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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moving to London

189 replies

Italwayshappenstome · 21/02/2014 13:47

I have copied this thread from the Lone parenting section, thought it would make sense to post in multiple areas:

Hi, I had no idea where else to post this topic so thought here would do.

I am a lone parent, have ds who has just turned one. I currently live in the north of England and work here. My salary is ok and I receive tax credits due to being SP.

I don't really enjoy my job and it feels like a daily grind and I can't see me wanting to stick it out any longer than I have to. There are no prospects for me at all.

I have seen a job advertised but it is in London. I need to find out what the salary would be (waiting on a call back plus loads of other Questions I'd like to ask them about the position).

My question is has anyone moved to a completely new area miles and miles away from friends and family as a lone parent and succeeded? Is the cost of living in London expensive and would it be worth my while since I am on my own with a baby. I am anxious about the cost of living and childcare more than anything else, plus being miles away from my family and friends.

Anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
LurkingCinners · 21/02/2014 19:22

I would also advise only to move to London if your salary is almost guaranteed to go up significantly in the near future.

London is great for kids but you need spare money to make it happen. Everything costs more than up North, music lessons, swimming lessons, childcare, etc.

We lived on 30k with 2 small dc 10 years ago, and it was really tough. I look back in horror. We knew it would only be a short while (only a year in the end) but that sort of money stretched nowhere. And we paid only 850 in rent per month, quite cheap.

Think carefully. Maybe a trainee job where you are now and then move to London to get a higher paid job? Or a move to a big city which isn't London?

nannyj · 21/02/2014 19:48

There are also other costs involved when working full time. I've just moved from London as work life balance was awful and I earned over £30,000 and had a free flat with my job. Everything is more expensive including food etc. I think you would really struggle on £18,000 but go for the job and see what happens. Good luck.

apermanentheadache · 21/02/2014 19:48

Unless you can get social housing through a swap, I am sorry to say I completely agree with Mintyy. 18k, even with tax credits top-up, will be no where near enough to live on. While I appreciate your frustration and your dream to get on, I think you would be likely to be absolutely miserable and on the breadline, with no friends/family safety net.

Childcare will be around 55 per day absolute minimum. Unless you rely on a bike or walking everywhere, you will need some form of public transport even if only occasionally.

Rent will be . Cheap places are cheap for a reason usually: insalubrious area, unsuitable for walking alone in the dark in, far away from shops/transport links etc.

I am sure that this sounds very negative but it's vital to be realistic.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 21/02/2014 20:04

Do you currently have supportive family nearby? Because if you do I wouldn't give that up for the world!

We have a great life but having family nearby is the one thing I would change. We have the whole work / life / kids thing balanced really really well - until someone gets ill and then it all falls apart.

As a lone parent you really need support from someone.

apermanentheadache · 21/02/2014 20:08

Mumof speaks sense. It is when you or your DC gets ill it all goes wrong. This mightn't be relevant if your currently nearby relatives don't ever help you now, though.

It is so stressful when illness strikes and you have to be at work.

Original poster
Italwayshappenstome · 21/02/2014 22:52

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I hadn't considered one of us getting ill tbh cos usually when I'm ill I just plough thru it cos I've no choice.

My parents are very supportive when I need them so yes they are my safety net. I was a little worried when I spoke to the lady from the company today and she said 18k, that will be before tax.

If only this job was in the north I'd go for it in a heart beat, I've a feeling I'm gonna over think it now and not apply due to the realisation I was probably being overly-optimistic.

Ahh well, I'll just keep looking. Thank you so much for your replies, I appreciate it

OP posts:
movingmovingmoving · 21/02/2014 23:14

I wouldn't move away from family and friends if I had a choice, with children, and I have a DH! You honestly don't know how much you'll miss their support.

You should look for a challenge closer to home; if you moved to London it sounds like you 'd be living in a boring suburban area (I know it) with no support, and you'd end up doing 'London' things once in a blue moon. Sorry. Get a better job locally and enjoy living near your family and friends.

LittleBearPad · 22/02/2014 08:12

Apply and see what happens. If you get it you don't have to take it.

Visit the area and see what you think. London is expensive but it also has lots of amazing free things to do which are great for children.

XiCi · 22/02/2014 08:53

Where do you live OP? Have you thought about moving to a bigger city in the North? Liverpool, Manchester, Glasgow, Edinburgh? Somewhere where it is closer to family support but you can still command higher salaries and find that challenge you are looking for
Im in the North West and earn 3 times that salary. The thought of being in London on 18k would fill me with dread. If its London youre set on could you retrain and then look for jobs that start on a higher salary? Good luck with whatever you decide

MegBusset · 22/02/2014 09:09

I have to agree with everyone else, that's not a living London wage even for someone without children. I earned £18k in London nearly 20 years ago and was skint all the time, lived in shitty flatshares etc. It was fine because I was young and had no dependants. It would be miserable for children.

On another note, I think on a societal level it's not right for the taxpayer to subsidise these pitiful salaries with tax credits etc. Of course people doing these jobs need help but ideally everybody should boycott jobs offering below the London living wage.

