To think there should be a national ^Plan your Funeral Day^

[UhOhChongo]

It's such a touchy subject that no-one wants to think about but that can create additional angst and stress for the bereaved. There could be a check-list for guidance and it could be aimed at all ages...?

Funerals are for the living not the dead. I sincerely doubt any of us give a toss what happens once we have shuffled off .... those expecting a piss up, party, and some breast smiting and wailing, on the other hand probably want to be seen to be doing the right thing.

I don't think that a day for it is going to change much, so I can't see the benefit tbh. Some people will pre plan, some won't.

I think that in life it makes sense to discuss this with your nearest and dearest but some people won't.

But for the living it can give a lot of reassurance knowing that your relatives goodbye has been done the way they wanted.

and the planning shouldn't just be about the funeral side of things, but making sure your family know where important documents are, where you have money, who you want informing etc

Dying Matters has a "my funeral plan" form that could be helpful, it was released not very long ago and was on a few morning shows when it happened if I recall right: www.dyingmatters.org/page/my-funeral-wishes. Their range of resources and information is fantastic.

So true, Sirzy. My parents and DH's parents have bought and paid for their funerals. They are all in their 70s, bar FIL who is in his late 60s but has very poor health. SUCH a relief! They will get exactly what they want, including the wording on their headstones, FIL has chosen the urn he wants. All paid for and not subject to price increase.

Thanks very much for responses, links, and sharing your experiences. The Dying Matters site seems to have this subject covered and I suppose just specifying whether you would prefer Cremation or Burial, at least gets your family/friends over the main hurdle.

I think what also helps is if we clear any clutter we have and any excess possessions so our loved ones are saved the awful job of going through too many things. I have read terrible stories of people having to sort through mountains of items that were left behind

We have done it. We have a funeral plan where we pay a monthly sum and the costs are covered. We had to fill in a form stating hymns, music etc and a copy of the certificate will go to our dc.

Cogito that's brilliant. I love your Dad :)

Dying matters are great. I really love this website too: www.finalfling.com/

This is timely! I have in the last week for no apparent reason done what I should have done ages ago and put proper term insurance in place to cover my mortgage. Then redid my will to make sure everything goes to my 3 kids rather than their twunt of a dad. Next stop...funeral!

My and DH have already said what we would like, and what we couldn't care less about - and we're only in our twenties! I have always said that if you have an idea, and something terrible happens like an accident, it's got to be easier than the added worry of not doing what they would have liked, as well as dealing with the grief. My parents have always said what they want so if anything happened out of the blue we would be able to uphold their wishes.

Death and taxes are the 2 things in life you can't avoid.
Having just had MiL's funeral and now having the task of sorting her possessions I would definitely say to everyone: make a will and jot down what you want to happen. List who gets what, I know I will be dead and it won't affect me, but no will does leave your loved ones with a big mess to sort out at the time when they are at their lowest. The last thing you want to leave those who love you is the "who gets what" argument after the funeral.

I don't care what happens at my funeral. It's not for me.

When my mum died, she had no interest in discussing her funeral and I thought that was fair enough. In the event, it wasn't very difficult to sort out. We just booked the Co-op crem plan, chose a few songs she liked, did a booklet with pictures of her etc, had a few sandwiches afterwards at the social club. I would say it is slightly more hassle than booking train tickets but slightly less than switching your energy supplier.

But we all get on as a family and would not have argued about it anyway, just on principle. I expect if you have a more fighty family it might make sense to write it down for them.

I've told the boys I want as many bits of mine as are useful to be used to help other people - they might like to think of it as (some of) me getting to live longer - and I don't really care what they do with the remainder. Just as long as they make sure I'm dead first.

Hopefully I'll live to be so old that not much of me is recyclable by the time it becomes available, but one never knows.

everyone should have a look to see how much they cost, even the dirt cheap ones

then they should save towards it so that the people left behind don't have to go into debt to bury them

I completely get all the I won't be there, it doesn't matter bit, but it's the added stress on those left behind who want to do the right thing by you that I'm thinking about.

PS. Not to mention all the sniping from the sidelines that seems to inevitably take place.

Yep.
Have written it down...songs, readings etc.
My dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly in July last year. He refused point black to discuss the subject.
It made a very difficult situation harder for me as it was left to me to arrange everything.
I hope it was what he would have wanted.
I don't really care what they do tbh but it's just easier for them if there are a few ideas/wishes stated I think.

It's not the big things that are hard to sort out, probate sorts out w/o gets the house and the money...but who gets mum's rings? Her cut glass? The blue and white plates 2 sisters have always coveted? Even if there is no dispute, and everyone gets on well, the stress of sorting everything out fairly when you are guessing as to what would have been wanted when you are grieving is hard.

Make a Will, write it down, do it as a final gift for those left behind.