I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, she was talking to me about her lack of sex drive at the moment and admitting that when they had/did have sex a lot of the time her DP is a bit hands and heavy with it. The kind that might be a bit too harsh in delicate areas where less pressure should be used-shall we say.
We got onto a conversation about sex with my DP because I told her sometimes he could be a little like that-especially when over excited or having a drink- she was asking if it was always satisfying and barring a some very drunken and tired incidents on both our parts- I said it was. We got on to orgasms and I admitted that I didn't have one every time but sometimes I was a bit too sensitised for them or just wanted to skip ahead.
We both pretty much agreed on the sensitivity thing but then she asked if ever DP left me unfinished by coming too quickly, especially if he did it while we were just in the foreplay stage. I told her usually no because either I'm not in the mood for more, DP finishes me off or I get out my vibrator or masturbate.
The first two she sees as fine, the second she said seemed really rude to her. Like I was saying DP wasn't enough and surely that's a knock to anyones feelings. She got quite het up about it, I'm not sure if it touched a nerve and maybe her DP has been flying solo but she really saw it as rude and dismissive of y DPs feelings.
AIBU to think that it's not a problem to use the vibrator? Sometime i use it on me, sometimes DP uses it on me- he's there watching- only on a few occasions has I gone elsewhere to do it (usually involving the shower) but he knows I'm doing it and has never said he minded. He called me kinky (he's very vanilla) and told me he liked a woman that knew what she wanted the first time I brought it out.
I do remember being hesitant about bringing it out the first time but if he can have orgasms, why can't I? As I said it's only a small percentage of the time but now I'm wondering if IABU and should speak to DP?