EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever ·
21/02/2014 16:39
...and illogical and irrational to boot. I need a (gentle-ish) talking to, so feel free to call me U, I know that I am, but some ideas for how to stop being would be great.
I've been trying to get upduffed (with DC2) for a good long while now. A couple of weeks ago I had an early miscarriage. So much for my sob back story.
I volunteer with a group that helps out new mums and decided that it would be best to take some time off for a while for a variety of (probably fairly obvious) reasons. One of the women who is also involved has just announced her third pregnancy. I am absolutely filled with dislike for her. I'm having dreams that are so real I wake up wondering if they're memories and they're about her - the last one I dreamt that she was crying to someone that this pregnancy just wasn't as sweet as the last one and she was really upset that it wasn't how she imagined and I woke u shaking with rage.
Wtf is wrong with me that I have focused my negative feelings on this one woman? I mean - why her? And what can I do to stop this? Every time I hear about her, see her, read a FB post I get all choked up on anger and loss and about a hundred other negative emotions.
It doesn't help that I feel like she'd avoiding me. She knows about my situation because she was present when I broke down in tears about it taking so long to conceive and she's part of the voluntary group that I'm taking time off from. I guess I feel like she's avoiding me because she's pregnant and knows I'm not and THAT MAKES ME MORE ANGRY.
I feel like a complete fruitloop - and I don't mean that in a derogatory against people with MH issues way. I actually feel like I'm losing my grip on reality occasionally.
OK. Told you IWBU