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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my kids my babies?

67 replies

Youwillalwaysbemybaby · 23/02/2014 10:30

OK, we need the MN jury.

My DDs are 3 and 7, and I often refer to them as "the babies" and call them "baby" when we are cuddling or whatever (so not when I am calling for them across a playground)

DP (doesn't live with us, not the kid's dad or in a parental role to them, but he has his own, much older, kids) says that I should stop it (he'll be here to put his side across in a minute) but I think it is nice.

They will always be my babies, even when they are grown up. My mum still calls me and my sisters her babies, and now she calls my daughters her babies too. It was embarrassing as a teenager, but I always secretly liked it.

It's like in that book "Love You Forever" (sob), except I don't plan to climb through their windows when they are adults. They can still have a big cuddle if they want though.

I think it's important for them to be reminded that I will always be here for them, no matter what.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
bluntasabullet · 23/02/2014 11:49

Your DP is the one who is BU, he is not their dad and to quote your original OP "not the kid's dad or in a parental role to them" so doesn't have the right to tell you what he thinks you should, or shouldn't call your children. They are 3 and 7. Not 20 and 23.

To me, calling them babies, is like saying, "I'll always be there for you" "I'll always look after you no matter what" like you could an actual baby.

Shockers · 23/02/2014 11:51

My eldest son hated being called my baby, so I stopped.

MidLifeCrys1s · 23/02/2014 11:56

blunt, the man has a right to an opinion, esp. since it is, in his view, being expressed for the benefit of the children. He's not forcing the issue, as far as I can read, so not being unreasonable. That having been said, I refer to my sons as "the boys" even though, at 24 & 20, they are full grown men. Mind you, I refer to the cats in the same way...

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2014 12:01

Fancy if a mother cannot call her children her babies in private, what a very sad world we live in! Yes they are children but they are also op babies who she carried and gave birth to! My mum still call me her baby (not in public) and I'm 37! It's a term of speech.

HighBrows · 23/02/2014 12:03

Not only do I call my 3 kids my babies I also call my 3 cats my kittens.

I don't care how unreasonable I sound. Op you are not be unreasonable.

MardyBra · 23/02/2014 12:05

It can be a bit twee if overused.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2014 12:06

Not in private though, I don't mind it

TallyGrenshall · 23/02/2014 12:08

I call DS 'baby' sometimes, he's 5 so YANBU but I think there has to be a point where it stops.

My managers DM still calls him 'baby' and he's 57 and she still treats him like a baby and that is just all wrong to me.

I'm not sure of the point I think it should stop though. Hmmm

MidLifeCrys1s · 23/02/2014 12:09

I think, in this instance, no-one is being unreasonable, just having different points of view.

Dwerf · 23/02/2014 12:14

It' not a term I generally use for my kids, even my youngest is now in double digits and I do think it's a bit twee (though nowhere near as bad as the mother I know who refers to her girls as 'the princesses' [vom] )

but, I used to go to a family dinner every week and as me and my sister were leaving to go home my Dad would call out "goodnight my babies!" before giving us each a hug. And that gave me the warmest fuzzies. I may be a grandparent myself, but I'm still my Dad's baby. Smile

thegreylady · 23/02/2014 12:16

I sometimes say that dd who is nearly 40 is my 'baby' as she is my youngest though I wouldn't address her as that. If she is desperately sad or worried she likes a cuddle. It's part of mummishness. I don't think dads do the same. My ds, who is older, is still 'my little boy' in my head though never out loud.
When they were in the stroppy teenage phase I used to say, "I grew you from a seed, you will always be my business!" I think that whatever goes on in your head you need to be aware of what your dc feel. If they are happy to be 'babies' for now then that is fine.

StarGazeyPond · 23/02/2014 12:29

Oh come on, OP - if you're going to do it, do it well...........they are 36 months and 84 months old Grin

SackAndCrack · 23/02/2014 12:32

I have a 2.9 year old and Im always saying "Are you my new born baby?"