FamiliesShareGerms · 22/02/2014 09:16

I lived in London 10 years ago as a single person on £18k and it was plenty! But unlikely to be enough now with a DC to support - once they are school age it's easier, as after school clubs etc easy to find and cheap-ish. Housing is the big drain - cheap houses are cheap for a reason...

Southeastdweller · 22/02/2014 09:23

Oh my, I agree with the others - please don't move here on that salary. You could of course live in a crappy area nearby C.P of which there's a few but even then you'd be struggling.

RussianBlu · 22/02/2014 09:24

Yes MegBusset, good idea. Lets all boycott jobs earning in the region of £18k a year in London and stay at home watching Cash in the Attic. What a fantastic idea. Hmm. Lots of people have no choice but to take jobs on much less than that a year in London whether they like it or not.

MegBusset · 22/02/2014 14:22

I said ideally. Of course it would never happen in the real world.

As long as there are people prepared to work for low wages, wages will stay low :(

NigellasDealer · 22/02/2014 14:27

yes but megbussett a working parent you would be entitled to a range of support from wftc, ctc, cb, hb etc which you as a single person were not.
so how you lived as a single person is irrelevant to OP.
OP do not underestimate how hard it is without support as a single parent and how isolating a new area could be.

getdownshep · 22/02/2014 15:40

My dds have both moved to London, they share a room in Kilburn.
That's costs them over £400 per month, they both earn quite a bit more than £18 grand and they struggle some months.
No childcare to pay for as well.

RussianBlu · 22/02/2014 17:29

I don't think its a case of being prepared to work for low wages, its a case of having to. I don't think its negotiable so there isn't a huge amount that a person looking for a job can do really.

getdownshep, I don't understand why your daughters have a combined income of over £36,000 a year and are struggling if they are each paying £200 a month in rent unless they have large debts that they are paying off or are living extravagant life styles.

If the op were to find a flat and have a chunk of her rent paid for by Housing Benefit and also some of her childcare covered by tax credits then she would be perfectly able to survive in London unless she had huge debts or something. I think perhaps travel costs could be a nuisance unless she was able to walk to work. You can do lots of cheap/free things in London or you can spend an absolute fortune.

MrsKoala · 22/02/2014 18:10

It is perfectly doable to live in London on £18k if you have no dependants. a double room in a shared house all inclusive of bills is £500 a month in Norwood Junction (a short bus ride to crystal palace). £18k would give you £1266 a month. So you would be left with over £700 for food, fares and going out/living etc.

It's once you add dc to the mix that everything shoots up - as you can't live in a house share and you need childcare.

Not saying anything disparaging about the OP or those in similar situations - life happens and i earn barely more. But this is why the types of training jobs on this salary are the first rung of the ladder and people often wait longer till they are higher up to have dc. It is why changing career or retraining once you have dc is an almost impossible task, especially if you are a SP.

I have placed graduates in work in Southwark on £13k. The idea is these 'juniors' are living at home and wont stay in this position long - a year tops - then climb up the ladder. No one older with dc could afford to do it - unless heavily supported.

Mintyy · 22/02/2014 18:32

I'm shocked at that salary tbh. I was earning £18,000 in 1992 and I have never been in a highly paid profession.

Southeastdweller · 22/02/2014 19:16

Mrs It's been mentioned up thread that cheap places are cheap for damn good reasons and I can't think why anyone would want to willingly live in an unsafe dump like Norwood Junction.

GoodnessIsThatTheTime · 22/02/2014 21:17

Lots and lots of jobs on that kind of salary. Not sure why anyone would be surprised.

Lots of jobs even less.

Urbanvoltaire · 22/02/2014 21:38

OP if you're looking at areas around CP eg Penge, Sydenham, check out Beckenham as well, it's quite family friendly with good schools, served by bus, train and tram.

I wish you luck whatever you decide.

MrsKoala · 23/02/2014 09:34

Southeast - i know. My post was one of them :) but my point is when you are young with no dc. It is quite normal to live in a dump for a few years (i lived there for 4). Not great. But doable to train and get up the career ladder. Most trainee type jobs rely on that people will do this. There are plenty of people willing to live in Norwood Junction - i couldn't afford a house there still! :(

BsshBossh · 23/02/2014 09:45

You can live in London on a 18k salary but you'll be pretty much limited to a houseshare or as a lodger and no childcare costs. Personally I wouldn't move down here OP. It's going to be very tough as a low-earning LP with no free back-up childcare in place.

Iwillorderthefood · 23/02/2014 10:07

I agree with a lot of what people are saying on this thread. Please don't look at Streatham either, as the places you could afford would be in awful areas. Yes to Sydenham. London is a hard city to go it alone in. It will be hard to make friends with little money, and hard to do anything at all other than put a roof over your head (and this may be questionable). Local veg shops etc are reasonable. Please note, I found it hard on£13.5k in 1997 as a new graduate renting the smallest room in a house share. I was able to afford to go out too, not extravagantly, but could have a drink after work. I would think it would feel very isolated as a lone parent.