To ask how do you make your 3 year old walk nicely with you??

[lollipoppi]

Please tell me your secret!

I see mums strolling hand in hand with their toddlers, around town centres and supermarkets, the toddlers just happily walking besides their mums an dads whilst they look at clothes, or decide what loaf of bread to buy.
How the fook do you do that?

I'm the mum that is constantly running after my 3yo DS, whilst he runs riot around the shops, with disapproving looks from strangers in a "can't you keep control of your son" kind of look, and my honest answer is "no"

So please, please tell me your secrets!

We have a buggy board which he actually likes going on, but as soon as he has had enough he bolts!

Luckily he is very good when it comes to roads, he will stop at the road and wait for me, however he will literally RUN to the road before he stops.

Perseverance !! When I fell pregnant with my daughter my son was 2 so would take him for walks to wear him out so I could have my scan whilst he napped (didn't have readily available babysitters ). The more I did this the less he wanted to use his pushchair (or trolley when at supermarkets ) so kind of went with it to avoid arguments. He was a bit if a nuisance to begin with but by about 2 years 9 months he was good as gold. The distraction technique is a life saver ,pointing out lorries ,or asking him to get me some bread when at the shops. Once the novelty wears off they'll behave ; at the moment it's so exciting for them.

Now he has a balance bike (he's just turned 3) and uses that down the road. Stops me from having to dawdle with him and makes walking more enjoyable for him. We can usually do a trip to the supermarket and back with no problems (30 mins each way ).

You can't trust a 3yr old to always stop when they run to a road

Plus it scares the shit out of drivers

I agree...back to basics.

I'd go with the wrist strap and hold his hand. If you see him fiddling with it, then it's hand hold only.

Be brave and ignore the tantrums. As someone else said, kids tantrum...it's what they do.

Have to agree with luck mostly though obviously enforcing holding hands etc helps. But it's down to the child's personality when they decide to comply with you.

My DS 4 is a very good handholder now but even up to 3.5 he was a horror for running off when tantruming and refusing to stay with me. And I have never given into a tantrum and have always insisted he held my hand or went in the pushchair.

But a firm hold on the wrist does work if they really won't hold your hand.

I have a 2.10 age gap and was determined that I wouldn't get a double buggy. Ended up getting a cheap second hand one just for a few months as DD1 was so bad at walking with me. She's very tall for her age and I got some judgey looks. It showed her I meant business when she refused to walk properly holding my hand or on reins. It is hard if they are naturally inclined to bolt though.

my daughter was great she had a 6ft rule and if there were strangers it reduced to 6" my mom took the piddle one day because she began to run off i shouted CAR PARK RULES!! and she came back and held my hand (normal street walk close car park hold hands and don't scatter everywhere) i pointed out to her that she is mine and i dont want to lose her because of a car driver not seeing her the real truth is i never planned on having kids i only ever had dogs before (and a confused cat) so it didn't occur to me that children are supposed to be different so i taught her recall and fetch (fetch moms drink/phone/chocolate good girl!) i have to say my life as a single parent was fun!

my son is a nightmare really but i have a pram for him to hang on to now which works or i resort to bribery (he loves greggs)

My 3 year old DS is pretty good at holding hands but I do have to talk to him non-stop. He loves playing "I spy" so I sound like a right tit saying enthusiastically "Ok, I spy....a bin! How exciting! Can you spot it?" all the way along the road. On and on.

He does run off occasionally. We have stern words then about why it is dangerous and cars. And if he is particularly objectionable, I threaten him with going in his younger brother's pushchair. He hasn't been in a pushchair for two years so reacts with horror to this. He hated his pushchair and wriststrap so he would rather walk holding hands than go near those.

(And if he really wants to run, I try to take him somewhere he can run around to get it out of his system a bit.)

If the above fails, I always carry yoghurt covered raisins as bribery material because they're like catnip to DS.

Reins, which were great from two to three and a pita at three because I had DD2.

By 3.5 DD1 finally learnt to stay relatively near by (ie she only vanished or ran off 1/2 the time). Fortunately she was born understanding roads are bad news, so I got fairly chilled about her antics. Only problem was drumming into her that she mustn't run out of nursery, because she stopped and the little boy who followed her didn't!

We had our buggy in the loft by 3yo.

DS (now 3.5) holds hands near traffic and walks close to us in shops (with some lagging). Occasionally we will stand him in the trolley to 'drive' if we need to do a quick shop. We go out to the countryside a lot where he can be a free range chicken.

I haven't felt the need for the buggy.

