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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit "hmm" about charity treks abroad

174 replies

prettybutclumpy · 20/02/2014 15:56

I am donning my hard hat, but am interested to know if anyone feels the same as me about this!

I feel a bit unwilling to give to charity for friends who are doing a charity trek or other big activity abroad. I think for some people they are just a chance for a cheap holiday and amazing experience which they sort of shame their friends into "paying" for. I do know that most people pay a fee for joining in the activity, but I am sure this doesn't cover all the costs for the charity - I think the charity relies on each individual meeting or exceeding their fundraising targets to cover additional costs. If anyone works for a charity, I'd really like to know whether this is true!

I also feel that I should choose which charities I give my cash to which are of particular relevance to me and my family, rather than to choose charities offering these experiences. However, I do feel pressed into giving funds as it is someone I know who has asked me directly to contribute.

Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just an old moany-pants?

OP posts:
awaynboilyurheid · 21/02/2014 09:59

A few weeks ago there was a group bag packing in M and S as I put money in the bucket I asked what they were fundraising for and was told its for our choir to tour Europe I was a bit Hmm that's a holiday surely, to add insult to injury I had keys/receipt in the same hand as money so dropped more money in the box than I meant to !

PikaAchooo · 21/02/2014 10:14

The group that went out were structural engineers.

It was a limited leadership project so yes they needed certain skills to be able to apply.

A sand dam is actually very low maintenance once it's complete. To my knowledge some locals were taught how to maintain it properly and on each trip that goes out (I think 2 a year) they visit a minimum of 2 sand dams to see firstly what they are doing and how it can help a community and secondly to do any work that is needed.

The reason that the locals couldn't have done it originally were for the reasons above.

neepsandtatties · 21/02/2014 10:24

It is a swizzle (to the sponsors). Just looked at Marie Curie's Nepal Treck. To register, the trecker pays 250.

Minumum sponsorship is 3000 "Of the money raised, around 50 per cent of the minimum sponsorship will be used to cover the costs of your transportation, accommodation, food, guides and back-up team."

So for a trip to Nepal, the breakdown is thus

Holiday-maker: Pays 250 for holiday of a lifetime
Charity: Raises 1500 for their good cause
Profit-making tour company: Is paid 1500 to facillitate the trip

Sponsors: 50% of what they give goes to charity, 50% goes towards paying for a holiday of a lifetime for their mate.

The only way the Marie Curie example would be acceptable would be if the holiday maker paid, from their savings, 1750 towards their holiday, and then got donations on top of this.

MothratheMighty · 21/02/2014 10:25

'I don't agree. My Dad went to Kenya this year to build a Sand Dam.'

'The group that went out were structural engineers.

It was a limited leadership project so yes they needed certain skills to be able to apply.'

PikAchoo, do you understand what this thread is about?

PikaAchooo · 21/02/2014 10:29

Yes I do...

Originally I assumed due to the title that it was solely to do with charity treks but this sentence "I feel a bit unwilling to give to charity for friends who are doing a charity trek or other big activity abroad" in the OP made it appear that it was more than just the treks she objected to.

Quinteszilla · 21/02/2014 10:33

Pikachoo, I think it goes without saying it was in the context of leisure. Nowhere was work mentioned. Your dad used his skills and built a dam. He did not holiday. Major difference.

PikaAchooo · 21/02/2014 10:37

I appreciate that. That was why I posted really. There are different reasons that people would choose to do these things.

It was from the other side that's all.

MothratheMighty · 21/02/2014 10:39

Old bloke who is an engineer, working with a group to design, locate and build a sand dam in the most efficient place possible, checking that the concrete and structure are as sound as possible, and training others in the low-tech upkeep of the dam.
Fantastic

Old bloke with a shovel piling up sand at a quarter of the rate the younger, fitter and poorer blokes who live in the village could manage, then taking lots of photos to show the people back home how generous he's being to the poor, black, incompetent natives.
Pointless, tokenistic and inefficient.

PikaAchooo · 21/02/2014 10:44

My Dad would be very offended at being called old. He is only 50 and physically very fit.

Funnily enough the majority of help that did come from the community came from the women not the men too.

MothratheMighty · 21/02/2014 10:46

Younger than me then! Grin

PikaAchooo · 21/02/2014 10:47

Haha Grin

The only point I was making was that some people do try and do these things for the right reasons.

chippers1 · 21/02/2014 10:49

cant be arsed to read all 5 pages of replies to this one, but I can imagine there is a lot of people agreeing with the OP while they will happily sponsor some twat to run around a park in a pink t shirt ! - People that do these trips are doing something that probably 90% of people here could not do, just down to the physical side of it.

