I really can. I don't mind that. At age 2 if he needs comfort at night I will happily give it but I do, desperately need him to go to bed of an evening. I'm a student and I am really struggling with not being able to study in the evenings.