I went with worras approach. He is 4 now and holding hands when near any sort of road, or in busy shopping places simply isn't optional.

You may find a little life backpack better than a wrist strap? I used to put the strap onto my wrist and then hold his hand as normal (or get him to hold buggy) but knowing I could stop him if he attempted to bolt.

I think 3 is too young to be expected to trawl round the shops. I would still have a double buggy so he can relax and play with his toys, have a nap.

May be I am oldfashioned but you do all seem to cause yourselves so much stress. The thought of a three year old running off near cars; I would have a heart attack. Having to constantly bend down to cajole etc.Buggy until at least 4 in my opinion but not a popular one I know.

yep i have a little life back pack, they are great.

i think pkaying games like eye spy and distraction techniques are great but ultimately they have to just learn to walk nicely or go in the buggy.

I told mine stories, so they would stay near me to hear the ending!

Reins are great for places like airports and carparks or busy shopping centres.

I do think there is a bit of luck, too. Some DC are on speed and some are more tractable. You may have an especially tough case on your hands, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Mine are 5 and 9 now but I trained them the same way I trained the dog, bribery and simple commands and if they can't walk nicely they have to hold my hand (not the dog, he has to go back on the lead) the dog's clearly smarter than them though as he mastered walking nicely much faster than the kids

Bribery and threats. Honestly. I haven't had DD in a buggy since 18 months so it was reins, hold hands or humiliating under arm carry.

Tonight, for the first time in months, we had to follow through. She wasn't sensible enough in the restaurant so we walked out. Shocked? Yes. But she won't do it again. They have to know that there are actual consequences. No pizza

Crutches, patience, bribery and personality.

He had to walk free range at 2. I couldn't push the buggy late in pregnancy. Reins and crutches just tangled us up. I couldn't bend to pick him up. I mastered the art of looking bored as hre thrashed, flailed and screamed on the floor. Sometimes bribery was the best option for general well being. It was that or 3 months of being housebound and that would have been worse!

Our local roads are quiet with grass verges between the pavement and road so it's a good area for novice walkers. He is naturally inclined to caution and good at places like road ends. We have certain phrases like "all clear" for crossing. He likes to do things properly and psays attention to his surroundings. These days there's always a back up like the sling or hitching a ride on the pram for when he's tired.

It's a mixture of luck and training.

I believe in treating 3 year olds with respect.

I calmly explain that running away can be dangerous, and that "you must hold mummy's hand at all times. Do you understand?" It really is that simple.

My child holds my hand always, and calmly and nicely walks beside me, 100% of the time.

And then I wake up.

Chocolate buttons. Tbh, she doesn't need reins (she used to have a lovely backpack with reins on) and I'd have choc buttons or a bag of apple pieces or some gummy bears or anything, to bribe or reward her with. Rather like training the puppy

at Bragmatic.

Bragmatic, sounds perfect

Back to basics it is then.
I did have a double buggy but the weight difference between a 3yo and a baby meant it was very hard to push, far less stressful and safer but absolutely exhausting!

I'm going to get one of those back packs with straps on, ordered online last night so no need for a shopping visit!

Our roads are very rural, not too many cars at all, so when walking to the local shop I've never really minded him running ahead as he was always safe, totally made a rod for my own back now though when it comes to busy supermarkets though!

I had two children that slept well, couldn't understand what other parents were complaining about, then my third was a horrendous sleeper, I hadn't done anything differently.

My eldest is such a fussy eater, I used to wonder what I was doing wrong when I saw all these other children eating so well, then I had two more children, both will eat anything, again I didn't do anything differently.

All three of mine have been good at walking by my side, I think I just got lucky!

So my point is don't feel you're doing anything wrong, you just got a bolter, in the same way I got a fussy eater and a bad sleeper. I wouldn't judge if I saw you forcing him in to a pushchair or carrying him screaming along, and yes, as others have said, bribe, bribe, bribe.

I yell like a fishwife! Not all the time, but when normal voice requests get ignored, out comes the fishwife.

I blame DH. He has a habit of he taking ds up to the shopping centre and letting him wander wherever he wants. This usually means when I nip in to get something we have an almighty tantrum because I don't let him wander. Dh has a lot to answer for!

But the back pack reins are great. I make a big thing about him carrying something for me in them, my hairbrush or something and he feels responsible.

Lol. Why does a driver have more safety awareness? I've read the highway code, I used to cycle, I know about stopping distances. Unless a car was to mount the pavement he's perfectly safe (and if one did then we'd all be screwed, so I'm not going to lose sleep over it)