A lot of resentment towards people trying to make a difference.

RuddyDuck · 21/02/2014 10:52

I went to a talk last year given by a relative of a maxillo-facial consultant, who gives up 2 weeks of his annual leave each year to fly out to a hospital ship which travels round the coast of Africa, giving free surgery and aftercare to people who don't have access to surgery. The work undertaken is inspirational, children with cleft palates having corrective surgery, people with facial tumours being removed etc etc. I happily gave a donation at the end and didn't care if it went towards the doctors plane ticket or towards the running costs of the ship itself, one way or another it was funding amazing work.

Recently my neighbour asked me if I would sponsor her 16 year old son who is going to Mozambique to "teach English" for 2 weeks, followed by a safari. I said no.

PumpkinsMummy · 21/02/2014 11:03

Roar @ fecklessdizzy I think this is the best phrase I have ever made on mumsnet!

PumpkinsMummy · 21/02/2014 11:05

Blush sorry meant this

It must be bad enough being a Peruvian orphan without having to put up with a lot of clueless home-counties spotties turning up and getting under your feet ...

PumpkinsMummy · 21/02/2014 11:09

oh ffs, that should read "heard" not "made"

ksrwr · 21/02/2014 11:11

i think its ok for people to do these big treks if they're covering the cost themselves. as then its win win for everyone.

the one that makes me wonder is when i get an update from charity through which i sponsor a child in Cameroon saying donors are welcome to visit, i'm pretty sure they'd be happier with my 1k+ airfare than a visit!!

chocoluvva · 21/02/2014 11:13

My 15YO DS is going on an expedition which will include some charity work. He isn't asking for sponsor money as he doesn't want to ask people to fund a project he's doing for his own enjoyment and education.

YADNBU OP.

really1234 · 21/02/2014 11:15

YANBU at all unless the person has paid in full for the experience and the charity gets all donations.

DH did a Kilimanjaro climb last year but we paid in full for him to do it as it was something he wanted to do (around£3-4k all in). It was only later that we thought he should probably raise some money while he was doing it, so he did a justgiving page and raised around £3k for charity, every Penny of which went direct to the charity.

I don't want my charity sponsorship money to pay in part for the person doing it, that is not what a charity donation should be for.

MooncupGoddess · 21/02/2014 11:21

"People that do these trips are doing something that probably 90% of people here could not do, just down to the physical side of it."

So what? Personally I could never compete in international sport, but that's not a reason for me paying for other people to do it.

"A lot of resentment towards people trying to make a difference."

But the point is not whether they mean well, which I'm sure they all do, but whether their expeditions make an actual contribution to helping disadvantaged people.

SirChenjin · 21/02/2014 11:21

Absolutely - if they are funding the trips themselves it's fine (ish - I'm not sure the idea of middle class kids traipsing over to some developing country to 'build' an orphanage sits well with me). Someone upthread mentioned a relative of theirs who raised £13K over 2 years through fundraising - the fact is, you are still looking to other people to fund your trip (to a greater or lesser degree). Why not just give £13K to the charity?

DebbieOfMaddox · 21/02/2014 11:23

DH has done a couple of treks (one organised for him, one he organised himself) but always insists on covering all his costs himself up front - any money he raises goes directly to the charity. Otherwise, as you say, it's like expecting other people to pay for his holiday.

VulvaBeaker · 21/02/2014 11:23

I have noticed, as someone else said, that the same sorts of people do this.

I want to say self-aggrandizing or smug, but I feel bad for doing it because charidy.

SirChenjin · 21/02/2014 11:49

And sheltered, middle class kids who haven't done a day's work in their lives, but suddenly feel the need to hammer a nail into a bit of wood under the guise of personal growth. Some will argue that it teaches them humility, a better understanding of how fortunate they are and transferable lifeskills they can add to their CV. Others (ie me) will argue that they don't need to go much further than their local homeless charity do achieve that, but a daily 20 minute train ride (where they may or may not get a seat) into the city centre for 8 weeks over the summer to clean toilets or wipe tables isn't quite the same as a 2 week trip on a plane to Peru to help in an orphanage followed by a holiday to Machu Picchu to recover.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 21/02/2014 11:50

The trip my sister did was a one-off, she won't be doing it again. As I said before, she paid her actual costs out of her own pocket, & this yearly trek the MD association does makes a heck of a lot of money for them. Close to everyone in our small farming community was more than happy to donate (not just donations either, my sister held many cake stalls/car boots etc.). My mum is my brother's full time carer, & if she wanted to go on one of the treks, I think it would be very much justified.