Like the twat that I am Grin.

I also have a 7 year old and they are both and always will be my babies.

I have a 22 year old brother and he too is still and will forever more be my gorgeous baby brother.

Your DP is BU.

Original poster
Youwillalwaysbemybaby · 23/02/2014 12:49

I have a sister who was know as 'The Baby' until I had DD1 (sister was 14) who was 'The Baby' until DD2 was born. I don't doubt that the entire family will call DD2 'The Baby' till a cousin happens...

OP posts:
fancyanotherfez · 23/02/2014 21:45

aero she does it in front of others too! I fully admit I have 'Ishoos' with it as my family do it to infantalise the (male, funnily enough) children. My DM does it to my brother and my son and my DGM does it to my 78 year old dad!

nennypops · 23/02/2014 22:07

I'd have been pretty horrified if my parents had called me a baby, and wouldn't do it to my dcs unless I wanted to embarrass them. Not blaming anyone else for doing it, but it just feels icky to me.

deakymom · 23/02/2014 22:23

13/5/1 all my babies and im not the only one who uses it as a term of endearment its obviously something off the ops mom as she said she liked it as a child so she has repeated the behaviour im assuming the op does not wear adult nappies suck a bottle and is otherwise of sound mind?? Wink

sonlypuppyfat · 23/02/2014 22:27

I'm my mum's baby and I'm 47.

nooka · 23/02/2014 22:36

Personally I think calling children babies when they are long past that stage is really quite odd. If I met someone who called her 7 year old a baby I'd think they were infantalising the child, and I'd be amazed that the child hadn't put them right, with a 'I'm not a baby I'm a big boy/girl. In fact I'd expect a 3 year old to say that too.

I suppose calling your adult children, children is also slightly odd, but it's a much more conventional way to describe your offspring, regardless of age (in fact it's one of the dictionary definitions of the word).

I can't imagine calling my children babies/baby or them liking it if I did. I'd be bewildered if my mother called me baby or referred to me and my siblings as babies. I'd wonder if she was perhaps losing it a bit. Of course in a family where that was totally normal it probably wouldn't seem odd at all.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 23/02/2014 22:37

I call all of mine my babies although it's usually either because I want a hug (DS1 is bigger than me now and gives Good Hugs - DH is shorter than me and his vertical hugging gives me backache) or because I want to wind them up (or because their friends can hear mwahahahaha)

They're quite obviously not actual babies, but they will always be my babies.

LyndaCartersBigPants · 23/02/2014 22:39

I find it really annoying sorry! Mine stopped being babies at about a year old and I find it a bit twee if DP's ex someone calls their 5 yo 'the baby'.

Beamur · 23/02/2014 22:41

I picked up my giant 6 yr old baby today and cradled her and called her baby (we were mucking about) and she both protested a bit and liked it! It's a term of affection, I'm not infantalising my child, I'm just having a bit of fun, but also saying no matter how big you get, I'll still love you.
My Mum has always said to me, in humour, that I'll always be her baby and now I understand what she means.

Back2Basics · 23/02/2014 22:44

If I knew you it would irritate me tbh.

I don't really like it, other pet nicknames wouldn't irritate me as such just babies and beauts gets my goat.

My dc are called the brats. LOL

Ghostofsmokeyjoe · 23/02/2014 22:49

I was the only child in the extended family for years so was called "the baby" by everyone until I was about 8, despite my indignant foot stamping from the age of about 3ish. It always annoyed me being called this by half a dozen assorted aunts and uncles and didn't stop till there were actual other babies around. Still makes me feel a bit erk when used with non babies tbh...

littledrummergirl · 23/02/2014 22:51

My 13yr old baby climbed onto my lap today for a cuddle. He may be becoming a man but he still needs to be cherished.
My younger dcs are also my babies.
My baby sister is soon going to be a mummy Smile she will still be the baby of the family.
My mum calls us her babies still.

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